of us help each other in every degree:
Prefer you my cause, when you are in presence,
To further your matters to the king let me alone in your absence.
Aristippus. Friend Carisophus, this shall be done as you would wish:
But I pray you tell me thus much by the way,
Whither now from this place will you take your journey?
Carisophus. I will not dissemble, that were against friendship,
I go into the city some knaves to nip
For talk, with their goods to increase the king’s treasure,
In such kind of service I set my chief pleasure:
Farewell, friend[21] Aristippus, now for a time.
[Exit.
Aristippus. Adieu, friend Carisophus—In good faith now,
Of force I must laugh at this solemn vow.
Is Aristippus link’d in friendship with Carisophus?
Quid cum tanto asino talis philosophus?
They say, Morum similitudo consuit[22] amicitias;
Then how can this friendship between us two come to pass?
We are as like in condition as Jack Fletcher and his bolt;[23]
I brought up in learning, but he is a very dolt
As touching good letters; but otherwise such a crafty knave,
If you seek a whole region, his like you cannot have:
A villain for his life, a varlet dyed in grain,
You lose money by him, if you sell him for one knave,[24] for he serves for twain:
A flattering parasite, a sycophant also,
A common accuser of men, to the good an open foe.
Of half a word he can make a legend of lies,
Which he will avouch with such tragical cries,
As though all were true that comes out of his mouth.
Whereas indeed, to be hanged by and by,[25]
He cannot tell one tale, but twice he must lie.
He spareth no man’s life to get the king’s favour,
In which kind of service he hath got such a savour,[26]
That he will never leave. Methink then that I
Have done very wisely to join in friendship with him, lest perhaps I
Coming in his way might be nipp’d; for such knaves in presence
We see oft times put honest men to silence:
Yet I have played with his beard in knitting this knot,
I promis’d friendship; but, you love few words—I spake it, but I meant it not.[27]
Who marks this friendship between us two
Shall judge of the worldly friendship without any more ado.
It may be a right pattern[28] thereof; but true friendship indeed
Of nought but of virtue doth truly proceed.
But why do I now enter into philosophy,
Which do profess the fine kind of courtesy?
I will hence to the court with all haste I may;
I think the king be stirring, it is now bright day.
To wait at a pinch still in sight I mean,
For wot ye what? a new broom sweeps clean[29]
As to high honour I mind not to climb,
So I mean in the court to lose no time:
Wherein, happy man be his dole,[30] I trust that I
Shall not speed worst, and that very quickly.
[Exit.
Here entereth Damon and Pithias like mariners.
Damon. O Neptune, immortal be thy praise,
For that so safe from Greece we have pass’d the seas
To this noble city Syracuse, where we
The ancient reign of the Romans may see.
Whose force Greece also heretofore hath known,
Whose virtue the shrill trump of fame so far hath blown.
Pithias. My Damon, of right high praise we ought to give
To Neptune and all the gods, that we safely did arrive:
The seas, I think, with contrary winds never raged so;
I am even yet so seasick, that I faint as I go;
Therefore let us get some lodging quickly.
But where is Stephano?
Here entereth Stephano.
Stephano. Not far hence: a pox take these mariner-knaves,
Not one would help me to carry this stuff, such drunken slaves
I think be accursed of the gods’ own mouths.
Damon. Stephano, leave thy raging, and let us enter Syracuse,
We will provide lodging, and thou shalt be eased of thy burden by and by.
Stephano. Good master, make haste, for I tell you plain,
This heavy burden puts poor Stephano to much pain.
Pithias. Come on thy ways, thou shalt be eased, and that anon.
[Exeunt.
Here entereth Carisophus.
Carisophus. It is a true saying, that oft hath been spoken,
The pitcher goeth so long to the water, that it[31] cometh home broken.
My own proof this hath taught me, for truly, sith I
In the city have used to walk very slyly,
Not with one can I meet, that will in talk join with me,
And to creep into men’s bosoms,[32] some talk for to snatch,
But which, into one trip or other, I might trimly them catch,
And so accuse them—now, not with one can I meet,
That will join in talk with me, I am shunn’d like a devil in the street.
My credit is crack’d, where I am known; but I hear say,
Certain strangers are arrived: they were a good prey;
If happily I might meet with them, I fear not, I,
But in talk I should trip them, and that very finely.
Which thing, I assure you, I do for mine own gain,
Or else I would not plod thus up and down, I tell you plain.
Well, I will for a while to the court, to see
What Aristippus doth; I would be loth in favour he should overrun me;
He is a subtle child, he flattereth so finely, that I fear me
He will lick the fat from my lips, and so outwear[33] me:
Therefore I will not be long absent, but at hand,
That all his fine drifts I may understand.
[Exit.