Tetriori; or
The ugliest grinner
Shall be the winner.
Each party grinned five minutes solus, and then all united
in a grand chorus of distortion. This prize was carried by a
porter to a vinegar merchant, though he was accused by his
competitors of foul play, for rinsing his mouth with
verjuice. The whole was concluded by a hog, with his tail
shaved and soaped, being let loose among nine peasants; any
one of which that could seize him by the queue, and throw
him across his shoulders, was to have him for a reward. This
occasioned much sport: the animal, after running some miles,
so tired his hunters that they gave up the chase in despair.
A prodigious concourse of people attended, among whom were
the Tripoline Ambassador, and several other persons of
distinction.
We hail the return of these festive seasons when the busy inhabitants of Lud's town and its suburbs, in spite of hard times, tithes, and taxes, repair to the royal park of Queen Bess to divert their melancholy! We delight to contemplate the mirthful mourners in their endless variety of character and costume; to behold the forlorn holiday-makers hurrying to the jocund scene, to participate in those pleasures which the genius of wakes, kindly bounteous, prepares for her votaries. *
* On the Easter-Monday of 1840, the Regent's Park, Primrose
Hill, and the adjoining fields, presented one merry mass of
animated beings. At Chalk Farm there was a regular fair—
with swings, roundabouts, ups-and-downs, gingerbread-stalls,
theatres, donkey-races, penny chaises, and puppet-shows,
representing the Islington murder, the Queen's marriage, the
arrival of Prince Albert, and the departure of the Chartist
rioters! Hampstead Heath, and the surrounding villages,
turned out their studs of Jerusalem ponies. Copenhagen
House, Hornsey Wood House and the White Conduit, echoed with
jollity; the holiday-makers amusing themselves with cricket,
fives, and archery. How sweetly has honest, merry Harry
Carey described the origin of “Sally in our Alley” which
touelied the heart of Addison with tender emotion, and
called forth his warmest praise. “A shoemaker's 'prentice,
making holiday with his sweetheart, treated her with a sight
of Bedlam, the puppet-shows, the flying-chairs, and all the
elegancies of Moorfields, from whence proceeding to the
Farthing Pye-house, he gave her a collation of buns,
cheese-cakes, gammon of bacon, stuffed beef, and bottled
ale; through all which scenes the author dodged them.
Charmed with the simplicity of their courtship, he drew from
what he had witnessed this little sketch of Nature.”
The gods assembled on Olympus presented not a more glorious sight than the laughing divinities of One-Tree-Hill!
Original
What an animated scene! Hark to the loud laugh of some youngsters that have had their roll and tumble. Yonder is a wedding party from the neighbouring village. See the jolly tar with his true blue jacket and trousers, checked shirt, radiant with a gilt brooch as big as a crown piece, yellow straw-hat, striped stockings, and pumps; and his pretty bride, with her rosy cheeks and white favours. How light are their heels and hearts! And the blythesome couples that follow in their train—noviciates in the temple of Hymen, but who ere long will be called upon to act as principals! All is congratulation, good wishes, and good humour. Scandal is dumb; envy dies for the day; disappointment gathers hope; and one wedding, like a fool, or an Irish wake, shall make many.
“O yes! O yes! O yes!
When the peripatetic pieman rings his bell
At morning, noon, or when you sit at eve;
Ladies and gentlemen, I guess
It needs no ghost to tell,
In song, recitative,
He warbles cakes and gingerbread to sell!
Tarts of gooseberry, raspberry, cranberry;
Rare bonne-bouches brought from Banbury;
Puffs and pie-ses
Of all sorts and sizes;
Ginger beer,
That won't make you queer,
Like the treble X ale of Taylor and Hanbury!”
“Here, good Christians, are five Reasons why you shouldn't go to a fair, published by the London Lachrymose Society for the suppression of fun.”
“And here, good Christians, are five-and-fifty why you should! published by my Lord Chancellor Cocke Lorel, President of the High Court of Mummery, and Conscience-keeper to his merry Majesty of Queerumania, for the promotion of jollity.”
One of the better order of mendicants, on whose smooth, pale brow, hung the blossoms of the grave, arrested our attention with the following madrigal which pleased us, inasmuch as it seemed to smack of the olden time.
“I love but only one
And thou art only she
That loves but only one—
Let me that only be!
Requite me with the like,
And say thou unto me
Thou lov'st but only one,
And I am only he!”
“Cold comfort this, broiling and frying under a burning hot sun!” soliloquized a blind ballad-singer. And, having two strings to his bow, and one to his fiddle, he put a favourite old tune to the rack, and enforced us to own the soft impeachment of
THE BALLAD SINGER'S APOLOGY FOR GREENWICH FAIR.=
Up hill and down hill, 'tis always the same;
Mankind ever grumbling, and fortune to blame!
To fortune, 'tis uphill, ambition and strife;
And fortune obtain'd—then the downhill of life!
We toil up the hill till we reach to the top;
But are not permitted one moment to stop!
O how much more quick we descend than we climb!
There's no locking fast the swift wheels of Old Time.
Gay Greenwich! thy happy young holiday train
Here roll down the hill, and then mount it again.
The ups and downs life has bring sorrow and care;
But frolic and mirth attend those at the fair.
My Lord May'r of London, of high city lineage,
His show makes us glad with, and why shouldn't
Greenwich?