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THE COLLECTED PLAYS OF W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM


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      [Looking up quickly.] Have you seen him anywhere?

      James.

      No, I can't say I 'ave. And if I 'ad I wouldn't boast about it.

      Jenny.

      [Insisting.] What did you mean then?

      James.

      Well, whenever I come here he's out for a walk.... I say, old tart, could you oblige me with a couple of sovereigns till next Saturday?

      Jenny.

      [Pained to refuse.] Oh no, Jimmie, I can't manage it. Basil made me promise I wouldn't let you have any more.

      James.

      What! He made you promise that?—Ugh, the mean skinflint.

      Jenny.

      We've lent you so much, Jimmie. And ma's had a lot, too.

      James.

      Well, look here, you can manage a sovereign, can't you? You needn't say anything about it.

      Jenny.

      I can't really, Jimmie. I would if I could. But we've got a rare lot of debts worrying us, and the rent will be coming along next week.

      James.

      [Sulkily.] You can't lend it me because you won't. I should just like to know what Basil spends his money on.

      Jenny.

      He's had a bad year—it's not his fault. And I was so ill after the baby died, we had to pay the doctor nearly fifty pounds.

      James.

      [With a sneer.] Well, it was a wonderful fine thing you did when you married him, Jenny. And you thought you done precious well for yourself, too.

      Jenny.

      Jimmie, don't!

      James.

      I can't stick 'im at any price, and I don't mind who knows it.

      Jenny.

      [Impetuously.] I won't have you say anything against him.

      James.

      All right—keep your shirt in. I'm blowed if I know what you've got to stick up for him about. He don't care much about you.

      Jenny.

      [Hastily.] How d'you know?

      James.

      Think I can't see!

      Jenny.

      It's not true. It's not true.

      James.

      You can't get round me, Jenny. I suppose you 'aven't been crying to-day?

      Jenny.

      [Flushing.] I had a headache.

      James.

      I know those sort of headaches.

      Jenny.

      We had a little tiff this morning. That's why he went out.... Oh, don't say he doesn't care for me. I couldn't live.

      James.

      [With a laugh.] Go along with you. Basil Kent ain't the only pebble on the beach.

      Jenny.

      [Vehemently.] Oh, Jimmie, Jimmie, sometimes I don't know which way to turn, I'm that unhappy. If the baby had only lived I might have kept my husband—I might have made him love me. [The sound is heard of a door being closed.] There's Basil.

      James.

      Good luck to 'im.

      Jenny.

      Oh, Jimmie, take care not to say anything to make him angry.

      James.

      I'd just like to give 'im a piece of my mind.

      Jenny.

      Oh, Jimmie, don't. It was my fault that we quarrelled this morning. I wanted to make him angry, and I nagged at him. Don't let him see that I've said anything to you. I'll see—I'll see if I can't send you a pound to-morrow, Jimmie.

      James.

      [Defiantly.] He'd better not start patronising me, because I won't put up with it. I'm a gentleman, and I'm every bit as good as he is—if not better.

      [Basil comes in, notices James, but does not speak.

      James.

      Afternoon, Basil.

      Basil.

      [Indifferently.] You here again?

      James.

      Looks like it, don't it.

      Basil.

      [Quietly.] I'm afraid it does.

      James.

      [Becoming more aggressive as the conversation proceeds.] Are you? I suppose I can come and see my own sister?

      Basil.

      I suppose it's inevitable.

      James.

      Well?

      Basil.

      [Smiling.] Only I should be excessively grateful if you'd time your coming with my—with my going. And vice versa.

      James.

      That means you want me to get out, I reckon.

      Basil.

      You show unusual perspicacity, dear James.

      James.

      And who are you with your long words, I should like to know?

      Basil.

      [Blandly.] I? A person of not the least importance.

      James.

      [Angrily.] Well, I wouldn't put on so much side if I was you.

      Basil.

      I observe that you have not acquired the useful art of being uncivil without being impertinent.

      James.

      Look 'ere, I'm not going to stand this. I'm as good as you are any day.

      Basil.

      That is a fact I should never dream of contradicting.

      James.

      [Indignantly.] Then what 'ave you got to turn up your nose about, eh? What d'you mean by sneerin' and snarlin' at me when I come here?

      Jenny.

      [Nervously.] Jimmie, don't!

      Basil.

      [With a smile.] You're very eloquent, James. You should join a debating society.

      James.

      Yes, go on. That's right. You seem to think I'm nobody. I should just like to know why you go on as if I was I don't know what.

      Basil.

      [Abruptly.] Because I choose.

      James.

      You can bet anything you like I don't come 'ere to see you.

      Basil.

      [Smiling acidly.] Then I have at least something to be thankful for.

      James.

      I've got a right to come here as much as anybody. I come to see my sister.

      Basil.

      Really, that's very thoughtful of you. I was under the impression you generally came to borrow money.

      James.

      Throw