Thomas Ph.D Crochetiere

Our Life Well-Lived


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home were all full and we had to place her into a hospital not far from my parent’s home. We did this and my grandfather moved in with my parent’s to be close to my grandmother. I kept an eye on their place while they were living away.

      Vicki, Jason and I went to Rosarito Beach in Baja California, Mexico for a one week vacation and stayed at a hotel on the beach. Having worked in the jail for as long as I had and dealing with a lot of Spanish speaking inmates, I picked up enough Spanish to get by. While we were in town looking to buy souvenirs, the merchants were trying to take advantage of Vicki while she did her best to haggle. Just when she thought she was ready to buy, I would tell her I had already heard the merchant say in Spanish just how low he would go and the price he last quoted her in broken English was not his rock bottom price.

      Apparently some of the merchants just assumed that us Gringos understood no Spanish and tried to get more money. Vicki quickly picked up on this routine and when she thought she was done negotiating; she looked at me and asked what they said. The merchants also quickly picked up on this routine and stopped haggling with us.

      While returning home from Rosarito, we attempted to get back into the US via customs. When the customs agent asked us if we were US citizens, I simply replied by saying, “Si”. Evidentially the agent did not appreciate my sense of humor and directed us to park our car. We were then instructed to exit the vehicle while they tore it apart. I won’t do that again!

      Chapter five

      1988, Our 5th Year Together

      Having never found Vicki’s ex, the adoption was finalized in a courtroom ceremony. With Vicki’s parents as witnesses, the judge announced that Vicki, Jason and I were a family. Words cannot express how proud I felt at this moment in time.

      Vicki and I decided that now was a good time to enlarge our family. After several months without success, Vicki urged me to go to the doctor to see what “my” problem was. When I asked her why she thought “I” was the problem, she told me that since she already had one child, I must be the problem.

      After undergoing several tests, the doctor called me and said he needed to see me and Vicki right away. When we arrived, he sat us down and started off by asking me about my “drinking problem!” Vicki looked at me and I looked at her and I asked him, “what drinking problem”? The doctor told us that “denial” was normal in this situation and I could get help. He told us he found damage to my liver, that it could have been caused from alcohol abuse and he was concerned.

      Vicki and I assured him I did not have a drinking problem, in fact, I rarely drank alcohol and I had never been drunk before.

      The doctor then asked several medical questions at which time he learned I had contracted Hepatitis when I was 16-years old and this could have caused the damage to my liver. Now that his mind was at ease, he told us the Hepatitis must have damaged me further, to the point it may be nearly impossible for me to father any children.

      This news devastated us. It had always been Vicki’s desire to have more than one child and we were now concerned about Jason being an only child. We spent many long hours discussing our options. We discussed adoption and even in-vitro fertilization with donor sperm. We decided that we did not need to have all the answers just yet and we would take time to plan our next move.

      For our summer trip, Vicki and I dropped Jason off with his Aunt Molly and Uncle Ed and we headed for the Pacific Northwest. We drove through California, through Oregon and into Washington. Vicki’s parents were already in the area while on vacation and we gave them a surprise visit.

      We bought a red truck prior to leaving for this trip but did not tell them what we were driving. They assumed we were driving my brown Camaro and when we drove into the park where they were staying we drove right up without them even realizing it was us.

      We visited Mt. Saint Helens and could not believe our eyes as the devastation was amazing. It looked almost like a bomb had been exploded, destroying everything. We saw the before pictures of what the mountain looked like and it was nothing like what it looks like now.

      With Vicki driving, we left Washington for British Columbia, Canada and Vancouver Island. When customs asked us our citizenship, Vicki replied, “Californians”. I leaned over and said, “U.S. citizens”. The customs guy was not sure if Vicki was screwing with him or not (which she was not).

      We went to a bank to exchange our US dollars for Canadian dollars. We were quite surprised to find out the exchange rate was so different and were happy to get more Canadian dollars for our US dollars. We were new at this and we felt we got a great deal by giving them $100 US for $124 Canadian!

      While on Vancouver Island, we took in the sights at the botanical gardens and toured the beautiful city of Victoria. It resembled photos we had seen of London, England. We did not know it at the time but this began our collection of states and provinces during our many travels yet to come.

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      Vicki in Victoria on Vancouver Island, British Columbia

      After my grandmother had been living in the convalescent hospital near my parent’s house, I found an opening in a hospital not far from my house. We got her transferred there and my grandfather was able to move back home where he was much more comfortable.

      I now spent my days visiting with my grandmother before going to work and often stopping in at my grandfather’s to help out. My grandmother was suffering from dementia and occasionally could not remember who we were. This was very hard on my grandfather but he continued to visit her daily.

      After visiting my grandmother, I left to go to work. I guess I must have been tired because I did not see the rather large Cadillac coming towards me as I pulled out in front of it. You guessed it; The Cad collided into the driver’s side of my car (Vicki’s car)! Fortunately, I was not seriously hurt nor was the other driver. I asked the highway patrol (CHP) officer call Vicki at her work to come pick me up. He told her I was okay.

      As Vicki was arriving, she saw that her car was a total loss and the driver’s side was completely caved in. She panicked fearing that she was lied to by the CHP officer, stopped her car in the middle of the road and ran to where I was sitting. Once she realized I was okay, she took a good look at her destroyed car. She then told me she did not like that car anyway and I was going to buy her a new one. I am sure glad she had her priorities in order!

      As the year progressed, my grandmother got much worse and we were told she did not have much longer to live. While my parents and sister were visiting her during the fall, my grandmother assured us all that she did not plan to die just yet, she wanted to see her new grandchild first. You see, Tina was pregnant with her second child and was expecting in November.

      While working the night shift one night, I received a phone call from Vicki informing me one of Jason’s goldfish had died. She told me it was floating at the top of the fish tank and asked what she should do. I told Vicki to take it out and flush it down the toilet and she said, “Not me!” I then told her to wake Jason up to have him do it but she did not want him to see his fish dead. She told me she would figure something out.

      When I got home, I saw that the fish was no longer in the fish tank and I asked Vicki how she removed it. She simply told me she went next door, woke up the neighbor and had him come over to take it out and flush it. I could not believe she did that, what great neighbors we had!

      Chapter six

      1989, Our 6th Year Together

      My grandmother was very ill in January and was failing fast. While visiting her one evening, she ate a full meal and was able to remember us all. This was a good moment for us as the next day she passed away. Tina had her son, Tim in November and our grandmother was able to see her newest great grandchild before she passed.

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