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THE COLLECTED PLAYS OF W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM


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      I have some whisky, Mr. Bush.

      James.

      Oh, blow the Mister and blow the Bush. Call me Jimmie. I can't stand ceremony. The way I look on it is this. We're both of us gentlemen. Now, mind you, I'm not a fellow to praise myself. But I will say this: I am a gentleman. That's not self-praise, is it?

      John.

      Dear me, no. Mere statement of fact.

      James.

      Well, as I was saying, I know I'm a gentleman. It's a thing you can't 'elp, so what's the good of being proud about it? If I meet a chap in a pub, and he invites me to have a drink, I don't ask him if he's a Lord.

      Basil.

      But you just take it.

      James.

      Well, you'd do the same yourself, wouldn't you?

      Basil.

      I dare say. But will you have a drink now?

      James.

      Oh, bless you, I know what it is to be engaged. I don't want to disturb you canary-birds. Me and 'Alliwell 'll go and have a gargle round the corner. I see you've got a public nice and 'andy. [To John.] I suppose you're not above goin' in there now and again, eh?

      Jenny.

      [With a laugh.] He came into the "Golden Crown" every day of his life, and chance it!

      John.

      I'm afraid I'm in a great hurry.

      James.

      'Ang it all, one's always got time to have a drop of Scotch in this life.

      Basil.

      [To James, handing him the box.] Well, take a cigar with you.

      James.

      [Taking and examining one.] If you are so pressing. Villar y Villar.... What do they run you in a hundred?

      Basil.

      They were given to me, I really don't know what they cost. [He lights a match.] Won't you take the label off?

      James.

      Not if I know it. I don't smoke a Villar y Villar every day, but when I do, I smoke it with the label on.

      Jenny.

      [Laughing.] Jimmie, you are a caution!

      John.

      [Shaking hands with Jenny.] Good-bye and—my best wishes.

      Jenny.

      Thanks. You didn't expect I'd marry Basil when I used to mix cocktails for you in the "Golden Crown," did you?

      James.

      Come on, 'Alliwell. Don't stop there gassing. You'll only disturb the canary-birds. So long, old tart, see you later. Ta-ta, Basil, old man.

      Basil.

      Good-bye—Jimmie.

      [John Halliwell and James go out, Jenny goes up to Basil impulsively.

      Jenny.

      Kiss me. [He kisses her, smiling.] There! Now I can sit down quietly and talk. How d'you like my brother?

      Basil.

      Oh—I hardly know him yet. He seems very amiable.

      Jenny.

      He's not a bad sort when you know him. He's just like my mother.

      Basil.

      [Raising his brows.] Is he? And—is your father like that too?

      Jenny.

      Well, you know, Pa hasn't had the education that Jimmie's had. Jimmie was at a boarding-school at Margate.

      Basil.

      Was he?

      Jenny.

      You were at a boarding-school, too, weren't you?

      Basil.

      [Smiling.] Yes, I was at Harrow.

      Jenny.

      Ah, you don't get the fine air at Harrow that you get at Margate.

      Basil.

      Shall I put down your cup?

      Jenny.

      [Placing it on a table.] Oh, thanks, it's all right. Come and sit by me, Basil.

      Basil.

      [Seating himself on the arm of her chair.] There.

      Jenny.

      [Taking his hand.] I'm so glad we're alone. I should like to be alone with you all my life. You do love me, don't you, Basil?

      Basil.

      Yes.

      Jenny.

      Much?

      Basil.

      [Smiling.] Yes.

      Jenny.

      I'm so glad. Oh, I don't know what I should do if you didn't love me. If you hadn't been kind to me I should have thrown myself in the river.

      Basil.

      What nonsense you talk.

      Jenny.

      I mean it.

      [He passes his hand affectionately over her hair.

      Jenny.

      Oh, you are so good, Basil. I'm so proud of you. I shall be so proud to be your wife.

      Basil.

      [Gravely.] Don't think too well of me Jenny.

      Jenny.

      [With a laugh.] I'm not afraid of that. You're brave and you're clever and you're a professional man, and you're everything.

      Basil.

      You foolish child.

      Jenny.

      [Passionately.] I can't tell you how much I love you.

      Basil.

      I'll try with all my might to be a good husband to you, Jenny.

      [She flings her arms round his neck and they kiss one another.

      End of the First Act.

      THE SECOND ACT

       Table of Contents

       An Interval of One Year Elapses Between Acts I. and II.

      The drawing-room in Basil's house at Putney. In the wall facing the auditorium there is a door leading from the passage. On the right two doors lead into bedrooms, and opposite these is a bay window. The same pictures and plates decorate the walls as in the preceding Scene; the writing-table is between the side doors. Jenny's influence is noticeable in the cushions in the wicker-work arm-chairs, in the window curtains and portières of art serge, and in the huge chrysanthemums of the wall paper.

      [Jenny is sewing while James Bush is lounging in one of the arm chairs.

      James.

      Where's his lordship this afternoon?

      Jenny.

      He's gone out for a walk.

      James.

      [With a malevolent laugh.] That's what he tells you, my dear.

      Jenny.