Michael thinks is right, or what?
When the answer came to me, all annoyance with the voice disappeared. The answer was to do what was right for Michael. I was starting to hate doing what was right especially when I got gypped in the process of doing that right thing. I needed to stop the current that was sweeping us away – a tall order and contrary to what I really wanted.
I slowly pulled my arms out from around his neck and wedged them between me and his chest. I needed to put some space between us. Like I said, I’m a slave to my principles.
Wow, that was a long kiss. With my hands flat on his chest, I pushed out and away from me. He was immovable; I put more force into my effort and had to gradually add more and more force until finally Michael ended the kiss. I didn’t know if it was because of my pushing or if it were the natural end to his kiss.
As soon as his lips were away from mine I wanted them back but I knew the ‘kiss back’ would only work if he was at rest and relaxed, so I used the space Michael created when he ended the kiss to get a clear head.
“Michael,” I whispered. “Please hold me tight. Help me stop the progression of the reconnect.” I knew that he didn’t want to and I’m sure he knew that I didn’t really want to but I needed for it to stop.
Michael laid his entire body on top of mine and removed all support. It felt like a heavy blanket was thrown over me. As he went limp and became a dead weight, I wrapped my arms around him and held tight and then didn’t move. I could feel his breathing on my face and neck. His breath was sweet and the musk scent was back mingled with the wild honeysuckle. Lordy, it was a heady combination and one that could derail my best intentions. Like I hoped it would, the calm returned.
“Michael that was difficult to come back from.”
But Michael wasn’t hearing well just yet. He needed more time. We continued in our immobile state for minutes more before Michael rolled off of me and held my hand and then finally hooked pinkies.
We took our deep sighs and synchronized our breathing; we gained control once again.
Neither of us said a word as we lay there allowing the calm and balance to return. Our sighs were simultaneous and the pull that wanted to complete the connection lulled into an intense desire and then to gratitude and then to a focused concern for each other.
Michael found the remote control and flipped through the channels looking for what, I didn’t know. I felt like crying again but just concentrated on our breathing – actually on Michael’s breathing. It was pleasurable to hear his intake of breath - steady and even like mine.
There was apparently nothing on TV that interested him as he clicked off the power and tossed the remote onto the night stand.
There was silence for a long time. We were in our own heads.
“I’m sorry.”
I heard Michael whisper.
“I shouldn’t have done that. But in my defense, who knew the connection would take over?”
I felt like arguing that we both knew the connection would take charge. We both knew what this odd entity would contribute to the ridiculously insistent pull to ignite our passion. What we didn’t know was if we could stop it – now we knew.
“You are a slave to your principles and I guess I’m a slave to my libido.”
“There’s no need to apologize. We’re in this together and I allowed it – no I encouraged it. I wanted it, too. I wanted you and still do.”
Then I added, “I’m not mad about it, as a matter of fact, I’m proud of us. We were on the brink but were able to pull ourselves back. We’ve gained more than a modicum of control. The process was painful and made we want to cry again.”
“I was completely into it; I was lost in the moment. I felt you taste me when you sucked on my tongue – a move I’ve never experienced before. It was awesome but will take quite an effort to recall due to how completely lost I was.”
He was quiet for a moment, thinking of the experience, I’m sure he was trying to bring it to his mind so he could lay it out to look at and examine every angle. Well, anyway that would be me.
When I could tell that he was thoroughly relaxed I asked, “Well, do you think I can have my kiss back now?”
Michael pulled himself up onto one elbow and looked at me. “I felt you kiss me back.” His eyes were puzzled.
“Oh, that was just me participating in your kiss. This would be my kiss back, my control.”
“Helen,” he said as he thought about what he should do.
“I don’t think, after what we just went through that’s a good idea.”
“We just proved that we can handle this and I’m not about to let you go back on your word.”
He knew there was a chance that we couldn’t stop it. His worry, his concern was for me – knowing how important my principles and vows were to me. He wrestled with the idea of going against my wishes and breaking his promise. He told me so. I ignored his fears and positioned myself for the kiss back.
“This is my kiss, Michael please resist the urge to take control. During this kiss you’ll feel a change. When you do, please don’t pull apart from me, instead lean into me or touch me with your hands. I need us to stay together.”
He smiled and said, “Ok, you’re in control, I can handle that.” I hoped he could.
I put his lower lip between my lips and tugged gently, and then I slipped my attention to his upper lip – gliding up and a bit sidewise. It was difficult to keep my concentration when I felt the softness of his lips. It was so nice, so completely sexy. I snaked my tongue into his mouth. At first I just tasted him and felt the strength of his tongue trying to get involved. I froze – he stopped – I continued. Caressing the inside of this upper lip, I gauged how far I would need to explore before I found the vulnerable spot. “A ha!” I thought there it is. At first I just explored around it but I didn’t want Michael to get aroused before he was ready so I sped up the process. My tongue began to massage the membrane – a slow easy manipulation – back and forth in a circular motion.
I knew it worked when I felt Michael stiffen slightly then lean into me, putting his left hand on my breast. His orgasm was intense – he moaned an ‘Oh my God’ moan and at that point was in no condition to take control away from me. He rode those spasms and clung to me almost as though he were frightened. I enjoyed his predicament when I heard his soft guttural sighs and endearing whimper. When all the shaking and convulsions ceased I still held control over his lips. I pulled my mouth from his after I puckered and finished with a sweet smooch.
We just laid there, our bodies touching but nothing hooked up. Our breathing was deep and fast but still in unison. As I lay there I wondered if Michael was yet free of me, free of the pull of the connect.
After a time Michael said, “We should probably do that again. That was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. All I could think of was how much I loved you and wanted to return the feelings. I felt you stop and then I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to take control.”
“From what I’ve been told, it’s a one time deal, plus, it’s supposed to be a surprise.” He frowned when I gave him that news.
“Well, we should try it anyway just to make sure. It’ll be your turn next. I can’t wait to try.” He was animated and happy.
I was still waiting for him to come to his senses and walk away from me, but helping him give the kiss back could be an interesting experience, one I’d take part in.
“If we are going to try it again, we need a break. I’m starved; let’s order lunch and go out to the balcony; I’m getting withdrawal pangs for the balcony.”
“I’ll order and then we could have a catch.” Michael suggested.
“Before