had?
“The problem with my job was... There was a man there. My supervisor. He was older, in his forties. I wasn’t even twenty yet. He flirted with me, but it wasn’t flirting.”
“Sexual harassment,” Theo concluded flatly, his voice low and chill.
“One night, before I went home, it was sexual assault.” Her voice faded into a whisper, but she knew he heard her because the silence took on a thick, heavy quality.
She smoothed a hand over the glossy hardwood of a side table, accidentally lifting her eyes to the reflection in the mirror above it.
Theo was arrested, pale under his swarthy tan, lips tight and outlined with a white ring. When their gazes clashed in the pool of silver, he flinched his glance away.
She caught back a gasp of pain.
“I never should have pressured you that night,” he said from between his teeth.
“You didn’t. I wanted to,” she assured him, swinging around to face him even though her whole body suffused with self-conscious heat. Memories burned through her, sweet and hot. Hands knotting together at her navel, she said in a strained voice, “You know I enjoyed it.”
She was dying over here, embarrassed that she had to be so bald in her confession. It was incredibly hard to practically beg him to remember how uninhibited she’d been by the time she’d slipped naked from his bed and reluctantly dressed, but she had faced him proudly in the dawn light, enjoying his admiring gaze as he watched her dress.
“That night was the first time since it happened that I wanted to be with a man. To let anyone touch me,” she confided.
“I was your employer.”
“No, you weren’t. And remember how shocked I was that you were attracted to me? As an employee I never once felt threatened by you, especially sexually. I was as grateful for that as everything else. I mean, I started out in housekeeping because it was all women, even the supervisors. Moving to the front desk, night clerk, those were all huge risks that I took because I knew I had to move past what had happened to me if I wanted to advance, but I was able to do it because you had this quiet command of everything. I felt like no one would dare touch me because I could go to you. I didn’t have any recourse the first time.”
He frowned. “You didn’t tell your family? What about the police?”
Thick painful tears welled in her eyes and she had to look away to hold on to her composure. “My uncle was ashamed that I went to the police. He called me a slut and my parents weren’t in a position to argue in my defense. They wanted me to marry the man, but he was already married.”
Theo swore and started toward her only to bring himself up short. “Jaya...” His tone was one of deep shock and struggle.
She wished he’d make this easy and take her in his strong arms, but at the same time she could only stare at the floor feeling the tears drop from her eyes. The assault had been a nightmare, but the time afterward had been the darkest, most bleak and isolated of her life.
Forcing herself to remember it was over and she was safe, she swiped at her wet cheeks and lifted her head, lashes matted and eyes still bleary. Swallowing back the lump in her throat, she managed to say, “Fortunately I had Saranya.”
“She came for you?”
“Couriered her passport. My uncle had learned his lesson about leaving them where the children could find them. We’re only a year apart and always looked remarkably alike. People mistook us all the time. Quentin was filming in Malaysia so she sent me a ticket to Kuala Lumpur. She’d just had Bina. They took me in and she went with me for all the doctor checks... I look back and think it’s such a miracle I didn’t get pregnant, given you and I managed it in one go.” She gave a weak smile.
“I can’t believe you still send them money.”
“For my mother’s sake, and my sister’s. And even though Quentin is quite successful, I don’t want to be a burden. I lived too long on my uncle’s good graces. Earning my own keep is important to me so I applied at a few hotels, ones that overlooked my lack of paperwork. Having good English was an asset. I picked up Quentin’s German and a local dialect. When he began filming in Bali, I got on at Makricosta’s. After, um, claiming to the Indian embassy that I’d lost my passport and needed it replaced.” She cleared her throat. “I know that was wrong—”
“Hell, Jaya, I’m not judging you. Your uncle, yeah, but not you.” He swore again and ran a hand down his face.
Zephyr squawked at that point and she realized he was probably hungry. It was a much-needed few minutes of distraction that allowed her to collect herself. Her hands shook as she moved around the kitchenette and she was aware of Theo standing in one spot the whole time, staring out to the pool.
The sense of being flayed raw stayed with her, making her attempts to be natural and smile at her baby feel forced. Her cheeks were stiff, her brow hooking and pulling. Everything in her wanted to move into Theo’s reach and hope he’d take her in his arms, so he might smooth away all the jagged edges and reassure her that what she’d told him hadn’t changed his view of her.
He didn’t even look her way, which choked her throat with a helpless ache.
The buzz of her phone, which was on vibrate, jangled her nerves. She thought, Work, and it was the most vile four-letter word right now.
Except it would also be a healthy retreat. It suddenly hit her that she could leave. Theo didn’t need her here. The babies were gone.
Oh. An even more profoundly bereft emotion enveloped her, but she needed distance from him. While her emotions were twining and growing around his return to her life, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. That marriage idea of his certainly wasn’t being thrown at her any longer.
Against the ominous plane of his back, she said, “I’ll take Zephyr home after he finishes eating. A lot has piled up here. I need to get into my office downstairs.”
Theo turned and the withdrawal in him was almost frightening. He was the aloof man she’d first met, not dismissive, but giving the impression he didn’t see a woman at all. Just a fellow robot.
The shift crushed her with disappointment. No, something worse. She was devastated. It was like all the accord they’d developed had evaporated and she was a stranger to him. He would be polite, but really, he didn’t want to know her ugly secrets. She’d told him too much and now she felt small and soiled.
“Why don’t you leave him with me?” he said.
“Wh-what?”
“I’m not going anywhere. We’ll be close by if he needs you. You and I still have to figure out how we’re going to proceed. I’ve heard all you’ve said, I understand why you don’t want to marry me, but I’m not flying out of here to forget this ever happened. At some point word will get out beyond my siblings that I have a child. He’s every bit as vulnerable as Evie and Androu, security-wise. We have a lot to work out.”
He spoke from across the canyon that was the lounge, his words seeming to echo around her, but they weren’t quite as empty as she’d begun to fear. She stood on uncertain footing, but this connection he’d talked about, their interdependence, was real. It was a thin thread, delicate as a dew-covered string of spider silk, but she stayed very still, wanting it to stick and endure.
“Okay.” She had to clear huskiness from her throat and now her smile at Zephyr was soft and easy and relieved. She felt like she could breathe again. She would keep seeing Theo a little longer.
“If you don’t mind a late dinner, we could talk then,” she offered as she wiped Zephyr’s face and hands.
“Downstairs? That’s fine. What time shall I make the reservation?”
She had meant room service, but, “I can book it. I’ll text you.” Feeling gauche and self-conscious, she walked Zephyr across to Theo’s