Relationship Building & Sexual Awareness for Kids with Autism. Susan Heighway

They may lack information or education about sexual abuse.

       They may have been socialized to be compliant or passive and often have a strong desire to please.

       They may lack the opportunity to develop healthy social relationships.

       They may lack basic knowledge and understanding about how to safely use social media.

       Section 2:

       A S∙T∙A∙R∙S Model

      The S∙T∙A∙R∙S model originated through our efforts to design a training program for teaching basic personal safety skills to avoid sexual abuse. As we began working with individuals, we quickly learned that the issues of sexual abuse were connected to other issues, such as the person’s self-esteem, assertiveness, understanding of sexuality, and opportunities to develop healthy relationships.

      We recognized the need to teach and support positive expression of sexuality in addition to facilitating the learning of skills to prevent sexual abuse. Equally important were the environments in which people spent their time and the attitudes and values of family, teachers, caregivers, and the community at large. The realization of the complexity of the issues people were facing led us to develop our S∙T∙A∙R∙S model as a more comprehensive or holistic training model.

      In our S∙T∙A∙R∙S model, we present a “building blocks” approach to training about the complex areas of sexuality and abuse prevention. Each content area offers concepts that are built upon in the next content area. For example, many of the activities in the “Assertiveness” section build upon content and behaviors that are acquired in all three of the previous content areas. The S∙T∙A∙R∙S model has four areas, with specific content areas in each:

       Understanding Relationships

       Building a positive self-image.

       Identifying people in one’s life as family, friends, acquaintances, community helpers, and strangers.

       Learning behaviors that are appropriate for each type of relationship.

       Social Interaction

       Approaching, responding, and conversing with people in different settings and situations, including social media.

       Expressing preferences and making choices.

       Building friendships.

       Engaging in more mature relationships.

       Recognizing options for relationships into adulthood.

       Building a strong foundation for adult relationships.

       Understanding the responsibilities of parenthood and the pros and cons of having children.

       Sexual Awareness

       Building a positive self-image and sexual identity.

       Identifying as male or female.

       Identifying body parts and understanding their functions.

       Understanding the difference between public and private behaviors.

       Differentiating between inappropriate and appropriate touching.

       Understanding the emotional and physical changes of puberty.

       Understanding sexual feelings and behaviors.

       Understanding reproduction.

       Examining societal norms and values regarding sexuality.

       Learning about sexually transmitted diseases.

       Discussing other health issues related to sexual awareness.

       Assertiveness

       Increasing self-empowerment through words and actions, including responding to bullying.

       Recognizing a situation as potentially dangerous.

       Learning to say no and to use basic self-protection skills.

       Knowing how and where to get help at home, at school, and in the community.

       Reporting sexual exploitation or abuse.

       Assessing the Needs of Children or “Figuring out What to Teach”

      Parents and teachers often wonder when, what, and how they can teach a child with a disability about sexuality.While we believe it is essential to take the time to figure out what each youth needs to learn, we have not developed a specific “assessment tool” for children and youths in S∙T∙A∙R∙S 2. (Refer to the original S∙T∙A∙R∙S guidebook for two assessment tools—“The Sexual Attitudes and Knowledge Assessment” and the “Sexual Abuse Risks Assessment”—that are useful for older adolescents and adults with disabilities.)

      We suggest that parents and teachers begin to approach the topic of sexuality for children with disabilities in a similar way it is approached for children without disabilities. One helpful resource is How to Talk with Your Child About Sex: Help Your Children Develop a Positive Healthy Attitude Toward Sex and Relationships