and yet the message of Fresh Joy is rare in that it spurs us on to cultivate joy amid hardship. There are no simple formulas or spiritual platitudes within these pages. With raw tenderness, Heidi reveals her story of unfathomable sorrow and gently leads us in how to grow joy in the darkness of our storms. Anyone struggling in a difficult place will find this book to be a companion on their walk of suffering and will take comfort in knowing that they too, like Heidi, can recover from tremendous loss and pain to flourish once again.
CYNTHIA CAVANAUGH
Speaker and award-winning author of Anchored: Leading Through the Storm
FRESH JOY:
FINDING JOY IN THE MIDST OF LOSS, HARDSHIP AND SUFFERING
Copyright ©2020 Heidi McLaughlin
All rights reserved
ISBN 978-1-988928-34-0 Soft Cover
ISBN 978-1-988928-35-7 EPUB
Published by: Castle Quay Books
Burlington, ON, Canada | Jupiter, FL, USA
Tel: (416) 573-3249
E-mail: [email protected] | www.castlequaybooks.com
Edited by Marina Hofman Willard
Cover design and book interior by Burst Impressions
Printed in Canada
All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form without prior written permission of the publishers.
Unless otherwise marked, Scripture quotations are taken from Holy Bible, New International Version Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. • Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible Paraphrase • Copyright © 1971, 1973 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. • Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson • Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Title: Fresh joy: finding joy in the midst of loss, hardship and suffering / by Heidi McLaughlin.
Names: McLaughlin, Heidi, author.
Identifiers: Canadiana 20200300210 | ISBN 9781988928340 (softcover)
Subjects: LCSH: Joy—Religious aspects—Christianity. | LCSH: Joy. | LCSH: Grief—Religious aspects— Christianity. | LCSH: Grief.
Classification: LCC BV4647.J68 M35 2020 | DDC 248.4—dc23
Heidi uses her passion and gifts of speaking and writing in her ministry called “Heart Connections.” You can contact her through her web page:
www.heartconnection.ca or write to her at:
Heidi McLaughlin
1529 Chardonnay Place
West Kelowna, British Columbia
V4T 2P9 Canada
To my beloved birth children
Michelle and Donovan
Through all our sorrow and uncertainties, you’ve been my constant thread of joy.
CONTENTS
The Groundwork
ONE: SUPERPOWER OF THANKFULNESS
5,000 Gifts
A Window into Heaven
Reframing the “If Onlys”
FOUR: JOY GIVERS AND JOY BUSTERS
Six Traps of a Solitary Life
My Silver Ladder
The Land Between
Getting Unstuck
EIGHT: JOY WHEN WE KNOW WHO WE ARE
A Lesson from My Putter
Learning to Live Alone
TEN: JOY AND BEAUTY OF LIVING WATER
Pitiful or Powerful
Learning to Fly Upside Down
Hearing God’s Voice
FOREWORD
“I’d love a cup of coffee. Would you like one?” The words slipped from my mouth before I could retract them.
Coffee is my love language. The smell of it brings a smile to my lips and makes my heart happy. It’s how I communicate with my people, and Heidi is one of my people. We’ve laughed and cried our way through many of life’s ups and downs, but nothing was as earth-shattering as the unexpected death of her second husband, Jack.
I can still recall the message I received from Heidi asking for prayer after Jack collapsed in their kitchen while going for a coffee. And the prayers that followed when it became apparent he would not recover. Heidi’s normal changed forever before the first cup was brewed, an experience that made each cup thereafter a painful memory. I could understand her decision to avoid drinking it after all she had experienced.
For most of my life, I have believed that the goal is to run from pain. I reasoned that if I could avoid grief and disappointment, I would be in a perpetual state of joy. I now know I was wrong. Over the past three years, I’ve watched Heidi navigate a journey