Our Life Well-Lived. Thomas Ph.D Crochetiere

birthday. After being married for over 55-years, my grandfather lost his wife.

      After we received my grandmother’s ashes, my grandfather told me he wanted to bury her ashes someplace nearby but where they would never be disturbed. Knowing just the place, he and I drove up to a nearby mountain with a great view overlooking the entire area.

      As we drove up the mountain it started to get very cloudy. We then entered the clouds and could barely see more than 20-feet in front of us. As we neared the top of the mountain, the clouds began to clear and we were now above the clouds. My grandfather said to me, “We cannot get any closer to Heaven than this!” I then dug a hole under a pinion pine tree, buried the ashes and said a prayer before leaving.

      I had been up to that spot many times over the years but have never seen the clouds like that day. My grandfather was right, it was like we were as close to Heaven as we could get.

      During the summer, Vicki, Jason and I were invited to go boating at the Colorado River with neighbors John, Debbie and their kids. The boating bug stung Vicki and she told me she wanted to get a boat.

      It was quite a coincidence that another neighbor was selling their pleasure boat near the end of the summer season and Vicki jumped on the deal. She talked me into buying the boat and we took it out a few times before the water got too cold. At first, I told Vicki I did not really want a boat but if she did, we would buy it. I must admit, the boating bug stung me as well. I found myself sitting in the boat out in our back yard several times just to admire it.

      Jason played youth soccer the past couple of years but I was not able to attend a lot of his games and practices due to my work schedule. After a game or two that season, the coach called a team meeting where she announced she was moving and could no longer be the coach. A league official asked the parents if one of them would be willing to take over the team. When no one volunteered, the official said they would more than likely have to disband the team

      Well, I got a phone call at work from Vicki later that evening and she told me she volunteered to coach Jason’s team and I was going to be her assistant! Not playing soccer as a youth and knowing very little about the game, I asked her if she was crazy. She told me no, she had no choice but to step up and take control as no one else wanted to. Vicki told me she was not going to let these kids stop playing.

      Vicki changed the practice days and times so I could participate in at least one practice each week. Depriving myself of a lot of sleep, I was able to attend over half of the games during the season. Both Vicki and I quickly fell in love with the sport and we both enjoyed coaching Jason and the other kids.

      Our team sponsor was the Moose Lodge of Morongo Valley, an organization my grandparents had been strongly involved in and a place where I often visited while living with my grandparents. Vicki hand-made an awesome team banner with the Moose Lodge logo on it and all the players’ names. Vicki was quite the seamstress and did a wonderful job on the banner.

      During Thanksgiving, Vicki, Jason and I picked up my grandfather and took him to my parent’s house to celebrate the holiday. We brought our boat along with us and planned to take it out in the ocean.

      We had a wonderful visit during Thanksgiving and on Friday; we took the boat out in the Pacific Ocean. We launched from San Pedro and took a tour around the Palos Verdes peninsula. I have to admit, this was completely different from the fresh waterways we were used to. The ocean was rougher and a whole lot bigger. We spent several hours out but never strayed too far from the coastline. I did not want to chance breaking down and having the tides take us to who knows where.

      The weekend was a great trip and a good time was had by all. When we dropped my grandfather off on our way home, he told me he loved me. This was strange as I do not recall ever hearing him say this to me before. I told him I loved him also and said I would see him next week.

      One week later, when I stopped by to see my grandfather, I found him dead inside his home. Immediately after finding my grandfather, I walked next door to his neighbors to use their phone. I do not know why I did not use the phone in his house, perhaps I just needed to be with familiar people at that time. After telling the neighbors what happened, I called the sheriff’s department non-emergency number. I then called my father at his work to let him know about my grandfather.

      Here is the weird part, I knew these number’s by heart and did not have to look them up! I know I must have used them in the past but why would I remember these numbers? It is amazing how extra adrenalin can allow you to remember things you normally would not.

      I then called Vicki and asked her to leave work to be with me. She was a great comfort for me during this difficult time. This was also her first experience with death in this situation. Her grandfather passed a few years ago but she did not have a part in it as she was having with me.

      It was obvious he was dead for several days and his mail had not been removed from the mailbox for at least 6-days. It was determined he suffered a massive heart attack and died instantly. To this day, I can still feel how I felt as I called my father to give him this news and asked him to tell my mother.

      I lived in that house for many years and it was hard to believe that both of my grandparents were now gone. I had a lot of fond memories there but I knew that things in life have to come to an end, including life itself.

      My grandfather passed away 11-months after my grandmother. He held up well during those 11-months but I am sure he was much happier to be able to be with her again.

      This Christmas was a very sad and lonely Christmas, having lost both of my grandparents since the last Christmas. I do not know how I would have gotten through these difficult times if it were not for my Miss Vicki. She always seemed to know the right things to say and what to do to help ease my pain.

      Jason’s Uncle Kevin fixed up a little Honda 50-cc motorcycle and he, Vicki’s parents and Vicki’s Grandma Barrett gave it to Jason for Christmas. It may have been a 20-year old bike but Kevin did an awesome job and Jason thought it was the greatest thing ever!

      Jason’s little motorcycle