against being too aggressive. He wasn’t quite as smooth as he’d wish, but he wasn’t standing on her painted toes, either.
She was awkward, her hesitation seeming more from surprise and unfamiliarity with formal dancing than apprehension. After settling her hand on his shoulder and her fingers into his palm, she took a step forward instead of back, then cringed in horror.
He grinned. “It’s fine, just follow my lead.”
She did and because she was naturally graceful and rhythmic, they moved well together—not unlike the way they’d meshed in Bali. It was her same quiet trust that made it possible, heating him to his core as he absorbed it, solidifying his need to take great care with her, stoking his need.
“Question answered?” he managed to say, trying to keep things light.
“You’re sneaky,” she accused. “Maybe you don’t bully or pressure, but you’re not above seduction, are you?”
He stopped dancing and drew in a deep breath, harking back to when he’d done everything he could to lure her by her own desire into his bed. “Jaya—”
“It’s okay, Theo. I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to men.” She nudged him back into leading. “I’ve never danced like this, never been on a real date. If you don’t make advances nothing will happen because I don’t know how. That’s really why I’m scared to say I’ll marry you. You’re the first man who’s asked.”
Reservations paralyzed him, but when he used the excuse of an approaching pair of dancers to pull her close, his misgivings slipped from his mind. The contact of her abdomen hitting his hips detonated a subdued explosion that drained his thoughts.
Her lips parted as they held the pose for an extended few seconds, eyes locked.
She took a sudden step back, but didn’t release his hand when he relaxed his hold on hers. Chewing her lip, she seemed to debate whether to continue their dance.
“I’m always like this around you,” he admitted under his breath, throwing his ego into the wind. It might be the dumbest thing in the world to think this would reassure her, but if they had agreed on nothing else, they were being honest with each other. Maybe, just maybe, if she knew she could trust him, he could have her in his bed again someday. “Every time I saw you in Bali, I was aroused. Just knowing I would see you would do this to me. I’ve only ever acted on it the once, Jaya, when you wanted me to.”
They still weren’t moving, only holding the half embrace while music and couples swirled around them. He searched for uneasiness in her, but her eyes were clouding with confusion and... Was it desire?
If he cupped her breast right now, he wondered, would he find her nipple pebbled and sensitive, aching for the pull of his mouth?
He swallowed, dying as he balanced on the knife’s edge between hell and ecstasy.
“Would you kiss me, please?” she asked softly. “I’ve been wondering—”
He did, not debating, just grasping at permission to capture her parted lips with his. Deep in the back of his mind he reminded himself, Easy. Go slow.
It was agonizing to hold himself back. She was so exquisite, her mouth the pillowy satin welcome that tortured his dreams. By some feat of inhuman discipline, he kept his hand light when he clasped the side of her neck where she was warm and soft. He raked his mouth across hers in gentle ravishment, drinking in the clove and nutmeg taste of her.
Jaya liked these extra high heels. Her neck didn’t hurt from tilting up to Theo’s kiss. Her arms rose of their own accord to curl behind his neck. She opened to the tip of his tongue with a hitch of her breath and started to arch into him.
His hands hardened on her hips, pressing her into her shoes as he lifted his head.
“I was wondering, too.” His voice sounded like it originated in the bottom of his chest and came out in a purr like a high performance engine. “We’re still incredible together. Make sure you take that into consideration.” He circled his thumbs on her hips.
She ducked her laugh into his collarbone, hand pressed to where his heart slammed in the tense cage of his ribs. Oh, Theo. She had missed him so much. In this second, all she could think was that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, feeling like this.
It reminded her of that fearful moment in Bali when she’d closed her eyes and grasped at her own future. There had been consequences to her actions that she hadn’t foreseen. She ought to show a little more sense this time. Marriage was the oldest form of subjugation in history.
But she didn’t believe it would be that way with him. Perhaps she was fooling herself, but she felt more like a mammal with the mate she was meant for. Whether she said yes today or years from now, no man was ever going to have this same effect on her. In her heart she was already tied to Theo. Hesitating to make it official seemed like fighting the inevitable.
On the other hand, was money and sex enough? Could Theo ever give her the things she really craved from a lifetime with a man?
“Our food has arrived,” he said, nudging her back to their table.
Her pulse jittered from his touch as she sat down and tried to take in the scorched scallops atop crunchy potato cakes.
When they were alone she asked, “Where would we live?”
“With me,” he deadpanned. “That’s the point.”
She laughed, but he only scowled as he chewed and swallowed.
“I need to talk to Adara about curtailing the worst of my travel. Whether you marry me or not, I have to be available to Zephyr, but I’ll always have to do some globe-trotting. I don’t particularly care for Paris as a base, but it’s closer to India than New York. Could you stand it?”
“Could you?” she challenged, taking in the tight grip he had on his fork with a tilt of her equilibrium into caution. “I’m actually quite flexible. I’ve started over in new places several times. You live in your helicopter. You’re used to doing what you like. Having a wife and child would turn your life upside down, Theo.”
“I’m aware,” he stated flatly, setting down his utensils to stroke restless hands up and down his thighs. “And I won’t claim that I’d be easy to live with, especially in the beginning, but I keep coming back to what I can offer you in terms of security and protection. Marriage is the simplest way to accomplish that.”
She ought to be flattered, she supposed. There was a type of caring in his bland statement, even if it was the kind one usually showed to, say, an expensive boat or maybe a herd of cattle. On some level he valued her, she deduced. That was nice, but it wasn’t enough to sustain a marriage.
Their conversation drifted to what kind of placement she could have with Makricosta’s, as his wife or not, and they didn’t talk about marriage again until they’d returned to the suite.
First they had to release the matronly Madame Begnoche and Theo had to negotiate a peace treaty with Bina. She was very sad to learn that Theo wanted Zephyr living with him rather than coming to South America with her and Quentin.
“Pyaari beti,” Jaya reminded gently, “You know I was going to stay in France and not come with you and your papa.”
“I know, but, but...” Her voice threatened to crack into sobs.
Theo extracted a business card and wrote on it before he handed it to Bina. “This is my personal mobile. Call anytime you are missing Zephyr. We probably won’t be able to come to you that day, but we’ll try to visit within the week. Or, if your father agrees, I’ll bring you to visit him. We’ll work it out, I promise.”
“Thank you,” she said in a heavy but mollified voice, blinking her damp doe eyes.
When she held up her arms, Theo didn’t get it. Jaya had to touch his shoulder and nod. “She wants to hug you.”
“Oh,