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Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни


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take the Harley rat up on the _______.

      3. Say if the statements are true or false:

      1. A guy is real drunk and gets home real late.

      2. Trying to avoid the little woman, he parks quite near his home.

      3. He quietly opens the door and tiptoes into the room.

      4. When I get drunk I go borrow my bud's F-16 and go screamin' up and down my block a couple of times.

      5. I take the Harley rat up on the porch.

      6. I slam open the door and scream, «I'm the man of the house.»

      7. My wife is always away.

      4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

      5. Translate from Russian into English:

      1. Он снимает свои ботинки, когда идет по лестнице.

      2. Он тихо открывает дверь и идет на цыпочках в комнату.

      3. Он получает удар сковородой.

      4. Его лучший друг печально качает головой.

      5. Так вот как это делаю я.

      6. Я гоню Харлея прямо на крыльцо.

      7. Я с грохотом открываю дверь и кричу.

      8. Моя жена всегда спит.

Revise English Grammar

      Грамотная английская речь, как и речь русская, подчиняется огромному количеству правил, в том числе и правил стилистических. Избегая нарушения этих правил, мы говорим правильно. Вместе с тем в разговорной речи встречается огромное количество нарушений стилистической нормы.

      Так, следующие предложения содержат одну и ту же конструкцию – причастный оборот, относящийся к подлежащему. Но в первом случае этот оборот использован правильно, во втором – с нарушениями.

      1. Trying to avoid the little woman, he parks a block away from his home…

      2. Telling the story to a friend the next day at the local watering hole, his best friend sadly shakes his head…

      Найдите, в чем состоит нарушение правила (при затруднениях обратитесь к грамматическому комментарию; раздел 18).

      6. Transform the sentenses according to the rules when necessary:

      1. Having got drunk, the guy came home real late.

      2. Trying to avoid the little woman, his car is left a block away from his home.

      3. Walking up the stairs, he tries his best not to make a noise.

      4. Opening quietly the door and tiptoeing into the room, his wife hits him by a frying pan.

      5. Telling the story to a friend the next day at the local watering hole, his best friend sadly shakes his head.

      6. Taking the Harley rat up on the porch, I start screamin' and a cussin'.

      7. Slamming open the door and screamin', his wife is always asleep.

      7. Find English equivalents to the Russian words in the scanword:

      1. (а…) избегать, 2. (t…) идти на цыпочках, 3. (b…) брать взаймы, 4. (1…) местный, 5. (m…) беспорядок, 6. (е…) выставка, 7. (е…) возбуждение, 8. (f…) парень, 9. (а…) обезьяна, 10. (s…) без рукавов.

      8. Render the joke.

      Section 16

      Control of your wife

      There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they had over their wives, while the third remained quiet.

      After a while one of the first two turned to the third and said, «Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?»

      The third fellow says, «I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.»

      The first two guys were amazed. «Wow! What happened then?» they asked.

      The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!' "

      Study the words and expressions given below:

      control контроль, власть

      pub паб, пивная

      amount объем, величина

      to remain оставаться

      swallow глоток (пива, воды, вина)

      healthy swallow большой глоток

      beer пиво

      to sigh вздыхать

      to utter произносить

      to fight сражаться, драться

      Get out! Убирайся! Вылезай!

      after a while через некоторое время

      what sort of? какого типа? какого вида?

      the other night на днях вечером

Exercises to the text

      1. Answer the questions to the text:

      1. How many guys were there in the pub?

      2. What did they drink there?

      3. What were two of them talking about?

      4. What question was the third guy asked?

      5. In what way had the third guy's wife come to him one of the nights?

      6. What did she say to her husband?

      2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

      1. Two of the guys are talking about the _______ of control they had over their wives.

      2. The third guy _______ quiet.

      3. After a _______