Muhammad al-Muwaylihi

What 'Isa ibn Hisham Told Us


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told the Waiter to bring a glass for the salesman who drank it and left. The ʿUmdah then clinked two glasses together to bring the waiter over to light his cigarette and ordered another round of drinks.

      Prince (to the ʿUmdah) What’s the crop like in your area? How much cotton have you got per feddan?28

      ʿUmdah By your Highness’s breath, I’ve been getting eight per feddan.

      Merchant That’s an excellent yield, but prices are falling. Has His Highness sold his cotton yet, or is he holding it back?

      Prince (to one of the company) I’m not going to pay more than twenty pounds for that dagger I saw today.

      Member of the Company What if the owner insists on thirty?

      Prince (to another member) I’m still sorry about the dog that died and the parrot that flew away. Waiter, another round!

      ١٠،٢٩ornament29.10

      ولما جاء الدور وتناول كل كأسه أخرج العمدة ذلك الموز من جيبه فمسح واحدة منها بمنديله وقدمها للبرنس وفرق البقية على الحاضرين فيجد أحدهم صوفًا متلبدًا في موزته فيعافيها ويضعها على المائدة.

      أحد الحاضرين (للعمدة) هل هذا الموز من عزبتكم ووهل تطعمونه بالصوف عندكم؟

      العمدة كلا بل هم من الموز النوبار ولم يمكث في جيبي غير مسافة الطريق.

      فيتأفف الخليع ويجمع الموز ويناوله الخادم فيسأله العمدة هل يجب أن نطلب شمبانيا فيصوب له رأيه.

      العمدة (للخادم) أحضر لنا شمبانيا انكليزية.

      أحد الحاضرين (لصاحبه) يظهر أنه رمى بعشرة.

      الصاحب في العقاري.

      أحد الحاضرين وما معنى انكليزية.

      الصاحب يعني من جنس الجنيه.

      When the new round arrived and everyone had grabbed their glass, the ʿUmdah brought out the bananas from his pocket. He wiped one of them with his handkerchief and offered it to the Prince, then distributed the rest among the people present. One of them found some wool sticking to his banana, so he discarded it and left it on the table.

      One of the Company (to the ʿUmdah) Are these bananas from your farm land? Do you ripen them in wool where you come from?

      ʿUmdah No, my dear Sir, they’re from the New Bar. They’ve only been in my pocket for long enough for us to walk here.

      (The Playboy is disgusted. He collects all the bananas and hands them to the waiter. The ʿUmdah asks whether they should order champagne. His offer is accepted.)

      ʿUmdah (to the waiter) Bring us some English champagne!

      One of the Company (to his companion) It looks as though the ʿUmdah’s crop has actually produced ten per feddan!

      Companion Yes, in the real-estate bank!

      One of the Company What does “English” mean?

      Companion From the same nation as the pound.

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      وفي هذه الأثناء يعود البائع فيقوم البرنس ويخرج ثم يتسلل أصحابه من بعده واحدًا بعد واحد ويميل العمدة على أطباق النقل فيستوعبها أكلا.

      العمدة (للتاجر) كل من هذا قبل ان يعود البرنس فما ألذه ولكن ينقصنا الخبز.

      الخليع البرنس ركب العربة وذهب.

      التاجر ولكنني لم أره دفع شيئًا من الحساب.

      العمدة لعل له هنا حسابًا جاريًا.

      الخليع نسأل الخادم.

      الخادم لم يدفع البرنس شيئًا.

      الخليع وكم الحساب؟

      الخادم سبعون فرنكا بما فيه ثمن الطعام.

      العمدة أنا لا أصدق ان البرنس لم يدفع شيء طلبه وعلى فرض ذلك فلا بد ان يرجع فخذ الحساب منه عند رجوعه.

      الخادم من عادته أنه اذا خرج على هذه الصورة فانه لا يعود في ليلته ومع ذلك فاني أقيد على البرنس قيمة ما تناوله فقط كما هي العادة أيضًا.

      العمدة اذا كنت أدفع شيئًا فلا أدفع الا ثمن ما شربه البرنس وحده.

      Meanwhile the salesman came back. The Prince got up at once and left. One by one the members of the company slinked out after him. The ʿUmdah leaned over the leftovers from the dessert trays and helped himself.

      ʿUmdah (to the Merchant) Try some of this before the Prince comes back. It’s delicious. But we don’t have any bread.

      Playboy The Prince got into his carriage and left.

      Merchant I didn’t see him pay any of the check.

      ʿUmdah Maybe he has a standing account here.

      Playboy Let’s ask the waiter.

      Waiter The Prince didn’t pay anything.

      Playboy How much is the check?

      Waiter Including the food, seventy francs.

      ʿUmdah I can’t believe that His Highness would leave without paying his share of the bill. In that case, he must be coming back. Get the amount he owes from him when he comes back.

      Waiter Whenever the Prince gets up and leaves like that, he usually won’t be back that night. Even so, I’ll add just the cost of what you’ve had to his account. That’s normal as well.

      ʿUmdah If I were going to pay for anything at all, it would only be for what his Highness the Prince had to drink.

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      وفيما هم في هذا النزاع اذ دخل وكيل مديرية فنهض له العمدة ومد له يده والتفت الى الخادم.