the object of his affections to himself but unlike the parent behaves in a disordered way, doing things that are inappropriate to their place and time. The third is the ordinary situation and consists of a person loving his beloved but loving himself more; this is the commonest.
3.2.13
وهناك ايضا ثلث احوال اخرى مكانية وهى القرب والبعد والتوسط * ولها تاثيرات مختلفة بحسب اختلاف طباع الناس * فالصادق الود يحب فى حالتى القرب والبعد على حدّ سوى * بل ربما كان البعاد مهيجا له الى زيادة الشوق والغرام * وما احسن قول من قال فى هذا المعنى
| كانّ الهوى شمس ابى ان يردّها | مهاة نوىً لا بل تزيد بها حرّا |
فاما الطَرِف الشَنِق فانه لا يرسل الساق الّا ممسكا ساقا *
There are also three locational states, namely proximity, distance, and their midpoint, and these have different impacts depending on the differences among people’s dispositions. One whose love is true will love to the same extent whether he be near or far; indeed, separation may urge him on to greater longing and passion. No one has described this situation better than the one who said
Methinks the beloved a sun that separation
Refuses to take as “oryx doe.”21 Rather, it makes it burn yet hotter.
The free-grazing male, on the other hand, the one with a roving eye, never puts one leg forward without holding the other back.
3.2.14
وثلث اخرى زمانية وهى الصبى والشباب والكهولة * فمحبة الصبى اسرع واعلق * ومحبة الشباب احرّ واقوى * ومحبة الكهولة اقرّ وادوم * والكهل يقدر محاسن محبوبه ومنافعه اكثر * ومحبته له تكون امرّ واحلى * فالمرارة لعلمه انه قد عرّض نفسه للوم اللائمين وعذل العاذلين من الاحداث والاغرار * ولاشفاقه دائما من ملل محبوبه اياه * فقلبه ابدا واجب * وهمّه بشانه هم ناصب * والحلاوة لزيادة معرفته بقدر محبوبه كما تقدم * ولكون هواه والحالة هذه راهنا متمكنا فهو يعتقد بمجامع قلبه انه ساع فى اسباب سعادته وحظه *
There are a further three states that are temporal. These are childhood, youth, and maturity. The affection of the child is that most quickly given and the most tenacious, that of the youth the hottest and strongest, and that of the mature person the most firmly grounded and longest lasting. The mature person also values his beloved’s good qualities and advantages more highly and his love for that person is both more bitter and more sweet. The bitterness comes from his knowing that he is exposing himself to the reproach and censure of the reproachful and censorious among the young and inexperienced, as well as to his own anxiety that his beloved may grow bored with him. Thus his heart ever burns, his mind to his beloved ever turns. The sweetness comes from his greater awareness of his beloved’s worth, as noted above, and from his love being as a result permanent and strong, for he believes with all his heart that he is pursuing what will bring him happiness and his due portion of good fortune.
3.2.15
ولها ايضا ثلث حالات اخرى باعتبار الاستطاعة وعدمها اعنى اليسر والعسر وحالة ما بينهما * اما الموسر فان محبته ابرد واحول * لان غناه يحمله على استبدال محبوبه والتنقل من حال الى حال * فلتحذر النسآ المحصنات هذا الصنف من الناس وان ماس بينهن١ ماسه * الا اذا كن لا يخفن على سرّهن وعرضهن * لان الغنىّ يستحلّ افشآ الاسرار * كما يستحيل خزن الدينار * وعنده ان كل شى عبد درهمه * وطوع نَهَمه * فاما الفقير فان محبته اشطّ واشذ واَلْوَع * لان فقره من حيث كان مانعًا له من ازالة الموانع التى تحول بينه وبين محبوبه لا يلبث ان يفضى به الى اليأس او الخبال او الى الانتحار * فاما المتوسط فان حبّه اعدل واصحّ *
١ ١٨٥٥: بهن.
Love has likewise three states with respect to means or the lack thereof—by which I have in mind material comfort, hardship, and their midpoint. The affection of the man of comfortable means is the coolest and most fickle, for his wealth allows him to change beloveds and shift from state to state. Let respectable women beware this type of man lest he spread scandal among them, unless they have no fear for their secrets and their honor, for the rich man has as little against giving away secrets as he has against piling up money, and to him everything is to his coin subservient, to his greed obedient. The affection of the poor man, in contrast, is the most excessive, deviant, and agonized, for his poverty, being an obstacle to his removal of the impediments that stand between him and his beloved, leads him in no time to despair, insanity, or suicide. The love of the man of middling means is the most balanced and healthy.
3.2.16
ولها ايضا ثلث حالات اخرى وهى الذل والعزّ والمساواة * فالذل غالبا صفة العاشق والعزّ صفة المعشوق * ومن اعجب انواع المحبة الحبّ المختلط بالبغض * وذلك كان يهوى رجل امراة وهى تهوى غيره وتتمنع عليه * فيهيج به وجده الى وصالها تشفّيا منها * فان فاز به غلبت محبته على كراهيته والّا فلا * ولا يزال هذا دابه حتى يسلو عنها * والغالب ان المحب لا يسلو محبوبه اذا عامله بالصد والحرمان الا اذا ظفر باخر شبيه له فى خلقه وخلقه وهيهات ذلك *
There are three more states of love, namely abjection, pride, and equality. Abjection usually is the state of the suitor, pride that of the one to whom suit is made. One of the most amazing kinds of affection is love mixed with hatred. An example would be a man who loves a woman who loves another man, and therefore refuses his advances. His fervor then urges him to pursue union with her as a form of vengeance against her. If he is successful in this, his love overcomes his hatred for her; if he isn’t, it doesn’t, and he remains in this state until some consolation distracts him from her. Generally speaking, the lover doesn’t forget his beloved when the latter treats him with aversion and denial but only on winning another who resembles the first physically and temperamentally (though how rarely that happens!).
3.2.17
فاما بواعث المحبة فقد تكون عن نظرة واحدة تقع