as a way to get to her.
When he falls ill and is stuck in bed whining and moaning while she’s stuck to the window wolf-whistling and groaning.
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When he sees his neighbor sick in bed whining and moaning while his wife’s at the neighbor’s side groaning and bemoaning.
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When summer comes and he feels listless and lifeless, unsexed and unmanned, and his sinews go slack and he'd prefer to sleep alone.
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When winter comes and he feels shaken and stirred, distended and agitated, and his sinews throb and he'd prefer to spend the night with someone puffing in his face.
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4.7.5
اذا عنّ له سفر لا بدّ منه ولم يمكن له مصاحبة زوجته *
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اذا راى جاره قد سافر وترك زوجته خبعة طلعة راغية ثاغية *
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اذا غاب عن زوجته او غابت هى عنه فجعلت تكتب له ما تغيره به وتكيده وتقهره *
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اذا غاب رجل عن زوجته او غابت هى عنه فجعلت تكتب له ما تصبّره به وتسلّيه وتمنّيه *
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اذا قرا فى الكتب ان النسآ كلهن خائنات وان عقولهن فى فروجهن *
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اذا سمع عن امراة انها لم تخن زوجها وانها ردّت فى حبه هدايا عشاق كثيرين *
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اذا ركبه الضَفَف فلم يقدر على كفاية عائلته ولم تكن امراته جميلة لتنفعه *
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اذا راى امراة جميلة تماشى ولدا لها صغيرا بزيعًا فيقع فى الارض فتنهضه بيدها فيبكى قليلا حتى يحمر خدّاه *
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اذا جآ من محترفه وقابلته امراته بالصخب والمشارزة والنقار والضجيج والجؤار *
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اذا راى جاره قد آب من محترفه فسمع له ولزوجته رَتَلا وزَجَلا وهَمْسا ورِكزا ومباغمة ثم رفَثًا *
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When a journey looms that is unavoidable and on which he cannot take his wife.
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When his neighbor goes off on a journey and leaves his wife now appearing, now retreating, now blatting, now bleating.
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When he’s away from his wife or she’s away from him and she writes him things that make him jealous, lay snares for him, and leave him a broken man.
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When some man’s away from his wife or she’s away from him, and she writes him things that help him endure, comfort him, and give him hope.105
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When he reads in books that all women are unfaithful and their brains are in their vaginas.
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When he hears of some woman that she has never betrayed her husband and has returned, out of love for him, the gifts of many suitors.
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When he finds he has too many children to feed and can’t provide for his family and his wife’s no longer beautiful enough to be of any use to him.
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When he sees a beautiful woman walking with a small child of hers who’s cute and bright and he falls down and she pulls him up again and he cries a little, so that his cheeks turn red.
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When he comes home from work and his wife meets him with scolding and bad temper, bickering, bellowing, and bawling.
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When he sees his neighbor’s returned from work and hears him and his wife billing and cooing, whispering and rustling, talking in low, sweet voices, and, finally, talking dirty.
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4.7.6
اذا غاب عن بيته ورجع فوجد فراشه مشوّشا وشعر امراته مشعّثا بعد ان كانت اصلحتهما قبل خروجه *
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اذا رجع الى بيته فائزا بوطر ووجد فرشه موضونا وليس من تملاه شحما ولحما ثم راى فى جملة ذخائره خصلة شعر *
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اذا رآها تسارّ الخادم او الخادمة وتانس بهما وتتساهل معهما وتحسن اليهما *
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اذا راى امراة لا تسارّ الخادم ولا الخادمة ولا تبتسم لهما ولا تخلو باحد منهما *
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اذا رآها تتوقف فى المشى كلّما مرّ بها جميل بدعوى ضيق نعليها او غيره *
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اذا راى امراة تماشى زوجها وطرفها اليه ولا يزعجها من يمرّ بها كائنا ما كان *
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اذا اضطجعت حتى ينظرها من هو اعلى منها او اسفل واشوق ما تكون المراة ما اذا اضطجعت على جنبها *
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اذا راى امراة قد اضطرّت الى الاضطجاع وابت ذلك حيآ وحشمة سوآ كان ذلك فى حضور زوجها او فى غيابه *
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اذا كانت ذات هوى وضلع مع جيل بخصوصه ولا تزال تلهج بذكره *
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اذا كانت المراة غير ذات ميل وحذل مع احد وعندها ان زوجها يغنيها عن غيره *
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When he’s been out of the house and returns only to find his bed in a mess and his wife’s hair disheveled even though she had tidied both before he left.
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When he returns to his house having pulled off some triumph only to find his bedding neatly folded and no one to fill it with a nice warm body, and then comes across a lock of hair among his things.
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When he sees her sharing confidences with the manservant or maid, enjoying their company, becoming familiar with them, and doing them favors.
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When he sees a woman not sharing confidences with her manservant or maid or smiling at them or never spending time on her own with either of them.
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When he sees her pausing as she walks whenever a handsome man passes, claiming her shoe is too tight or something of the sort.
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When he sees a woman walking with her husband, her eyes fixed on him and paying as little mind to any who passes by as if they didn’t exist.
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When she lies down in such a fashion that anyone who is higher or lower than she can see her, and a woman is never more desirable than when she lies down on her side!
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When he sees a woman who has been required to lie down but refuses to do so out of modesty and decorum, whether in the presence or absence of her husband.
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When she’s full of love and attachment for a particular set of people and can’t stop talking about them.
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When a woman has no special inclination or liking for anyone and thinks she needs no one but her husband.
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4.7.7
اذا غاب عن بيته ثم رجع فلم
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