is like the Theory of Relativity – the more you think about it, the harder it gets.
~Author Unknown
When discussing perceptions of gender differences, two heads are better than one. We’re of course referring to two minds, male and female, not two penises!
We wanted to look at why “the pecker” gets so much attention in our society. Freud drew lot of attention to it through symbolism and metaphors. Throughout the years, society and cultures have been obsessed with the pecker, both figuratively and literally.
Ever wondered why the rooster is referred to as a “cock”? Why, when it in no way, shape or form resembles a penis? And what about putting a stallion out to “stud”? Stud? Is stud not a pecker?
Ever watch pro baseball or football and hear young pitchers referred to as studs, or linebackers and running backs referred to in the same way? Sure, a football player wears a helmet potentially resembling the head of a penis, but they don’t look like penises.
What about the dildo? (We’re of course referring to the rubber ones and vibrating sticks purchased from the sex shops.) Why does anything that vibrates carry the connotation of a pecker? A woman buys a “vibrating massage apparatus” and instantly her friends associate “vibrating” with “dildo”. Let’s not get carried away folks; sure size matters, but how many ladies feel like holding a pulverizing jackhammer between their legs?
Conversely, when a guy purchases an electric massager it remains what it is and what it is intended for. Men do not giggle and smirk when they talk about their electric massagers.
Perhaps you are familiar with the terms impotency and sterility? Oftentimes impotency and sterility get tossed together and misinterpreted to mean the same thing in the bedroom. But what do these terms mean?
For starters, when the dude can’t get an erection he is impotent. Or, if he can get up, the intensity and duration of the erection is not sufficient. Neither his lover nor himself are impressed. He undoubtedly has “performance anxiety” too, which exacerbates the problem.
Sterility is when a man fires blanks. He can do the job but not complete the deal when it comes to procreation. His boys have forgotten how to swim, don’t know how to swim, or they’ve gone MIA (missing in action).
Impotency and sterility can also be applied to a man’s performance outside the bedroom. They often mean the same thing for a man who is no longer on top of his game! Women tend not to be referred to in the same manner. Why? Because they are “pecker” terms! They are of the masculine nature.
Hollywood and the media are perhaps the biggest culprits for exploiting the pecker to make a buck or two. More jokes and innuendos are made about the penis than any other body part.
Yet, if the world is considered to be a “man’s world”, why do men allow their peckers to be made fun of? In fact, men often make sarcastic remarks and jokes about their genitals. And guess what? Most times, they are the ones laughing the loudest!
Have you ever read the book or watched the movie A Clockwork Orange? Without giving away the story, there is one thing people remember most, the giant dildo!
In the movie, the dildo is larger than life. In many ways it exemplifies Freud’s fascination with the male phallic. There are many metaphors linking the giant penis and the main character, Alex, to male domination, potency and sexual deviance.
How many pop music and rap songs have the male genitalia as the central tenet? When both male and female genitalia parts are referred to in the song, which of the two carries more power and prestige?
♂
Now, masturbation. Perhaps one of the most tell-tale aspects of the pecker is exemplified by the act of masturbating. Break down the word and what do you get? For you Hitchcock fans who came up with Master Bates, that wasn’t our innuendo!
The point we are trying to make is that the “master” in masturbates is a masculine term. Master denotes boss, superiority and manliness. Men are, as Jerry Seinfeld put it, “The master’s of their domain!” They determine when to keep the gun in its holster and when to pull it out and polish it. Some women might assert this is the sexual act men are best at because they do it so much!
But did you know that just as many women masturbate? Does this not make them masters as well? Perhaps the gender correct term is mistress?
Nonetheless, male masturbation is something men usually don’t talk about publicly. The assumption is that if you are masturbating then you are not getting enough female love and attention. Ouch! Just discussing the notion that you are the master of your pecker implies a sense of lacking.
When most men are asked, “Do you masturbate?” they adamantly deny it, change the subject and deflect the attention back to the questioner. To even go there and talk about masturbating habits with one another is very taboo. For a man to share his masturbating habits and techniques is even worse. It creates an even greater vulnerability. In essence, it robs them of their potency. They are impotent if they masturbate!
Women on the other hand attend fantasia parties. They go to lingerie parties. They like to talk about relationships and sex. For women to discuss masturbation is not taboo. It does not render them desperate, lacking or impotent. Why? They don’t possess a pecker!
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Over a decade ago, a woman, Lorena Bobbitt, cut off her husband’s penis while he was sleeping and then threw it into a field. Luckily, someone found the penis and medical professionals were able to re-attach it. When the news and late night talk shows got a hold of it, they were relentless in their reporting. Men cringed whenever they heard about the incident.
Today, people still bring it up and laugh about it. Though, more women than men, it seems, make jokes about it. Yet no one laughs or makes jokes about mutilated clitorises or nipples.
Why? Because it’s not funny. Women aren’t perceived as the potent ones. They don’t have a pecker.
In some ways the pecker is seen as a separate entity from the rest of its owner, as if the pecker has a life of its own. Some men might even claim it does when they get caught with their pants down. There’s an old adage that’s appropriate: “Think with the head on your shoulders and not with the one between your legs!”
For good or for bad, the penis gets too much personalization from both men and women. Some men and women give the penis an affectionate name, thus reinforcing its separate identity, metaphorically and psychologically detaching from its rightful owner. In Bobbitt’s case, it literally was!
The pecker even has a status bordering on mythological. As long as collective wish of gals is “bigger is best” and the guys dream of just being “bigger”, then the pecker will continue to have this status. When the mythological giant is slewed, cut off and removed, it’s as if the David has defeated Goliath.
Some of the most telling instances of the mythical status of the penis can be seen in the “Adults Only” stores and XXX chocolate products. When was the last time you saw chocolate breasts or vaginas?
By far, the bestselling chocolate body parts are lips and penises. Women buy chocolate penises, on the whole, because it is symbolic of masculinity and power. The chocolate penis might be a present for woman’s wedding shower or hen night.
Is the pecker given to make fun of male potency? Is the pecker given to symbolize the transfer of command, because she now holds the “tool of power” in the relationship? Or is it simply because chocolate peckers taste better than the real ones!