her cheeks. She shook herself, glanced at him with wide, panicked eyes and then began to sputter, “Mom G. I…can’t—You can’t possibly expect…”
Josh tightened his fingers around Rachel’s.
She ignored him. “We can’t make a promise like that.”
Josh applied more pressure. “Rachel, we can do this,” he said with deliberate slowness.
Her head snapped toward him, her expression thunderous. “What?”
He was not going to argue with her in front of Mrs. G. It was bad enough that she was balking. He refused to subject Mrs. G. to the tempest that was about to explode. Because, like it or not, he was going to make sure she agreed. He couldn’t let her live with the kind of regret that plagued him. He lifted Rachel’s hand away from Mrs. G.’s. “We need to discuss this outside.”
Rachel stared at him mutinously. “There’s nothing to discuss. It can’t be done. I live thousands of miles away, Josh.”
He smiled tightly at Mrs. G. “We’ll be right back.” He tugged on Rachel’s hand. She pulled against him but finally stood and jerked her hand from his grasp.
“Fine,” she snapped, her expression softening as she looked at Mrs. G. “You’ll be okay?”
Mrs. G. blinked. “Of course.”
Rachel strode out of the room. Josh watched her go. She’d become quite a formidable woman. He normally chose to defuse confrontational situations long before they came to a head. That skill made him a good manager of the forestry team he was responsible for. But he found a part of himself looking forward to seeing the sparks fly, to being a part of the controlled energy that was Rachel.
Filled with anticipation, he winked at Mrs. G. before following in Rachel’s wake, confident he could manage her.
Rachel’s head was going to explode. Anger raged, pounding at her temples. She couldn’t make such a promise. She wouldn’t lie to Mom G. How dare Josh even consider promising something he had no intention of fulfilling?
She rubbed at her temples, trying for a calm that was proving elusive. She could control her emotions. She was a doctor, a professional, standing in a hospital corridor, after all. She wouldn’t cause a scene.
But the second Josh stepped into the hall radiating confidence, she whirled on him, her vow to remain calm pushed aside. “What was that all about? What are you trying to do?”
Rachel paced away from Josh in an effort to cool her temper.
Unruffled, he stated, “Trying to make Mrs. G. happy.”
She screeched to a halt. “By lying to her? You think that’s going to make her happy? Is your conscience out to lunch?”
Josh held up a hand. “Whoa, you need to calm down.”
“Calm down?” She didn’t appreciate him pointing out the obvious. Unfortunately her reserve of cool and collected was suddenly lacking. And it was Josh’s fault. Something about the man he’d become caused her to lose her self-restraint. She didn’t like being this out of sorts. It was too much; she felt too vulnerable.
She needed calm. She needed to breathe. In slow, out slow, find the calm. “We can’t make that promise.”
The dark green of his button-down shirt magnified the intent look in his eyes. “We said we’d do anything for her.”
“But…not this. Are you out of your mind?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to live regretting that I didn’t do everything I could to make Mrs. G. happy.”
His words struck her with sharp bites of guilt. “I want to make her happy, too, but I can’t do this.”
His expression hardened. “How difficult would it be for you to set your feelings aside for a moment and do something for her?”
She drew back, stung. “I’m not being selfish, Josh. I’m being realistic.”
His look said he didn’t believe her.
“Think for a second, Josh.” Her hand gesturing wildly. “Your life’s here. My life’s in Chicago. And I’m leaving as soon as Mom—”
She froze. She widened her eyes and she covered her mouth with her hand as she realized what she’d almost said. A tremor assaulted her body. The reality of the situation hit her full force. No matter how good the medical care, Mom G. was going to die. Sooner rather than later.
Just like her mother had.
No! This was different. Her mother hadn’t received the best care possible. Mistakes had been made, inadequate procedures followed. None of that was happening with Mom G. It was God’s decision. He was in control.
She squeezed her eyes tight and fought the tears building, clogging her throat. She didn’t want Josh to see her like this. She hated this feeling of utter helplessness.
God, I need you. I can’t face this on my own.
She heard Josh let out an exasperated groan. Then his arms came around her, pulling her to his chest. She stiffened in shock. The odd combination of his woodsy-and-spice scent filled her head, evoking images of Christmastime. She longed to melt into his big broad chest and partake of the comfort being offered.
She didn’t want his comfort. It hurt too much because it came from pity, not affection, but she couldn’t deny the warmth soaking her through, making her conscious of every point of contact between them, every bunching muscle, every beat of his heart.
She swallowed her tears and broke away from him before she gave in to the attraction building between them.
Bereft of his warmth, she wrapped her arms around her middle. Focus, Rachel, focus. “What had Mom G. asked us to promise? To take care of each other. It wasn’t like she was asking us to get married.”
“Right.” Josh’s voice drew her attention.
She hadn’t realized she’d spoken her thoughts out loud. “But how?”
“I don’t know, but we’ll figure out a way.”
She stared down the hall. Maybe Josh had a point. It could be done. Through telephone calls, Christmas cards, e-mail. They could take care of each other long-distance. In ways that wouldn’t wreak havoc on her life. Or his.
She straightened to her full height, still only barely reaching his shoulders. “You’re right. We’ll find a way. We can do this.”
He smiled approvingly. “Yes, we can.”
She resented how good his approval felt.
As Rachel swept by him and back into Mrs. G.’s room, Josh took a moment to recover from the shock of seeing Rachel almost shatter. It tore him up inside to know she hadn’t completely accepted the eventuality of Mrs. G.’s death. Rachel was trying so hard to be strong. Behind her controlled exterior was a woman struggling against death and grief. He understood why Mrs. G. wanted his promise. When Mrs. G. died, Rachel was going to need an anchor to hold on to because the arctic storm brewing within her would be overwhelming. Whether he liked it or not, he would be there for Rachel because he’d promised.
Mom G. stared up at Rachel with anxious eyes. Taking her hand, Rachel sought to reassure her. “We promise to take care of each other.” Rachel glanced at Josh next to her. His smile was pensive.
“Thank heaven.” Mom G. relaxed into the pillow for a moment and then looked at them with worried eyes. “I need one more thing from you both.”
Rachel braced herself. What more could she want from them? What more anguish would she have to suffer in Josh’s presence?
Josh chuckled softly. “Whatever you need, Mrs. G.”
“Rachel, you need to eat. You’re too thin. Josh take her to get something