any of your month’s salary left. How are you going to afford such expenses?
Attorney I forgot to mention that a lawyer and his friend, the ʿumdah,32 are coming with us.
Second Visitor How can two such people make any pretense of liking French soirées or getting the slightest enjoyment out of them? They don’t know a word of the language or any European phrases.
Attorney My dear friend, don’t you realize that lawyers want to keep the company of the judiciary, and peasants want to brush shoulders with us? But both alike dearly want to attend French soirées, even though the cost is so high and they get no benefit or enjoyment whatsoever.
Second Visitor (tersely) Where did you get that cravat?
Attorney I didn’t buy it, monsieur. It came with my clothes from my tailor in Paris.
First Visitor Did you hear that X has resigned?
Second Visitor Have you seen those electric carriages?
Attorney I’ve found out for you why Suarez’s son committed suicide.
First Visitor I know—love!
Attorney No.
Visitor Money?
Attorney No.
Visitor Was he ill?
Attorney No, the poor chap was copying the latest rage in Paris!
First Visitor And I’ve found out for you why ʿUthmān Bey Ghālib was fired from his post.
Attorney Was it his conduct?
Visitor No.
Attorney His job?
Visitor No.
Attorney His French?
Visitor No, his English!
٩،٣
قال عيسى بن هشام: فسئمت من هذا الكلام الفارغ والحديث المقتضب وانتهزت دخول الحاجب فخرجت من مكمني في غضون ذلك فوجدت أحد سماسرة المحامين قد التصق بالباشا يحاوره فأنصت من بعيد فممّا سمعته قوله:
السمسار اعلم أنّ المحامي في يده القضاء يبرئ ويعاقب من يشاء وما النيابات وما المحاكم وما القضاة إلا طوع إشارته ورهن كلمته فلا حكم إلا بأمره ولا قضاء إلا برأيه وأنت رجل غريب حقيق بالرحمة والشفقة وتدعوني الإنسانية والمروءة أن لا أدعك طعمة في أيدي المحامين الذين يسلبون الناس المال بطرق النصب والاحتيال وكاذب الوعود والآمال، وصاحبي فلان المحامي رجل صادق أمين وأصولي شهير صاحب مقام سام بين الأمراء والحكام فهو صديق الناظر وجليس المستشار ونديم القاضي وخدين النائب ووكيل البرنس ولو شاهدته يا سيدي في اجتماعه معهم في السهر والسمر والحظ والأنس يشاربهم ويؤاكلهم ويمازحهم ويقامرهم لأيقنت أنّ كل طلب له يجاب وليس لأمره من راد، والمجرم بريء والبريء جان على حسب المراد، فقل لي عن مقدار ما تستطيع دفعه في المقدم.
الباشا أنا لا أعرف المقدم ولا المؤخر ولم يخبرني صاحبي عن هذا الحاكم المطلق فإذا استفهمت عنه ....
السمسار (مقاطعًا) لا لزوم للاستفهام من أحد فها هو حضرة المحامي قد أقبل.
ʿĪsā ibn Hishām said:33 I found this terse and vacuous conversation boring, so I took advantage of the guard’s entry to leave my hiding place and return to my companion, the Pāshā. I found a lawyer’s agent beside him. He had come over and was talking to him. So I stood at a distance. Here is some of what I heard him say:
Agent You should realize that the lawyer can direct the judiciary exactly as he wishes, punishing and acquitting anyone according to whim. The members of the Parquet, the courts, and judges merely follow his instructions. No decision can be made unless he says so and no verdict can be reached without his instructions. You’re a stranger here, someone who deserves sympathy and forbearance. Mere human decency forbids me to let you fall into the clutches of some low-class lawyers who regularly use deceitful and crafty methods and make false promises that raise all kinds of hopes, and all that merely to rob people of their money. My colleague on the other hand is honest and reliable, a well-known man of principle who is highly regarded by princes and government officials alike. He’s the inspector’s friend, the counselor’s companion, the judge’s intimate companion, the attorney’s confidant, and the prince’s agent. If only you could see him just once, my dear Sir, when he meets them for a late-night chat. You would immediately notice the informal atmosphere they share as they enjoy themselves in each other’s company and watch him as he eats and drinks with them, chats and jokes, debates and gambles. You would then be convinced that every request he makes is granted and no one would refuse to do what he orders. As a result, the guilty man can be innocent in accordance with his wishes, and the innocent man guilty. So tell me, how much can you afford to pay in advance?
Pāshā I know nothing about advance or arrears. My friend didn’t mention this powerful arbiter you describe. So once I’ve asked him about it—
Agent (interrupting) There’s no need to ask anyone! Here comes the lawyer now.
١٠،٣
ويستقبل السمسار المحامي باستقبال الأمراء ويوسّع له الطريق حتى يصل به إلى جانب الباشا بعد أن ألقى في أذن صاحبه ما ألقاه.
المحامي (بصوت عال) أنا لا أستطيع قبول التوكيل عن أحد في هذه الأيام لتراكم الأعمال وتزاحم القضايا فلم يبق عندي وقت للطعام وللشراب (وربما كانت الحقيقة أنه لم يبق عنده شيء لا وقت) فكيف تكلفني أن أقبل التوكيل عن صاحبك في هذه القضية الصغيرة وقد رفضت في صباحي خمس قضايا ذات أهمية كبرى.
السمسار سألتك بحق الإنسانية وحرمة المروءة وبما جبلت عليه من الحنو للضعفاء أن تأذن لأحد موظفي مكتبك أن يباشر هذه القضية , إن لم تتنازل لقبولها بنفسك فإنّ الغرض هو تأثير