Jadon here?” she asked Carla.
“Yes, he spent a lot of time with the girls. He asked Dr. Downer, the neonatologist, lots of questions. I think he left about an hour ago, maybe a little more.”
An hour ago? He hadn’t been in her room when she’d woken up.
Her stomach clenched with anxiety. So where was he?
SO THIS was it. The beginning of the end. Jadon was gone. Alyssa walked back to her room, trying not to feel overwhelmed by the concept of raising the girls all by herself.
When she crossed the threshold, she stopped, startled to see a huge bouquet of more than a dozen pink roses in a vase on her bedside table. There were also two pink “It’s A Girl” balloons tied to the side-rail of her bed.
She read the small card tucked between the roses, feeling ashamed for doubting him when she realized the flowers and balloons were gifts from Jadon.
“Arranged some extra time off work, then ran home to get your suitcase. Be back soon, Jadon.”
He hadn’t left unexpectedly, other than to talk to his boss about having time off and to buy flowers and balloons. Ashamed, she realized she’d jumped to conclusions. He hadn’t left her. He wasn’t like her father. They must have just missed each other.
She counted eighteen blooms, stroking the velvetsoft petals with the tip of her index finger. Another first. Not quite as monumental as giving birth to twins, but she’d never received pink roses before. Or any other color roses. Not from Jadon or from anyone else.
He’d been so sweet and so supportive during the few hours she’d spent in labor, and afterward when they’d both been given the chance to hold their newly born daughters. She found it difficult to reconcile this new Jadon with the emotionally distant man who’d made love to her and then left without saying a word.
Let it go, she told herself. There’s no reason to keep dwelling on the past. Jadon was here now, had gone as far as to ask her to move in with him. Maybe there was still some hope for them. Maybe he’d learn to show his feelings. Maybe she could trust him with her heart.
She was glad he’d gone to get her things.
Because she wouldn’t mind wearing something other than the shapeless hospital gown to help her look a bit more attractive.
Jadon returned right after she finished with her dinner tray. “Do you want me to call the nurse to bring another tray for you?” she offered.
“No, thanks, I’m fine. I grabbed something quick right after I left.” He set her small suitcase on the floor beside her bed.
“Thanks for the roses and the balloons,” she said. “They were a nice surprise when I returned to my room after seeing Grace and Gretchen.”
“You’re welcome.” He pulled up a chair beside her bed. “I spoke to Louis Downer, the neonatologist assigned to Grace and Gretch, and he really feels like the girls are doing amazingly well for being seven weeks early.”
“I’m glad. Although I did try breast-feeding earlier and neither of the girls suckled for very long.” She blushed when she noticed Jadon’s gaze dropped to her breasts. Was he imagining how large and full her breasts were now? “The nurse told me the girls might need tube feedings.”
Jadon nodded. “Yes, Louis mentioned that possibility to me as well. But tube feedings aren’t the worst thing in the world. As long as they get nourishment and continue to grow, that’s what really matters. Do you plan to, ah, continue nursing?”
She knew he was dancing around the issue of asking if she planned to pump her breasts to provide breast milk if the girls couldn’t nurse on their own. “Yes, because at this point they need every possible advantage they can get.”
“Very true.” Jadon looked relieved at the news. “Louis warned me that both girls will likely need to be placed under the bili-lights, too. Even full-term babies sometimes need the bili-lights, but preemies even more so as their livers aren’t fully developed yet.”
“I know, I pretty much expected that.” She’d learned a few things during her nursing school rotation through OB, but was hardly an expert.
“Alyssa, I think we need to talk about the future, maybe not right now but soon. Once you’re discharged and back home.” His serious, earnest gaze warmed her heart.
Home as in back at his house? She thought so. She saw his willingness to talk as a good sign. “I know.”
“So that’s settled,” he said with satisfaction. “How about if we go and visit our daughters again?”
“I’d like that.” She threw aside the blanket and grimaced a little when she swung her legs over the side of the bed.
“Are you all right?” Jadon asked, noticing her discomfort. “Do you want me to get you a wheelchair?”
“No wheelchair, I’d rather walk.” She bent down to grab the suitcase he’d brought in. “But first I need a few minutes in the bathroom.”
“Sure.” He relaxed in his chair, not seeming to be in the least bit impatient. “No rush.”
In the bathroom she quickly changed into her own nightgown and robe, feeling a little better wearing her own things. The nightgown had a lace-tie in the front that would help if she tried nursing the girls again.
Jadon lightly clasped her hand as they walked down to the level-three nursery. Jadon led the way straight to Grace and Gretchen’s isolettes.
“Are you here to hold your babies?” Carla asked, crossing over to them. “Let me grab a couple of warm blankets for you, all right?”
“Okay.” Alyssa leaned forward, dividing her attention between both babies. “Aren’t they cute, wearing those little pink hats?”
“They’re adorable,” Jadon agreed in a husky voice. “Beautiful, just like their mother.”
Her heart swelled with love as she gazed at her daughters. Jadon had created these wonderful miracles with her. “Which one do you want to hold?” she asked him.
“I’ll take Grace this time. I feel like we should alternate so we don’t play favorites.”
“I think it’s a little early to worry about playing favorites,” Alyssa said with a small laugh.
Carla returned with the warm blankets and quickly wrapped up both babies and handed Grace to Jadon, and Gretchen to Alyssa.
They sat in side-by-side rockers, content to simply hold the babies.
“Lys?” Jadon said, glancing up at her. “You are going to come back home with me after you’re discharged, right?”
“Yes.” She frowned a little because she’d thought that was what he’d meant earlier.
“I knew you’d be discharged in the next day or two, but I also know that Louis thought the babies would be here for maybe a couple of weeks,” Jadon explained. “So I wanted to make sure.”
“A couple of weeks?” It was hard to hide her dismay. “He really thinks they’ll need to stay that long? I was hoping we’d have them home by Christmas.”
“Christmas is just over two weeks away, so don’t be discouraged. We may get to take them home by then. Depending on how much weight they gain. And how well their breathing progresses.”
“Alyssa?” Denise, her postpartum nurse, came into the nursery. “You have a couple of visitors, and there’s one little boy especially who would like to see the