Джоэль Чендлер Харрис

The Tales of Uncle Remus / Сказки дядюшки Римуса. Книга для чтения на английском языке


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almost popped out of his head and they been that way ever since. This was the last time his mouth was going to get him into something his feet couldn’t do.

      He landed on Earth and waited a few minutes to make sure he had all his parts[8] and they were in working order. Then he looked around. The first thing he saw was Mr. Man’s garden. It was filled with green peas, lettuce, cabbage, collard greens, and sparrow grass. Over in the field were sheep, cows, goats, and pigs. Brer Rabbit’s mouth started trembling and dribbling at the same time.

      He went up to Mr. Man’s house, knocked on the door, and said, “I got a message for you from Sister Moon.”

      “What is it?”

      Brer Rabbit thought for a minute. “She say, ‘I’m getting weak; I got no strength. I’m going to where the shadows stay.’”

      Mr. Man got indignant. “Tell Sister Moon I said, ‘Seldom seen and soon forgot[9]; when Sister Moon dies her feet get cold.’”

      Brer Rabbit nodded and took a long jump back up to Sister Moon. He told her what Mr. Man said. Sister Moon was angry. She hauled off and hit Brer Rabbit with a shovel and split his lip. Brer Rabbit don’t take no stuff off nobody[10] and he clawed and scratched Sister Moon. And to this day you can seek the marks – rabbits have split lips and the face of the moon is all scratched up and got holes in it.

      Brer Rabbit went and told the animals about all the vegetables and sheep and goats and fat pigs he’d seen on Mr. Man’s place. They decided right then that Sister Moon was on her own from now on.

      They took the long jump and this is where they’ve been ever since.

      How Brer Fox and Brer Dog Became Enemies

      When the animals started living here on Earth, something seemed to happen to them. Where before they had gotten along with each other[11], now they started having little arguments and disagreements. It was only a matter of time before they weren’t much different from people.

      Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit were sitting alongside the road one day talking about much of nothing[12] when they heard a strange sound – blim, blim, blim.

      “What’s that?” Brer Fox wanted to know. He didn’t know whether to get scared or not.

      “That?” answered Brer Rabbit. “Sound like Sister Goose.”

      “What she be doing?”

      “Battling clothes,” said Brer Rabbit.

      I know you don’t know what I’m talking about. You take your clothes to the Laundromat, or have a washing machine and dryer sitting right in the house. Way back yonder folks took their clothes down to the creek or stream or what’nsoever, got them real wet, laid’em across a big rock or something, took a stick and beat the dirt out of them. You don’t know nothing about no clean clothes until you put on some what been cleaned with a battlin’ stick.

      Well, when Brer Fox heard that Sister Goose was down at the stream, his eyes got big and Brer Rabbit knew his mind had just gotten fixed on supper. Brer Fox said he reckoned he better be getting home. Brer Rabbit said he supposed he should do the same, and they went their separate ways[13].

      Brer Rabbit doubled back[14], however, and went down to the stream where Sister Goose was.

      “How you today, Sister Goose?”

      “Just fine, Brer Rabbit. Excuse me for not shaking hands with you, but I got all these suds on my hands.”

      Brer Rabbit said he understood.

      I suppose I got to stop the story, ’cause I can hear you thinking that a goose don’t have hands. And next thing I know you be trying to get me to believe that snakes don’t have feet and cats don’t have wings, and I know better[15]! So, if you don’t mind, you can keep your thoughts to yourself and I’ll get back to the story.

      After Brer Rabbit and Sister Goose had finished exchanging the pleasantries of the day, Brer Rabbit said, “I got to talk with you about Brer Fox. He’s coming for you, Sister Goose, and it’ll probably be before daybreak.”

      Sister Goose got all nervous and scared. “What am I gon’ do, Brer Rabbit? My husband is dead and ain’t no man around the house. What am I gon’ do?”

      Brer Rabbit thought for a minute. “Take all your clothes and roll ’em up in a nice clean white sheet and put that on your bed tonight. Then you go spend the night up in the rafters.”

      So, that’s what Sister Goose did. But she also sent for her friend, Brer Dog, and asked him if he’d keep watch that night. He said he’d be glad to.

      Just before daybreak Brer Fox creeped up to the house, looked around, eased the front door open and slipped inside. He saw something big and white on the bed. He grabbed it and ran out the door. Soon as he jumped off the porch, Brer Dog came out from under the house growling and scratching up dirt. Brer Fox dropped that bundle of clothes like it was a burning log and took off! It’s a good thing, too[16], ’cause it had taken Brer Dog four months to find somebody who could wash and iron his pajamas as good as Sister Goose, and he wasn’t about to let nothing happen to her.

      Next day when the news got around that Brer Fox had tried to steal Sister Goose’s laundry, he couldn’t go nowhere for a week. Brer Fox blamed Brer Dog for spreading the news through the community, and ever since that day, the Dog and the Fox haven’t gotten along with each other.

      “Hold ’im Down, Brer Fox”

      Brer Fox couldn’t prove it, but he knew Brer Rabbit had warned Sister Goose he was coming, and he made up his mind to get even[17]. Brer Rabbit got word about what Brer Fox was thinking on, so he stayed away from his regular habitats for a while.

      On this particular day he was somewhere up around Lost Forty and saw a great big Horse laying dead out in a pasture. Or he thought it was dead until he saw the Horse’s tail switch.

      Brer Rabbit went on his way, but who should he see coming toward him but Brer Fox!

      “Brer Fox! Brer Fox! Come here! Quick! I got some good news! Come here!”

      Brer Fox didn’t care what kind of good news Brer Rabbit had. The good news was that he had found that rabbit! Just as Brer Fox got in grabbing distance, Brer Rabbit said:

      “Come on, Brer Fox! I done found how we can have enough fresh meat to last us until the middle of next Septerrary.”

      Brer Fox, being a prudent man, thought he should check this out. “What you talking about, Brer Rabbit?”

      “I just found a Horse laying on the ground where we can catch him and tie him up.”

      Sounded good to Brer Fox. “Let’s go!”

      Brer Rabbit led him over to the pasture, and sho’ nuf, there was the Horse laying on the ground like he was waiting for them. Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox got to talking about how to tie him up. They argued back and forth for a while[18] until finally Brer Rabbit said:

      “Listen. I tell you the way we do it. I’ll tie you to his tail and when he tries to get up, you can hold him down. If I was a big strong man like you, I’d do it, and you know, if I was to hold him, he would be held. But I ain’t got your strength. Of course, if you scared to do it, then I reckon we got to come up with another plan[19].”

      There was something about the plan that Brer Fox didn’t like, but he couldn’t think of what it was. Not wanting Brer Rabbit to think he wasn’t strong and brave,