Thomas Ph.D Crochetiere

Our Life Well-Lived


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my maternal grandparents in the desert. I loved the desert just as my Grandpa Todd did and stayed there until one year after graduating high school. Not being able to find good work in the desert, I moved back to the big city (Los Angeles area) with my parents. At the young age of 20, I got started in a law enforcement career as a Jailer with the Palos Verdes Estates Police Department in 1981. Although I enjoyed my new career, I very much missed the desert.

      Shortly before meeting Vicki, she and Jason moved to the desert from the city. When we got married, I commuted back and forth from our desert apartment to work. This was a tiring 2 ½ to 3 hour drive one-way. A couple of weeks after we were married, we found an apartment not far from my work and moved there together.

      During the summer, Vicki’s family went on a family campout to McGrath State Beach. I was never the kind of person who wore shorts and Vicki tried to talk me into wearing shorts at least while we were camping at the beach. Being the stubborn person that I was, I refused.

      Vicki and her mother went into town and bought me a few pairs of shorts and when she returned, she again tried to talk me into wearing them. I held firm and still said, “No”. Vicki said she would later reward me if I at least wore the shorts for 1-day. She would not tell what this reward was but my curiosity got the best of me and I agreed.

      I then took off my blue jean pants and put on those shorts. You know, I had no idea I would be more comfortable and cooler wearing shorts. After all my fuss, I think I was going to like wearing shorts during the hotter months. Later that night while we were in our tent, Vicki was true to her word and rewarded me. Yes, I like being married!

      While visiting Vicki’s family one day, her mother mentioned they got a parking ticket on one of their cars and she was not happy about it. I decided to put a phony parking ticket on her car and signed my name. When one of the kids told her they thought her car got another parking ticket she immediately went out to see what for this time. As she realized I put the ticket on the car, she yelled at me and began to chase me. Here I am, a 24-year old man running away from a 40 something mother-in-law, there was no way she was going to catch me. Just when I turned my head to look back to see how far back she was from me, SMACK! I guess she was a lot faster than I thought she would be.

      In October, Vicki’s father invited me to go hunting with him along with Vicki’s brothers, Mark and Kevin. We set off for the Sequoia National Forest with rifles in hand and we all went our separate ways in search of Bambi. I was glad to not have found Bambi or any of his relatives. I had a great time alone in the forest just admiring the sheer beauty.

      When we returned home, Mark and Kevin told me it was their father’s birthday. I suggested we all get together and give him his birthday spankings but they both just looked at me in fear and said, “No way, he will kill us!” I told them I was not afraid of their father so I jumped him to administer his birthday spankings. Luckily, both Mark and Kevin did not want me to die alone so they jumped in to help out. Much to their surprise, their dad did not get mad about this and thought it was funny. We all had a good time together.

      Chapter three

      1986, Our 3rd Year Together

      One day in January while Vicki was at work, I was home with Jason and we were watching the TV to see the launch of the space shuttle Challenger. Just a few minutes after launch, Jason and I saw the shuttle explode. As I stood there in disbelief, Jason looked at me and asked, “Are they dead”? I could not believe that a 3-year old immediately knew what just happened. I told him I thought they were.

      Vicki and I were very much enjoying doing things together as a married couple. We visited with family often and occasionally included them on our adventures. We heard of a new dinner theater called Medieval Times and wanted to go. Vicki and I went for her birthday and our neighbor and friend, Debbie and Vicki’s parents joined us.

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      Vicki’s dad and mom, Debbie, Vicki and Tom

      The theater is housed in a replica 11th-century castle and the show features staged medieval-style tournament games of sword-fighting and jousting. While there, Vicki was knighted and this made her title of Miss Vicki official!

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      Vicki being knighted

      In 1985, I learned of an opening for a Jailer position with the Palm Springs Police Department and applied for it. I tested for this position and a couple of months before our 1st marriage anniversary, I got the job and we moved back to the desert. Vicki told me she was fine with moving back to the desert, that she would go anywhere with me. She asked to take a couple of months off from working before she looked for another job and I agreed.

      I was glad to be back in the desert, as I had not lived there on a full time basis for nearly 6-years. I was also glad to be back near my grandparents as they were having some difficulties in life and I was glad to live close by to help them out whenever I could.

      Vicki and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary by going to Avalon, CA on Catalina Island. The boat was full of boy scouts, most of which were running around and nearly out of control. I remember Vicki saying to me that they were going to get sick and soon they did.

      One by one, the scouts began to go to the side of the boat and got sick. Vicki laughed and said, “I told you so” at which time she too started to get sick and found herself at the side of the boat along with these boys.

      Vicki later told me she gets motion sickness easily when she does not keep her eyes on where we were going. This made it difficult if we went anywhere with people as Vicki could not sit in the back seat for very long before needing to change to the front seat in an effort not to get sick.

      After about 4-months of not working and with the bills starting to pile up, I urged Vicki to go back to work. She quickly found a job but her first day was not what she expected. When Vicki came home, she walked in and said, “I hate you for making me work when I don’t want to and I hate you for making me move to bum-f***-Egypt!” She told me we lived just too far from her family, from all of the good shopping and she did not like it.

      When Vicki calmed down, she apologized and we remained in the desert. It did however take her a few years to get acclimated to living so far away from her family (a 2-hour drive away) and not being so close to all of the “good shopping”. As the years progressed, Vicki and I both grew to dislike driving in the big city and looked forward to returning home to the desert whenever we went to visit our families.

      I had been working the late shift and went to bed early in the morning. One morning after Vicki got up, she went to take a bath and much to her surprise, she found a guest in the tub. I was soon suddenly awakened by Vicki screaming and then jumping on the bed saying, “Thomas, get it! Get it!” When I asked her, “Get what” she used her hands to show the large size of what she saw. Using these hand gestures, she screamed while trying to say, “It is.........big”, “It is...................huge”, “It is a rat!” So, I got out of bed and went to get this oversized rat in the tub. When I arrived, I found a very small and very scared baby field mouse in the corner of the tub shaking from fright!

      I used a small basket to catch the baby mouse in. I took the little thing outside and let it go in the vacant field. Well, I guess it had no desire to be in the field as it turned and ran back towards the house, then under the garage door and in it went. I did not have the heart to tell Vicki it was back in the building before me. Vicki took a photo of me after I caught the mouse as I was her hero. As you can see below, she titled the photo; I am not sure who she was calling a rat!!

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      Vicki and I discussed having more children but I told her I would first like to adopt Jason. We contacted the county