Learn A Man Earn A Man
Sharp Advice For Women
"Get Him ... Keep Him"
Learn his heart, earn his commitment,
The mysteries of how men think,
whether
Husband, Lover or Friend with benefits.
by
Barry Fletcher
Foreword by
Donnie Simpson
Copyright 2011 Barry Fletcher,
All rights reserved.
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-0177-5
All rights reserved. Printed in the U.S.A. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher.
We at Barry Fletcher Products hope you enjoy this book, a product that connects truth with your real needs and challenges. This book was not written as a tutorial or guidebook. The views expressed are the opinions of the author.
Published by Barry Fletcher Products
6304 Marlboro Pike
District Heights, MD 20747
Visit our website for more information:
All photographs are used by permission. First edition.
ISBN: 9781-61658-270-8
Library of Congress Control Number: 2010905899
Also by Barry Fletcher:
Why Are Black Women Losing Their Hair?
Hair is Sexual
Foreword
By Donnie Simpson
Radio and TV Host
Throughout his illustrious, ever-changing career in cosmetology, Barry Fletcher’s ideas and techniques have had a major impact on the way we look at beauty and hair fashions. Next to Vidal Sassoon and Paul Mitchell, he has trained and influenced more hairdressers than anyone in the industry. Barry could have rested on his laurels years ago, after winning a Rolls-Royce in 1985 or becoming the first African American to win a position on the U.S. Hair Olympics Team with a black model in 1994. His work could be seen on countless celebrities and magazine covers. He started his own hair care product line in 1992, wrote the book Why Are Black Women Losing Their Hair? in 2000 and Hair is Sexual in 2003. Fletch, as many of his friends call him, is a true visionary. He is always in front of the wave and on the beach chillin' by the time the tide brings everyone else in. I have always found Barry to be very inspirational and I’m honored that he wanted me to be a part of his vision by writing this foreword.
Barry is an ardent bachelor, so my wife won't allow me to hang with him much, but I have always felt that he had a keen eye for life and compelling conversation for the ladies in particular. We have been friends since 1987 when he first cut my hair and I noticed his enthusiastic awareness of his social environment. He spoke about relationships with a certain knowledge and confidence that can only come from experience. He never was one for perpetrating or pretending and stayed true to his beliefs for socially coexisting. It’s not surprising that he decided to take on the hefty task of clarifying men’s thoughts about relationships.
After 30 years of working with men and women in the community, he has become an incredibly popular and influential personality. Fasten your seat belt, and prepare for an emotional roller-coaster ride. I’m sure you’ll find this book enlightening, truthful, disturbing, poetic and entertaining. Barry Fletcher is about to let you get out in front of the wave too. Hold on, surf's up.
Acknowledgments
Gye-Nyame Na Obeye…Only God can do it! I thank Him for blessing me with two wonderful parents who formed and shaped the man I am today. May they rest in peace.
I would like to acknowledge and express my gratitude to those who contributed to my journey and the creation of this book:
- My family, friends and clients for their agape love and support,
- Donnie Simpson for his gracious Foreword,
- Jon Perkins and Amy Alexander, my editors,
- Marcille Moss for helping me in so many ways… I will always remember,
- Big sis Gloria Jean Jackson for her tireless proofing,
- K. Michael Jordan for his help with Boys to Men, and Anthony Nutt and Kenn Blanchard for their help with If Jesus Were One of Us,
- Floyd Kenyatta, my consultant,
- LaShawn Hackley, Marie Little and Concha
Johnson for proofing,
- Damond Andrews for the cover design,
- Andras Spiegel for the book design,
- Margarita Sweet, Quincy Richardson, Robin Murphy, Doreen Price, Joycelyn Bacchus, Sharon Smith, Dr. Monica Crawford Roberts, Liana Robinson, Michelle Shackaford, Otelia Simon, Gregory Jones, Tonya Cook, Brigetta Weatherington, Lelia Pray and Marcus Gray for their feedback,
- Legend models: Eniola Eboda, Gavin Webb, Moses Mario Sourec, Mel Jones and Karl Jones. Models: Bill Madison, Francis Stewart, Gregory Quadebaum, David Somerville, Dennis Schoonmaker, Matt Butler, Rabon Hutcherson II, Antwan Monroe, Stephen Hinton, and Jovite Nguembou.
- Miracles Photography Studio. Special thanks to the wonderful staff at Barry Fletcher Products and The Hair Palace Salon.
Please extend your prayers and blessings to master hair designer Larry Massenburg as he recovers from surgery.
I am forever grateful!
Back cover autographs (clockwise from top left): Halle Berry, Tina Turner, Dr. Maya Angelou, Senator Carol Moseley-Braun, Donnie Simpson, Chaka Khan, Miki Howard, Super Model Iman, Mary J. Blige, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Eartha Kitt and Patti LaBelle (center)
Preface
I’m tired of men bragging about how they’ve lied, tricked or misled their wife or girlfriend into thinking they have a happy relationship, while secretly fearing what would happen if the whole truth were to be revealed. You may not like everything a man does, you may not always like the way he makes you feel and you may not like everything I say, but I’m here to give you the truth as I know it. I’ve gained insight into how men think and their triumphant efforts to please, pleasure and prosper with a woman. It’s not always pretty. Ladies, it’s time for you to develop a strategy for approaching relationships: mind over emotion. When your emotions get ahead of your reasoning, you become vulnerable to the very hurt you seek to avoid. Can we talk honestly?
When a man makes you feel more like the lady you aspire to become, that’s probably a good time to consider investing in his potential. As you’re attempting to judge his character, how do you discover his virtues? Times are changing and you may need to change your approach, rather than settling for the incompatible men who approach you.
Since 1940 women have outnumbered men in the United States and there’s no telling what kinds of insecurities men are dealing with these days. It’s going to take a little effort from you. I must admit that I have my own trepidations about marriage and commitment. My ears bleed a lot from other people's stories and since I’m constantly under pressure for answers, I decided to do some more