بغيرى * قلت ما انا بالكَلِف ولا بالطَرِف * لكن الرجل اذا كان شديد الحبّ لامراته ودّ لو انه يرضيها فى كل شى * على ان الغيرة لا تكون دائما عن المحبة كما نصّوا عليه * فان بعض النسآ يغرن على ازواجهن عن كراهية لهم واعنات * مثال ذلك اذا منعت المراة زوجها عن الخروج الى بستان او ملهى او حمّام مع عدة رجال متزوجين * هى تعلم انهم فى هذه المواضع لا يمكنهم الاجتماع بالنسآ فهى انما تفعل ذلك تحكما عليه ومنعا له من ذكر النسآ مع اصحابه والتلذذ بما لا يضيرها * وكذا اذا خظرته عن النظر من شباكه الى شارع او روضة حيث يكثر تردّد النسآ * وكذا الحكم على الرجل لو فعل ذلك بامراته * فهذا عند الناس يعدّ غيرة لكنه فى الواقع بغضة * او ربما كان آخر الغيرة اول البغض كما ان افراط الضحك هو اول البكآء * وكيف كان فان الرجل لا يمكن ان يحب زوجته الا اذا اباح لها التلذذ بما شآت وبمن احبّت * قالت ايفعل ذلك احد فى الدنيا * قلت نعم يفعله كثير فى بلاد غير بعيدة عنا * قالت بابى هم ولكن ما شان النسآ ايفعلن ذلك ايضا لازواجهن * قلت لا بدّ حتى يعتدل الميزان * قالت اما انا فلا ارضى بهذا الاعتدال فالميل عندى احسن * قلت وكذا هو عندى فى بعض الاحوال * قالت ولاحوال البعض *
“‘What would you think,’ I asked her, ‘if I got someone to deputize for me in that matter while I’m away?’ She laughed and said, ‘According to my taste or yours?’ ‘To yours, naturally,’ I replied. She said, ‘No man would agree to such a thing unless he was devoid of jealousy, and a man can be devoid of jealousy only if he hates his wife and is enamored of someone else, so you must be enamored of someone else.’ I said, ‘I am neither enamored nor inconstant, but when a man is deeply in love with his wife he hopes to please her in everything, though we must not overlook the fact that jealousy is not always, as people would have it, a product of love: some women’s jealousy regarding their husbands comes from hatred of them and a desire to hurt them. An example would be if a woman were to prevent her husband from going out to a park, a place of entertainment, or a bathhouse along with a number of other married men; she knows that they cannot meet up with women in such places and she only does this to exercise control over him and to stop him from talking about women with his friends and enjoying himself in ways that can do her no harm. It’s the same if she forbids him to look out of his window at a street or a garden frequented by many women, and the same judgment applies to a man if he behaves the same way with his wife. People call such things “jealousy” but in reality they are a form of hatred, or it may be that hatred begins where jealousy leaves off, just as excessive laughter is the first stage of tears. However that may be, a man cannot truly love his wife if he doesn’t allow her to enjoy herself in the way she wants and with whom she wants.’ ‘Does anyone in the world behave that way?’ she asked. ‘Indeed,’ I responded. ‘Many behave so in countries not far from us.’ ‘Good for them,’ she replied, ‘but what about their women? Do they behave the same way with their husbands?’ ‘They have to,’ I answered, ‘to keep things in balance.’ ‘Personally,’ she said, ‘I wouldn’t put up with such evenhandedness. As far as I’m concerned, a tilt is better.’ ‘That’s my opinion too, in certain circumstances,’ I said. ‘And where the circumstances of certain people are concerned,’ she riposted.18
4.2.4
قلت فلنعد الى السفر انى اسافر اليوم * قالت نعم الى بلاد فيها البيض الحسان * قلت اتعنيهم ام تعنيهنّ * قالت اعنى نوعا ويعنينى آخر * قلت ولمَ يعنيك وانتن المطلوبات فى كل حال ولذلك يقال للمراة غانية * قال فى القاموس الغانية المراة التى تطلَب ولا تطلب * قالت ما احسن كلامه هنا لولا انه قال قبل ذلك العوانى النسآ لانهن يُظلَمن فلا ينتصرن * غير ان هذه النقطة شفعت فى تلك * قلت حبكن التنقيط داب قديم * قالت مثل داب الرجال فى التحريف * وكيف كان فان مطلوبيّتنا هى اصل العنآ * فان المطلوبة لا تكون الا ذات العرض والاحصان * فويل لها ان خانت محصنها * وويل لها ان حرمت طالبها وباتت تلك الليلة مشغولة البال بحرمانه وخيبته وبكونها صارت سببا فى ارقه وجزعه وحسرته * والطالبة تعود غير مطلوبة * قلت ليست اخلاق الرجال فى ذلك سوآ * قالت انما اعنى الرجال الذين يطلبون ويكلفون بمن يطلبونه لا اولئك الطَرِفين الشنقين المسافحين الذين دابهم التذوّق والتنقل من مطلوب الى آخر ونفع انفسهم فقط دون مراعاة نفع سواهم * ولكن هيهات هل فى الرجال من يقيم على الوداد ولا يميل عنه كل يوم * لعمرى لو كانت النسآ تطلب الرجال طلب الرجال للنسآ لما رايت فيهم غير مفتون *
“‘Let’s get back to traveling,’ I said. ‘I leave today.’ ‘Indeed,’ she said, ‘—for the lands of the white-skinned beauties.’ ‘Do you talk of men or women?’ I enquired. ‘I talk of one sex,’ she replied, ‘but what worries me is the other.’ ‘And why should that sex be a concern,’ I asked, ‘when it’s you women who, in any circumstances, are the ones pursued, which is why they call a beautiful woman a ghāniyah19?; as the author of the Qāmūs says, “the ghāniyah is a woman who is pursued and does not herself need to pursue.”’ She said, ‘Excellent words, but earlier he says, “ʿawānī20 is a word for women, because they are mistreated and no one takes their side,” though the dot on the one ought to put in a good word for the other.’21 ‘Love of “dotting,”’ I said, ‘is an ancient habit among you women.’22 ‘As “scripting” is among men,’23 she retorted, ‘but be that as it may; our being desired is the root of our worries, for the woman who is desired is by definition a woman whose honor is valued and guarded. Woe betide her then if she betrays her guardian and woe betide her if she denies the one who desires her, for then she will spend the night worrying over having denied him and over his disappointment and the fact that she has become a cause of his sleeplessness, anguish, and sorrow, and the woman who chases men ends up unchased.’24 I said, ‘Men’s morals are not all the same where that’s concerned,’ to which she returned,