System life. How to organize life to cope with uncertainty and achieve results without burnout
of Kasta’s song «Way higher». Its meaning can be described roughly as «Dry bread at home is better than roast meat abroad.» I think this phrase was invented by the most important boss of people with a fixed mindset. Of course, it is better that there are no such people around you. Surround yourself with people who will pull you up. Life is already full of people who want to pull you down.
People with a growth mindset are diametrically opposite. The mindset of growth is based on the fact that any skill or competence can be developed. That everything can be achieved if you figure it out and act. People with such a mindset will think like this:
• Nothing is predetermined, everything depends on me;
• If you try, you will definitely succeed;
• Mistakes are not scary, it’s an experience;
• You need to learn new things in order to use new approaches;
• I don’t care what people think, I’ll try;
• I can achieve anything, it’s a matter of resources and skills.
It turns out that all people are divided into a kind of pessimists and optimists, confident and insecure people. Most people who call themselves «pessimists» or «skeptics» are afraid of failure. Therefore, they choose comfortable pessimism. There are no trials and problems in pessimism. As well as there is no growth and development. Many people usually say that they are not pessimists, but realists and just soberly assess the situation. That they have already had experience, and they know how it will be. Therefore, it is better not to go into something that you do not understand, it is better not to take risks. Such people are not confident; they did not draw conclusions from the failure and gave up. They usually work well for those who are confident. Insecure people are easier to manage, give loans, use for their needs. Some pessimists even understand this and try to get out with the help of silver bullets: courses, trainings and marathons. They are taught there to visualize, look for motivation, say «yes» to everything and praise themselves in front of the mirror. But it doesn’t help, because it doesn’t change the mindset.
«A pessimist is first of all a homeless person. To be an optimist, you need to work hard»
To make steps towards growth, you need a growth mindset. To change the mindset, you need to work hard on yourself. It’s funny that every person has a growth mindset from birth. Look at the children, they are super confident. They try to get up and walk. They fall, but they get up and go. No one develops learned helplessness; no one thinks that it is painful, shameful and scary. They just do it. They just don’t understand a lot of things that adults understand. But look at the omniscient adults, most are not sure about anything.
«Everyone knows that this is impossible. But here comes an ignoramus who does not know this – he makes a discovery»
Before graduating from university, I was such a child with a growth mindset. Thanks to Mom. She has always said since childhood that I am the best, and I can do anything. I never thought about the fears of failure and did not doubt myself. But after university I acquired pessimism. When it turned out that no one needed a diamond like me without work experience, I became more and more pessimistic. I didn’t know what to do. I was feeling blue and I was ready to accept any job. Working at the factory, I stopped believing that I could achieve something. I didn’t even think about what I wanted, and I didn’t make any plans for life. Finally, my wife did not let me get bogged down in this swamp. Sometimes her critical thinking can’t stop in time, and she may start to worry, but she has always been against pessimistic views. She is exactly the person who knows how to enjoy life and enjoy the moment. She was probably assigned to me so that I wouldn’t go crazy for unknown merits in my past life. She was just talking to my negative thoughts: «Why do you think that? What facts are your thoughts based on?» I immediately rushed into the argument, explained to her that she did not understand anything. But every time it turned out that I had no arguments. I was just winding myself up with negativity and generating problems that might not have happened. I was engaged in forecasting and was sad. Then I was captured by a fixed mindset. I was afraid to solve difficult tasks, I wanted to justify my inaction with barriers and to absolve myself of responsibility.
Our brain contributes to the consolidation of a fixed mindset. It always overestimates threats, underestimates opportunities, and downplays the resources you have. Therefore, it is very important to analyze your mindset for parasitic thoughts. They limit growth. They keep you from taking a step that can change your life. Although this step doesn’t have to be big. It may be microscopic, but you will not dare to take it, because you are afraid of even a small risk. All people are biologically equal, but they develop differently. There are no genes of genius and super intelligence. There are only your thoughts that limit or trigger actions. You can continue to complain that something is not given to you. Or you can just start learning something new, try, experiment and improve yourself. If you notice a fixed mindset in yourself, then urgently understand this topic. Better put my book aside, read «Mindset» by Carol Dweck and then continue. Without the growth mindset, useful information will be blocked, there will be no trust in it, and you will be forever looking for a silver bullet. System life is an exoskeleton for the growth mindset. You just need to start implementing it, and you will see that you are also capable of a lot. The whole book is written so as not to give you precedents for fixing a fixed mindset. So that you approach any changes, challenges or problems boldly and do not feel fear. Without any «what if, what if», etc. So that there is no doubt about achieving the result, and there is confidence that you will not give the back.
Motivation and vector
Today, the Internet is full of videos and articles about how to look for motivation. Supposedly there is «you» and your «goal», but there is no motivation. You really want something, but you don’t do it. You would love to, but there is no motivation. And the puzzle does not add up in any way, and the movement towards the goal does not begin. There are many definitions of motivation. I like it when motivation is called a natural emotional state that encourages action. Because the key word here is «natural». Whatever definition you come across, the essence of motivation is the same – if you don’t want something, then you won’t do it. And if you want, then you will do it. Of course, if there are no insurmountable or time constraints. This is all you need to know about motivation and its nature. You need to figure out what you want and why, and not look for a button that will kick you in the ass so that motivation is revealed. If motivation needs to be sought in a special way, then how can we watch TV shows without it, spend money on junk food or go to the dentist. Everything happens by itself. Invisible forces are activated, prompt to action and do not calm down until there is a result. These invisible forces are called stimulation and motivation.
Incentives stimulate, not motivate, that’s the big difference. Incentive (Latin. stimulus) is a stick of an elephant driver or a sharp metal tip on a pole, which is used to drive a bull. In scientific terms, it is a strong motivating moment; an internal or external factor that causes a reaction, an action. In physiology and psychophysiology, this concept is identical to the concept of irritation. Everything is clear here. The stimulus is like a stick that hits us on the back. It causes pain and discomfort, from which you want to run away. And motivation is the desire to satisfy the significant needs of a person. Otherwise, we can say that these are the true desires of a person. What exactly he\she wants. These processes are not a secret development of information gypsies or a method of unscrupulous coaches. They exist exactly as long as people exist, and are conditioned by basic human needs. What was the main human need when people ran with clubs through forests and lived in caves? Protect yourself, survive and continue the race. This task was carried out and is being carried out by the instinct of self-preservation. In every person, it manifests itself in the form of escape and curiosity. Escape is an incentive to avoid danger, and curiosity is a motive to learn and master new things for adaptation and survival. In a group, the instinct