Susan Heighway

Relationship Building & Sexual Awareness for Kids with Autism


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2 activities were developed for youth with autism or other developmental disabilities. Children, from preschool age to adolescents in high school, can benefit from its content. We also believe that the information presented here is valuable to all children and could be effectively used in settings in which children both with and without disabilities are learning together.

       Co-ed or not?

      Groups can be co-educational or organized separately for girls and boys. We have found that co-ed groups emulate the “real world.” Such groups enhance role-playing and other activities and foster an appreciation for human development and sexuality issues in both sexes. The content area and/or the comfort level of the instructor may influence whether the instruction is done for a co-ed group or not. If the adult facilitator is comfortable, even gender-sensitive issues, such as menstruation and condom use, can be taught and discussed in a co-ed group. Sometimes, girls and boys may feel more comfortable learning some content separately. For example, we believe that both girls and boys can benefit from learning about and seeing menstrual hygiene products; however, some of the more explicit discussion and demonstration about their use may best be done with girls only. For each area, use your judgment about what will work best for you and your participants.

       Number of Youths in the Group

      We recommend that the size of the group be small (four to eight youths). Size will depend on the individual needs of the participants, participants’ learning styles, and the capacity of group leaders.

       Number and Frequency of Teaching Sessions

      Information should be shared at a pace that is comfortable for the group or individual. The pace will vary with the age and learning style of the youths. For children, having sessions at least two times per week usually works well for continuity of content.

       Involvement of Parents

      Whenever there is instruction on human sexuality for minor children and youths, it is best to involve parents or guardians at the outset. If you are offering sexuality education as part of a school human growth and development curriculum, become familiar with the guidelines, which were established by the school board for your school district regarding parent or guardian involvement. A sample parent letter is included in the Appendix (page A-3).

      Some instructors offer to meet with parents individually or as a group to review content. This not only informs parents about the content of the training but can promote continuity and reinforcement of the training at home. Sometimes, a parent group meets concurrently with the youth group to clarify and discuss content and concerns that are pertinent to sexuality.

       Instructional Methods

      In general, information that will be presented to youth with disabilities will be the same as that for other youth, except it is presented in simpler words, at a slower pace, and with much repetition. Any information that you share with an individual child must be presented with methods that are best for teaching that child. For example, it may be helpful to break the content down into the simplest concepts; use simple language; or use visual aids, such as pictures, drawings, or a Social Stories™ format.

      We suggest that a variety of instructional methods be used, such as individual and group instruction, simple workbook activities, art, songs and games, puppets, “Social Stories™,” and role-playing. Anatomic dolls, photographs, and line drawings are the most effective methods for identifying reproductive body parts. Group discussion and question and answer sessions are the most effective techniques for problem solving. Social skills are best taught through “real life practice,” role-playing, and group discussion. Lecturing is the least effective method because participants may lose interest if they are not actively engaged.

      For some activities, we may refer to specific resources (e.g., slides). Effective teaching can happen even if you don’t have access to the latest technology. Some of the best teaching tools are creatively made with common materials and are tailored to the individual child.

       Me and My World Scrapbook

      Pages of this scrapbook are located in the Appendix and can be copied for each child. The materials can be adapted for a child of any age with age-appropriate stickers or artwork. There are specific suggestions for using the scrapbook in the “Activities” sections. When completed, youth can keep it as a scrapbook about themselves. The scrapbook can be periodically reviewed with youth, either formally or informally, to reinforce concepts that were learned in the group format.

       Role-playing

      Role-playing is a particularly effective technique because it involves the active participation of children, giving them an opportunity to try out and rehearse new behaviors and identify and change inappropriate behaviors. Peer feedback and coaching give the youth who observe the role-play exercise an opportunity to learn the concepts by asking them to judge and identify the strengths and needs of the role players.

      A potential drawback of role-playing is that, at times, it can become too “real” for some children. For example, when someone is acting out a situation in which he or she is angry, a participant may believe that the person really is angry. And when role-playing a threatening situation, a participant may become truly frightened. It is important to keep reminding role players that it is only make-believe. Another drawback is that role players may get too caught up in the fun of role-playing and work at being good actors rather than focus on learning the concepts being taught.

       Activities in the Natural Setting

      Children and youth benefit most from this program when time is spent reviewing content and practicing skills related to the sexuality education training program in their natural settings. If trainers are not available for this individual work, other persons in the participant’s support network could carry out this training activity. This time can be used to practice and reinforce skills and knowledge covered in the group meeting and focus on issues identified for each child. At the end of the “Activities” section for each of the four content areas, an “Informal Activities” section is included.

       Circle of Friends

      All children benefit from having friends and being part of a social group. Children with disabilities often need the same level of direction and support in making friends as they do in other areas of their lives. We are learning more about individuals with autism spectrum disorder and their common human desire for friendships; that is, even though they may not appear interested in others, they have a desire for social connections. “Circles of Friends” is one way of expanding and enhancing friendships for children.

       How it works:

      1. Make a list of peers without disabilities with whom the focus child has contact during the day. Contact may occur in mainstreamed classes, peer tutoring, recreation or sports, passing from class to class, recess, or lunch. Peers can be identified through observation; by asking the focus child; and by talking with teachers, classroom aids, or other school personnel.

      2. Note the quality of interactions, and identify a shorter list of potential friends. Try to include one or two peers with whom the focus child may have shared interests, such as music, art, computers, video games, and sports. Social media, when used with safeguards, can be a useful tool for organizing a Circle of Friends.

      3. Talk to each of the potential peers about Circle of Friends. Explain that its purpose is to help the focus child make friends and feel more connected with school.

      4. Select the peer or peers who demonstrate the greatest interest in being involved for inclusion in the Circle.

      5. Ask the peer or peers to identify three to five of their friends who might know the focus child or who might be interested in joining the group.

      6. Invite four to six peers to an introductory meeting. Collect more information about the youths’ schedules, daily routines, and interests. Brainstorm possible activities and outings.

      7. Circles usually meet about