Don’t worry about it,” Lauri said as she sat down beside me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Besides what just happened, are you having fun?”
“I’m having a great time, Lau,” I said, half smiling. “I think I’m gonna take a walk and put my feet in the water. I’ll be right back,” I said.
“Don’t go too far, Karen,” Danny said.
“I won’t, dad. I won’t go out of your eyesight,” I sassed.
Handing Lauri my drink, I got up and started walking toward the ocean.
The beach was one of my favorite places to be, especially at night. The full moon was low in the sky and the light it reflected on the dark water was breathtaking. Once I got to the shore, I sat down. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I rocked back and forth as tears began to stream down my face. The sound of the waves crashing into the shore was normally a sound that would soothe me, but at this moment, I couldn’t help but cry.
I cried for everything. I cried because of the immense hurt I still felt over what David had done to me. I cried because I knew that that incident had changed me forever and I would never be able to trust again. I cried because I wasn’t good enough for him and I’d never get the confidence back to be good enough for anybody. I cried because the only thing that made me smile in the last four weeks was sitting in his room, cleaning blood off of his face because of me. I cried because I was broken and I’d never be whole again.
I sat there and hugged myself for what seemed to be forever, constantly wiping my tears with the blood stained sleeves of Ramsey’s sweatshirt. After a while, when I finally calmed down, I just sat there and closed my eyes. I listened and let the sound of the waves take me away.
“Mind if I sit down?” Ramsey asked and my eyes flew open at the sound of his voice. “You’re not breaking promises again are you?” he asked.
I shook my head no, but my red and puffy face said the opposite.
“Karen, why are you crying?” he asked, chuckling.
I just continued to shake my head. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and handed me one. Once I put it in my mouth, he lit it for me, and then did the same for himself. Exhaling, he asked, “What is this about, Karen? David?”
“It’s just everything, Ramsey. My life has been an emotional roller coaster for the past month, and just when I start to feel grounded again, everything turns upside down.”
“How?” he asked.
“Well, for starters, that guy insinuating that I’m a whore. I’m not, Ramsey. I’m really not, not even close.”
“Karen, that guy was making fun of me, not you. Nobody thinks you’re a whore. And that fight was about me, not you, so you shouldn’t feel bad about that either,” he said.
“How can I not feel bad? If he hadn’t brought David up, that fight would have never happened,” I answered.
“And nobody got hurt in the fight, so it’s not a big deal, Karen. So just stop, ok,” he pleaded.
“I’ll try,” I said, wiping another tear from my eye.
“Good. So listen, I hate to bring this up now, but since you’re already upset, why don’t you tell me what exactly happened with David. I mean, Lauri told me that he cheated, but what exactly happened? I’d like to know what this guy did to you that you are constantly crying over him.”
I let out a deep breath and extinguished my cigarette in the sand. “I’m gonna need a fresh smoke for this one,” I said, grabbing for his pack of cigarettes that were lying next to him. I popped another cigarette in my mouth and right on cue, Ramsey had the lighter waiting for me.
“Ok, here goes,” I said as I started my story. “David and I started going out our junior year. He was a popular jock and I was a cheerleader, so we got together. You know, that’s how it works. We were inseparable, always together and spent every moment we could together. It was a great relationship, we never even really fought. He was my first for mostly everything and he taught me so much,” I said blushing, because I was referring to sex.
“When senior year came, we were homecoming king and queen. Basically, David and I were the stereotypical popular high school couple. When it came time to talk colleges, I wanted to go away. He got a scholarship to an amazing college with a fantastic basketball team in Queens, so he was staying home. I would have tried the long distance thing, but he pleaded with me not to leave him. He said he wouldn’t be able to get up in the morning knowing I was so many miles away.” I took another drag of my cigarette before I continued. “I loved him. I did. So, I applied to the school he is going to and I got in. They even offered me some money because I have good grades. David said it was fate, so I accepted the scholarship.
Just like all of you guys come down here every year prom weekend, my school goes to Cancun every year. Most of the senior class goes. David and I had been going out for so long, and our parents knew we were sleeping with each other, so they let us share a room in Mexico. We were so excited, ya know. We thought we were adults,” I told him with a hint of a chuckle.
“So, we head off to Mexico. I’ve never been too confident in myself, but Ramsey, I’ve never been so insecure in my life. Our hotel was crawling with teenagers, ninety five percent of them being absolutely gorgeous. We pretty much hung out with our classmates, but David is one of the most sociable people I know, and will carry on a conversation with just about anyone.
One day when we were by the pool, I was lying out and he was at the swim up bar, talking to everyone as usual. I noticed that there was a gorgeous blonde with big boobs standing behind him, with her arm on his shoulder. I didn’t think much of it because I mean David’s gorgeous, a lot of women try to touch him. But I kept on watching. He didn’t even try to move her arm away,” I said, shaking my head as I remembered the day.
“Some of my friends were getting their belly buttons pierced on the beach and asked if I wanted to go get it done. Trying to be spontaneous I guess, I agreed. I walked over to where I thought David could hear me and screamed that I’d be back in about a half hour. Once David acknowledged me, the blonde took her hands off of him. So, I walked away and got my belly pierced by some guy on the beach.
When we got back to the pool area, David wasn’t there. I asked his friends where he was and they said he went up to the room to lie down. I assumed he had too much to drink and too much sun. I couldn’t wait to show him my new accessory. David always said that my belly was his favorite part of my body, so that made me even more excited to show him.
When I got off the elevator and walked toward our room, I could hear loud music and didn’t realize it was coming from my room until I got to the door. I slid the card key in and opened the door. And there they were, David and the blonde, on my bed.
She was bent over on her hands and knees and he was behind her. He had one hand on her waist and the other on her big ass boob. It was a scene straight out of a porno. The image is burned in my brain. He must have been concentrating really hard because he didn’t even know that I walked into the room. She, on the other hand, did.”
“Holy shit. That sucks,” Ramsey said.
“I know, right. So she started screaming, “Get the fuck out of here,” and I just stood there, watching. Once she started shouting, David obviously looked to see what she was screaming at, and once he made eye contact with me, what was going on actually hit me, and I fainted, like a loser.
When I came to, he was standing over me, slapping my face, crying. He was friggen crying saying, “Karen, oh God, I’m so sorry Karen. Please, Karen, please.” It took me a minute, but I eventually stood up and looked around the room, searching for Ms. Big Boobs. He told me that she left as soon as I hit the floor. I just stood there for a minute, still stunned, before I asked him why.
You know what his response was? He said when he was at the pool bar that afternoon talking with all of those people, they were having a conversation about sex, and she