tell me if I hurt you,” he said between careful thrusts.
“You’re not.” He was holding back again and that wasn’t what she wanted. Then his fingers found the super-sensitive spot between her legs and she gasped, arching her back.
Her climax hit hard and she cried out with pleasure as Jadon crested his pinnacle seconds later. For long moments, the only audible sound in the room was their heavy breathing.
Jadon slid her over to the side, yet held her close. She was happy they’d made love but wished Jadon could have let himself go, the way he once had.
“Alyssa, are you all right? I didn’t hurt you or the babies, did I?”
Exasperated, she swiveled her head around to look at him. “Why would you have hurt me? Do you think I’m the only pregnant woman in the world to have sex?”
He propped his head up on his elbow, gazing down at her, a frown puckering his brow. “No, but you were having contractions yesterday. I should have used more restraint.”
His gaze was so serious, she knew he was really bothered by the idea that he might have caused some harm. Yet he acted as if he wished they hadn’t made love. “Are you always going to treat me like I’m fragile?”
He was taken aback by her sharp tone. “You almost died. Every time I think of you delivering the babies early, my gut gets tied up in knots.”
Surprised by his revelation, she arched a brow. Jadon didn’t talk about his feelings, ever. “I’m fine. I wish things could go back to the way they were before.”
“You can’t go back. You’re a mother now.”
So she wasn’t a woman? “And you’re a father.”
“I know.” His expression turned grim. “That wasn’t exactly part of my plan.”
She tried not to take offense at his honesty. “Is that the real reason you left?”
“No.” Jadon pulled away, reaching for his boxers. Apparently his brief display of emotion was over. “I didn’t know you were pregnant.”
“Would it have mattered?”
He paused, before continuing to pull his boxers on. “Of course it would have mattered. I would have stayed in touch with you while I was gone.”
He still would have left. Even now, he was putting distance between them. They’d made love, but nothing had really changed. He was still holding her at arm’s length, keeping himself emotionally apart.
And she wasn’t satisfied with that. Not anymore.
“Why don’t you take a shower? I’ll make breakfast.”
“Don’t wait on me.” She didn’t hide her annoyance. “I’m perfectly capable of making my own breakfast.”
He hardly glanced at her when she slid from the bed to find her clothes. “I’m cooking anyway, so it’s no bother.”
He had an answer for everything. Discouraged, Alyssa showered, using the hot water to wash away her disappointment. Afterward, she pulled out the first maternity outfit she found. It didn’t matter what she wore. Jadon wouldn’t notice anyway.
Stop it, she admonished herself. So maybe she and Jadon weren’t a happy couple. Too bad. He was the father of her babies and she just had to find a way to deal with it.
She walked to the kitchen, where Jadon had made steamy bowls of oatmeal, topped with cinnamon, brown sugar and raisins. As she sat down, a contraction tightened her abdomen.
Hard.
Worse than she’d experienced the day before.
She mentally ticked off the seconds until the contraction eased, noting that it lasted for over a minute.
Hmm. Not good. She continued eating her breakfast without saying anything to Jadon. He’d only start worrying again. And she wasn’t in the mood to be coddled.
But clearly she’d have to give Kim a call. Maybe she’d be lucky and the contractions would stop.
Jadon watched Alyssa eating her oatmeal and mentally talked himself out of taking her back to bed for an encore.
Did she have any idea how much he wanted her? She looked so beautiful, with her dark hair falling in waves around her shoulders, the bright pink long-sleeved maternity top emphasizing the plumpness of her breasts and her gently curved stomach.
Just looking at her made him sweat. He shouldn’t have stayed the night in her bed, but he couldn’t find the energy for regrets. Not when their morning had started off so great.
He’d been half-asleep that morning when she’d moved against him, silently urging him to touch her. At some level he’d known exactly what he was doing, yet he hadn’t been able to make himself stop.
Especially when Alyssa had clearly been egging him on.
But then they’d argued and the time of closeness had gone. He didn’t understand what she wanted from him. No, he hadn’t planned on being a father, but he was here with her now, wasn’t he? Didn’t that count for something?
They couldn’t go back. They had to figure out how to move forward. And no matter what, he couldn’t give her the happy, close-knit family she wanted. His fault, not hers.
Alyssa rose from her seat at the table, moving stiffly. “Are you all right?” he asked, sure he had hurt her.
She rolled her eyes. “I’m going to sit on the sofa. Do you mind?”
“Not at all.” He needed to clean up the kitchen and take a shower, too. “What do you want to do today? Christmas shopping?”
Her annoyance faded and her eyes brightened. “Yes. I’d like to pick up something for Kylie and Seth, and a special present for Ben.”
“Good. Let me clean up and shower first.”
On his way to the bathroom he heard his cell phone ringing. So he turned back, searching through his pile of dirty laundry, another task he’d have to tackle soon, for the device.
His mother’s number was on the display screen. Dread squeezed his intestines and twisted, hard. God, no. Not again. Wishing he could ignore the call, he slowly opened the phone and lifted it to his ear. “Hi, Mom. What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she swiftly reassured him. “How are you?”
He frowned, not understanding. “Nothing is wrong? You’re sure? Jack is doing okay?”
“Yes, actually Jack seems to be doing better. This new doctor has started a whole new medication regimen and so far Jack is going along with it. He likes the new doctor anyway.”
The new doctor he’d pulled strings for his brother to see was a female, which might explain why Jack liked her but he didn’t care since Dr. Elizabeth Cranberg was also a renowned expert in treating patients like Jack.
“Good. I’m glad.” He knew Jack probably had a long way to go but maybe this was a turning point for his brother. Maybe there was a chance for Jack to lead a relatively normal life.
Foolish hope swelled in his chest. Maybe someday he’d have a normal life, too. “Will you keep me informed on how things go?”
“Of course.” His mother didn’t sound tired and exhausted like she had before. Instead, it seemed like things were cautiously optimistic with Jack. “Anyway, I called because I’d like to make some plans for the holiday. Do you know when you might be coming home to visit?”
Oh, boy, he’d forgotten his mother’s request to have the whole family together for Christmas. Including his father, whom he hadn’t seen in years. The stress