tomorrow. I know it totally sucks what happened, but everybody would like to see you there (me, Audrey, Ava, Carrie, etc.) As we always say, “It will be fun!”
It’s our SENIOR year, Jack. I’d hate for you to miss out on this night. Promise me you’ll think about it, please?
Your Best Friend forever,
Brad
PS—Write back and let me know what you decide.
Either Jack never got the letter or he intentionally ignored my request. Thirty-three hours later, I still haven’t heard from him.
On my way up to the high school, I stop by his house. Maybe I can talk some sense into him in person. At least I hope I can.
Standing outside the door to Jack’s bedroom, I dread what’s about to happen next. How many times in the past have I knocked, thrown back the accordion-fold, and found my Best Friend happily waiting inside? I don’t know why, but I feel this won’t be the case.
“Like sands thru the hourglass…”
On the other side, I hear the voice of Macdonald Carey reciting his Days of our Lives spiel. Rather than giving Jack the opportunity to ask who it is and tell me to get the fuck out, I open the door. The familiar scent of the room hits me full force, making me a tad melancholy.
Jack sits up on his bed, looks over his shoulder. He says nothing once he realizes it’s me.
We exchange some casual pleasantries…
“Hey, Jack…I was in the neighborhood so I thought I’d stop by.”
“Nice suit.”
“I borrowed it from my sister Janelle’s fiancé, Ted…”
I’m not complaining, it’s a nice navy blue suit with pinstripes, but I’m swimming in it. Lord knows I can’t afford to buy my own, just to wear to some stupid dance. Especially since I didn’t get crowned Homecoming King at the football game last night.
That honor went to my favorite person: Tom Fulton.
Surprise, surprise!
Wanna know who his Queen was?
None other than my Chorale partner: Jamieleeann Mary Sue Good.
Add another credit to her resumé!
Standing in Jack’s room feels foreign to me, even though I spent sooo much time here the past five years. I notice he moved his bed from where it used to rest against the side wall to over beneath the window. The same one we once climbed out on the night Jack went with me and Luanne down to Heaven.
For a second, I consider asking him why he never wrote me back, but I decide to be the bigger man. “I was wondering if you might wanna meet me after the dance…I thought maybe we could go down to the bar together or something.”
Jack asks if I think Shellee Findlay’s gonna get pissed at me for skipping out early. I remind him she’s my “Top 5” partner, not my date. Besides, Shellee’s got a boyfriend, Kyle Henke. He graduated in ’87, drives a Corvette, and thinks he’s LL Cool J, even though he’s Caucasian.
“I don’t think I’m up for the bar tonight,” Jack declines.
“Okay…Maybe we can go out next weekend instead?”
Again he refuses. “I shouldn’t be spending a lot of money.”
We stand in silence a moment.
“You’re not still pissed about the whole ‘Top 25’ thing, are you?” I ask, taking a seat on his bed. “Why are you letting it bother you so much, Jack?”
He gives me a look, like I just asked the dumbest question ever.
“All I ever wanted since we got to high school was to be on ‘Top 25,’” he informs me, even though I already knew this. “God knows I deserve it a lot more than those other guys…But because they’re all popular, people vote for them.”
“Would you stop whining for a minute and listen to yourself?” I ask, interrupting his rant. “You know ‘Top 25’ doesn’t mean anything…Nobody cares if you’re on the list or not.”
“Easy for you to say,” he spits. “You’re the one wearing the sash.”
In the five years me and Jack been Best Friends, I think this is the meanest thing he’s ever said to me. What did I do to deserve this treatment?
“You know I had nothing to do with the votes, Jack,” I calmly remind him. “I just about shit my pants when they called my name for ‘Top 5’!”
Jack rolls his eyes. “You weren’t the only one.”
Okay, I tried.
I get up and head towards the door. As I reach out for the handle, I decide to make one final attempt at patching things up. “I thought you’d be happy for me,” I say, turning back. “But you don’t even think I deserve to be on ‘Top 5,’ do you?”
Jack responds with something about the movie Carrie. Does he really think I’m gonna get pig’s blood dumped on me at the dance? No wonder he took up writing…Jack Paterno has got the most overactive imagination of anybody I know!
“Just because people don’t like you, Jack,” I snarl, “doesn’t mean they don’t like me…We’re not the same person.”
His jaw drops. “You think those Jock Jerks at school really like you? Wake up…The only reason they’re even nice to you at all is because your sister Janelle is totally hot and they all wanna fuck her!”
Like the woman in the “Bob and the Kids are Dead” joke, I’ve had enough.
“Fuck you!” I shout, temper rising. “It’s one thing to insult me—I’m your Best Friend, I’ll forgive you…But do not talk that way about my sister, okay?”
I barely comprehend what Jack says next, I’m so pissed. Something about the reason he won’t ever go to parties is because Tom Fulton and all the other Jock Jerks hate him.
Defeated, I throw my arms up. “What reason could anybody have not to like you?”
“That’s what I wanna know!” Jack explodes. “What have I ever done to deserve being treated like this? It’s not like I’m the one going out to gay bars all the time.”
Now we’re getting somewhere!
So that’s what this is really about? The fact that I’m a Big Fag so I can’t possibly deserve to have any friends or even be considered for Homecoming King?
“Your being the way you are has nothing to do with this,” Jack answers, after I confront him.
“Yes, it does!” I snap. “You’re jealous because people like me, even though I’m gay.”
At this point, Jack starts rambling on about me wanting to be a famous actor someday and aren’t I afraid people will find out I’m gay? Not to mention what happened with Rock Hudson dying from AIDS, which is the dumbest thing I ever heard! Until Jack mentions something about spending the last five years of his life busting his ass to convince people he’s (quote-unquote) normal.
I repeat, “Normal?” This is the biggest insult yet. “You think I’m not normal?”
“That’s not what I meant…But it’s your choice.”
Strike three!
“Being gay is not a ‘choice’ you can make.” For a straight-A student, I’m surprised by Jack’s ignorance sometimes. “You either are or you aren’t.”
I realize he’s been going thru a rough patch ever since the whole Joey Palladino/letter from his mom incident. But that happened like a year and a half ago…Get over it!
Remembering what Mr. Dell’Olio told us in Drama the other day about trying