Verlander moves on to the E’s and F’s…
“Rochelle Findlay.”
Told you so!
“Thomas Fulton.”
Varsity football and basketball co-captain.
From what I heard, Tom’s also Betsy Sheffield’s date for the Homecoming Dance next Saturday night.
Personally, I can’t stand the guy. Him and Max used to be all buddy-buddy when we were at Webster and early on at Webb. In fact, this one time in 7th grade, me and Max and Jack went over Tom’s house, and we called this phone-sex party line pretending we were girls. If I remember correctly, Tom did a pretty good job talking-the-talk to the guys on the other end…Hmmm?
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit Tom’s a decent-looking guy. Now that he’s traded his horn-rims for contacts, started lifting weights, and dressing designer. Right now, he’s got on a heather lamb’s wool sweater over a white Polo shirt with button-down collar, and snug-fitting charcoal slacks. I see he’s also got a new haircut—sorta long and flippy in front, short around the sides and wedged in back. And of course, beautiful blue eyes, a totally perfect smile, square jaw and dimples…See why I hate him?
Now for the G’s…
“Stacy Gillespie.”
Woo–hoo!
Stacy is my very good friend from French III Independent Study. ’member the girl Mrs. Carey gave her teacher’s edition last year with all the answers? If I wasn’t a homo, I think I’d totally be in love with her. She’s sooo tiny and cute with her short dark hair and chestnut brown eyes. Not to mention she’s super stylish and super smart. Except I don’t think either one of us is gonna learn much taking French III as an Independent Study. Since Mrs. Carey’s not there to preside over us, most of the time we end up sitting around shooting the shit.
By the time I finally spot Stacy amongst the student body, Verlander’s telling us to “Quiet down, people,” so he can move on to the next name…
“Jonathan Glowicki.”
Another Varsity football and basketball player.
“Jamieleeann Mary Sue Good.”
Like I said, Jamie is Senior class president. Not to mention Varsity cheerleading captain, secretary of National Honor Society, and don’t forget Chorale. She’s got a beautiful voice. Last year we did a duet at the spring concert, “Friends & Lovers,” by Gloria Loring and Carl Anderson—Liz Chandler-Curtis from Days of our Lives, and the original Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar.
Jack doesn’t notice me watching him, but I can totally tell he’s sweating bullets waiting for Mr. Verlander to get to the P’s. He’s all dressed up in his navy blue slacks, matching cardigan over gray mock-turtleneck shirt. I know he’s expecting something to happen soon. For his sake, I hope his name gets called. I know how much Jack wants this.
“Fay Keating.”
The other co-captain of girls’ Varsity basketball.
Very sporty and very popular, Fay’s another Freshman-year-transfer from St. Mary’s back at Webb. She’s a totally great girl, but her taste in guys hasn’t always been the best. I’ll never forget she went to the Carnation Dance with Guy Huckabee, this Total Jerk. When I stopped them on the dance floor to take a picture, Guy just gave me this look like, She’s with me, you fag!
Whatever…
I still have the photo. I just tore Guy outta it.
“Pamela Klimaszewski.”
You can bet Max is drooling all over himself when Pam (and her tits) stand up in the row right behind me. I look over my shoulder and give her a wink. I can’t help but notice she’s got her arms folded across her chest—to hide her rack, no doubt!
Poor Pam…I totally love her. I just think she’s got a thing about her boobs. I guess maybe she’s sorta shy. I mean, she sings alto in Chorale, but I don’t think I ever heard her actually sing anything. Since I first met her in Mrs. Malloy’s Sophomore English, she’s always reminded me of a dishwater blond Molly Ringwald. Her boyfriend is this big cross-country champ, Stan Blume. He graduated from HPHS this past June, and is off at Michigan State on a scholarship.
Next, the L’s, M’s, N’s and O’s…
“Donald Olsewski.”
Another Band Fag?
Well, wonders never cease!
Don plays drums and he also DJ’s at most of our school dances. I don’t know him too well, but he seems like a good guy. I’m pretty sure him and Jack were friends back at Longfellow. In fact, Don and his mom live right down the block from the Paternos on Shevlin in Hazel Park. He’s not bad looking, either. He reminds me of Christopher Reeves—I mean, Reeve—from Somewhere in Time. Only Don’s got shoulder-length hair and isn’t nearly as built as Superman.
Now for the P’s…
“Penelope Page.”
I’ll never forget Penny. She’s the girl I smoked my first cigarette with. A Marlboro Red, back in the winter of 8th grade, in the Jehovah’s Witness parking lot. I felt like a bad ass!
“Joseph Palladino.”
Based on his looks alone, Joey’s gotta be a contender for Homecoming King. Except if he wins, Jack will just die.
Speaking of…
His name should be next.
Fingers crossed!
“Nathaniel Richelieu.”
What the fuck?
I mean, I’m happy for Nate—he’s got great hair and awesome ankles. But what happened to Jack Paterno? Mr. Verlander must’ve made a mistake and skipped a name. Or maybe the alphabetical got outta order?
“Elizabeth Sheffield…Marie Sperling…Tonya Tyler.”
Varsity cheerleader…Vikettes co-captain…Chorale.
Finally, Mr. Verlander concludes with the U’s, V’s, W’s…
No Class Clown, Audrey Wojczek?
And the X’s, Y’s, and Z’s.
Outta all my friends, I’m the only one to make “Top 25”?
I can’t fucking believe it!
And from the looks of it, neither can Jack.
Across the auditorium, I see him slump down in his seat, looking like he’s gonna cry…
So am I.
What the fuck is wrong with the fucking people at this school?
Jack Paterno is the smartest guy in our class. Not to mention he’s cuter than most of the so-called popular boys. Not that I think he’s cute—he’s like the brother I never had. But there’s no denying Jack is attractive.
So what if he’s not hot, like Rob Berger or Joey Palladino?
He’s still my Best Friend.
Kiss Him Goodbye
“He’ll never love you
The way that I love you…”
—Bananarama
You are not gonna believe what happened.
‘member how I was supposed to go over Audrey’s house to help her and Tuesday Gunderson with their scene from Gamma Rays? Well, I did. As per usual, the three of us wound up talking more than we did working on anything. In fact, the girls ran thru the scene all of once, I gave them some notes, and they called it quits.
“Who do you think’s cuter: Will Isaacs or Allen Bryan?” It never failed. All Tuesday Gunderson