TABLE TALES. Richard Alther

one, are easier than pies. They slice beautifully and make a festive presentation. Restaurants would go broke taking the time for cakes and all elaborate desserts, but serving one such as this delights and makes your party truly memorable. If you don’t have a stand mixer you’re going to be working as hard as your grandmother did. If you cannot find fresh ginger (pale, light skin, juicy) versus tough-looking old ginger root, best to postpone this cake for another occasion.

       Set oven with a middle rack to 350°. Draw two circles on parchment paper using one of your two 9-inch round pans; cut out the circles. With soft butter grease the two pans, fit each with a parchment circle, and butter the top of these as well.

       Using two large bowls: sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt into one bowl, sift the mix again into the second bowl, and then a third time into the first bowl. Set aside. Place the butter in the stand mixer bowl and beat on medium speed until creamy, less than a minute. Slowly add the sugar with the mixer running, now and then scraping down sides of bowl. Add lime zest and beat until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Drizzle in the eggs and continue beating. Finally add the ginger until incorporated.

       On low speed fold in one-third of the flour mix, next add half the milk, another third of the flour, the rest of the milk, and then the last third of the flour. Divide batter between the two pans, smooth the tops, and bake for about 35 minutes. An inserted toothpick should come out clean and dry. Cool baked cakes for 10 minutes on racks, loosen cakes with a dull knife, and insert upside-down onto the racks to cool completely before frosting. Cakes can be baked a day or two ahead, wrapped well in plastic wrap, and kept in fridge. Or they can be frozen, thawed the day before in the fridge, then brought to room temperature on the day of frosting and serving.

       FOR THE FROSTING

      1½ cups macadamia nuts, toasted and chopped. Bake at 350° for about 10 minutes on a single cookie sheet and watch them like a hawk, as with all nuts toasted. Better under baked than over. Set aside and chop when cooled. Raw nuts in a health food store are best, or use the ones salted in a jar but still toast them. Save 3 or 4 nuts for decorating.

      1½ cups (2 ¼ sticks) unsalted butter at room temperature

      1½ pounds chilled cream cheese, NOT non-or-low fat

      3 teaspoons vanilla extract

      Salt, pinch

      4½ cups sifted powdered sugar

       TIME SAVER

      If cake is left over, it freezes well: With a very wide metal spatula, carefully slide the cake and center it on a piece of stiff cardboard that you’ve covered with foil, smooth side up. Wrap loosely with plastic to seal it, and then cover it all with foil as well. This caution prevents freezer burn. If you’re keeping the remnant cake in the domed cake holder, it will be good in the fridge for several days. When you bring it out a few hours before serving, put a small teacup or ramekin of water inside; it will make the exposed edges more moist.

      This makes A LOT of icing, but it’s key to frost the middle layer generously, with plenty for the sides and top as well. Have more than you need, I say, rather than less.

       Beat butter at medium speed until fluffy. As noted above, you need a stand mixer to make this dessert and others FUN instead of labor. Add the cream cheese, vanilla, and salt and beat at low speed just until smooth, a minute at most. Scrape sides and add 1-1/2 cups of powdered sugar and beat on low until just incorporated. Add another 2 cups of the sugar – more or less – to a nice spreading consistency. Adjust with half-and-half or cream, and/or more sugar. Finally, add the macadamia nuts and mix evenly.

       Use the frosting at room temperature, right away or stored in the fridge a day ahead. Equip yourself with a good flexible spatula for frosting, especially the kind with an angled blade. Assemble cake on the bed of a domed cake holder with its high lid, unless you want to present it before slicing on a fancy platter. I used to do that until it became too showy; I’d rather plate it in the kitchen and serve the beautiful slice so it, individually, gets the attention.

       Place first layer flat-side up, generously frost, place the second layer also flat-side up. Immediately frost sides of cake to seal it together with a “first draft.” Frost the top and then go back and embellish the sides. Finish icing the top, and decorate with curly lime zest and bits of crystallized ginger. Add a few macadamia nuts for the center if you saved them.

      This cake is a big deal, and it’s worth it. You can do the whole thing when you’re inspired in advance and freeze, weeks ahead. You and your guests will never have had ginger dished up like this.

       HOSPITALITY TIP

       Someone exclaims at the door holding a wine bottle aloft: “Ray! Rich! We brought this unbelievable Pinot Noir. From one of only fifty cases, a Robert Parker ninety-seven, you must serve it tonight.”

       “Thanks so much. You’re too generous. But all the reds are open and breathing. We’ll have it tomorrow, savor every sip by ourselves and toast you with no distractions.” (I don’t believe they were invited back.)

      Ginger Layer Cake

      “I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.”

      – JULIA CHILD

      CHAPTER TWO

       Alcoholics Not Anonymous

      At most of our dinner parties there is at least one non-drinker for whom we stock non-alcoholic wines, beers, sparkling cider, flavored seltzers, and so on. Sometimes a friend will start with such and have a glass or two of wine at dinner. Sometimes in the reverse. No big deal.

      Conversely, we have a friend, sometimes another, who gets soused. One guy, Hank, is a happy drunk – never a foul word, and then he just crashes, silent at any table but upright. Everyone understands; there are plenty of others to take up the slack in conversation. Hank is like the few smokers left in our fold for whom Rich places ashtrays – all outdoors of course and in convenient spots. “I think of these friends as an endangered species,” says Rich. “Not many around anymore, and if that’s their choice, well, at least make them comfortable as our guests.”

      Maybe every group of friends has a Hank. His spouse drives. He’s fun while he lasts. I’m part Irish so I can say it: It may be in the genes and beyond control.

      “I’m sorry, Ray,” says Peggy, Hank’s wife at their last gathering with us, interrupting a lively debate about the use of American coal. “Hank is about to smash into your beautiful china.”

      “And Riedel goblets,” says Anne. “His chin is so tucked into his neck it’s like he’s channeling a pelican.”

      “Not funny,” says Peggy. “God, what am I going to do?”

      Hank is now seriously slumped, snoring, with spittle dripping from his open mouth.

      Sobered, I stand, as does Rich. We grab Hank under the arms, haul him to his feet, stagger him to the guest room, return to the table of grateful guests – Peggy especially relieved, and say to all assembled before I take my seat:

      “That’s it. Dearest Peggy, Hank is not invited back until he, or you and he, gets his act together. We are not amused, and by the way,