TABLE TALES. Richard Alther

taste. As simple as this sounds the sweet/sour combination really works. An alternative might be to combine the Dijon mustard with a cranberry jam. Use your imagination. Make the sauce the day ahead.

      Turkey (or Pork) Tenderloins

      Spinach Squares With Shallots and Swiss Cheese

       (FOR 8)

      3 packages frozen chopped spinach

      4 large shallots, diced

      3 tablespoons olive oil

      1½ cups finely grated Swiss cheese

      Egg Beaters 1 cup, or 6 beaten eggs

      salt to taste

      non-stick cooking oil spray

       TIME SAVER

      This spinach dish can be made earlier in the day, or even the day before, and reheated just before serving.

       Thaw frozen spinach by simmering in 2-3 cups water. When thawed, drain thoroughly and lightly press out extra water. Place in large mixing bowl. Sauté shallots in olive oil until soft and just beginning to brown. Add to spinach. Mix the spinach, shallots, ¾ cup grated Swiss cheese, and the egg beaters until well blended. Add salt to taste.

       Into a 9 x 13-inch metal or glass baking dish, which has been coated with the non-stick oil, spread the spinach mixture evenly over the dish. Sprinkle remaining cheese over the top. Bake in a 350° heated oven for 30 minutes, or until beginning to brown on top. Remove from oven and cut into squares for serving.

      Caramel Pecan Chocolate Sheet Cake

       FOR THE CAKE

      1½ cups raw pecans, toasted, roughly chopped (so as not to get lost in the eating)

      3 cups all-purpose flour

      2 cups sugar

      ½ cup unsweetened natural cocoa

      2 teaspoons baking soda

      1 teaspoon salt

      ¾ cups of good vegetable oil

      2 tablespoons white vinegar

      2 teaspoons vanilla extract

      1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

      1½ cups commercial caramel or butterscotch sauce, commonly available.

      You can make your own but it’s too much effort and no more of an impact on the final result. (One 17oz. jar “Mrs. Richardson’s” = 1 ½ cups)

       WHIPPED CREAM

      more than you’ll need but I like to serve more than a “dollop”

      1 pint (2 cups) heavy cream

      4 tablespoons powdered sugar

      2 teaspoons vanilla extract

       TIME SAVER

      This cake freezes beautifully for weeks properly wrapped in foil. Consider doubling the recipe and freezing in small packages for several meals.

      This cake is basically a brownie that Ray and I regard as having morphed into something more sumptuous, with a middle layer of toasted pecans and caramel. The recipe that follows is for a 9x13 pan and can easily serve a dozen, but I often double or triple it for larger gatherings. Slice and plate it from the pan in the kitchen. The sweetened whipped cream dished alongside is important for contrast, heightening the rich chocolate. Dot the whipped cream with one or two whole pecan halves that you’ll be toasting.

       Preheat oven to 350° with a middle rack. Grease a 9 x 13 pan with soft butter.

       Toast the pecans at 350° for about 10 minutes; keep an eye on exposed edges to best judge the start of slight browning. Chop when cooled, saving some whole sections for later decorating.

       Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt into a large bowl and whisk. Add 2 cups of water, the oil, vinegar, and vanilla and beat by hand or with an electric beater until well blended. Electric is easier; the batter is almost taffy-like.

       Measure about 3 cups of the batter into the pan, smooth the top, and bake for 15 minutes, which sets the top. Remove pan to your work area and evenly scatter the chocolate chips and chopped pecans. Drizzle with the caramel sauce and then cover with the remaining batter, bringing batter with a spatula to the very edges of pan. Continue to bake the cake for about 35 minutes, until – as always with a cake – a toothpick comes out clean not gooey. Also beware overly-browning edges; that’s another clue to stop baking.

       Cool cake on a wire rack and leave at room temperature until party time. Can be made a day or two ahead, tightly wrapped, and stored in fridge. It freezes well, so do it weeks in advance if that works best. Thaw it in the fridge the day before, and leave it out for a few hours before serving.

       Whip the cream with the powdered sugar and vanilla. Store in fridge in tight container until serving time.

      This dessert is straight-forward and very easy to produce, considering the pleasure-factor, which is always huge.

       HOSPITALITY TIP

      We prefer round or oval tables to foster eye contact among all guests when the conversation on occasion entices everyone. That way, it’s possible for two friends not seated close by to make at least some sort of cross-table connection by dinner’s end.

      Rich never has his flower and candle arrangements higher than 8 to 10 inches so no one – even the shortest – cannot be full-frontal facially and completely included. Often, at Christmas especially, a few of the florist-wannabe’s (atheists, even!) can get carried away with the archangels and gauze.

      “People have tried and they have tried, but sex is not better than sweet corn.”

      – GARRISON KEILLOR

      CHAPTER THREE

       The Wardrobe Malfunction

      DORIS is petite except in one way, well really two. She’s built like Dolly Parton without the wig.

      It’s a fantastic summer day in Vermont, meaning it’s suddenly steamy, humid and sultry like the rest of the nation. Women friends coming to our porch dinner party will finally have a chance to wear that sexy number with spaghetti straps, or a colorful Indian print floor-length frock that might see the light of day twice a decade. And gay male hosts, unlike their husbands, will actually notice. And rave about.

      Angela has seized upon the occasion to sport a violet sombrero like those outrageous chapeaus worn by the upper class ladies at Wimbleton and royal weddings. Meanwhile, her husband is in sandals, baggy shorts and a rumpled polo shirt – such a guy.

      We’re all in manic good spirits but part-way through dinner the decibel level is noticeably lower. And then it comes to a halt. One half of Doris’s ample endowment (please, in au naturale Vermont, there is no Hollywood augmentation) has slipped out of her bodice. And there it