or we could do all of the work ourselves. The Social Worker told us of a book titled “How to Adopt a Stepchild in California”. We immediately bought this book and I read it. I decided I could do this and started the lengthy process of adoption.
Since Vicki’s ex was absent and we had no idea where he lived, we had to file abandonment papers with the court and start a 1-year search for him to notify him of our intentions. We were told if we did not locate him after one year, we could proceed with the adoption.
Adopting a stepchild was a difficult process but I enjoyed learning how to do all of the paperwork. I kept my eye on the end results and looked forward to the day the courts would verify that Jason was legally mine. You see, from when I first met Jason, I thought of him as my son and all of this was just a formality to me.
For Jason’s fourth birthday, we invited several family members to our place for a celebration. Vicki and I bought Jason a battery operated ride-on jeep and gave it to him while we were all sitting in our living room. Jason was so excited; he jumped in and stepped on the accelerator. We did not have time to react before he collided into Vicki’s Grandpa Wilford! No one was hurt and we all got a big laugh out of this.
We then moved the jeep outside along with Jason’s new red wagon. Jason and nephew Chris talked their Uncle Kevin into pulling them in the wagon and they had a hard time staying inside. You see, Kevin pulled them up and down the hill in our back yard and the wagon would often tip over, dumping both boys out. They both quickly got back in and said, “More”.
While back in the desert, Vicki and I enjoyed living in a house rather than an apartment. We decided to look for our own house to buy, instead of renting. We were pre-qualified and were limited in what we could afford.
It seemed the only house we could afford were those that were too small or too old and in need of a lot of repair. A friend (Bob) had suggested we have a house built, as a new home with no landscaping would be cheaper than a house with established landscaping.
Vicki and I went to several local builders and only one told us he could build us a 3-bedroom, 2-bath house for what we could afford. He told us to pick out a vacant lot; he would purchase it and build our house on it. The builder told us when it was done; he would then sell us the house. Vicki and I found a ½-acre lot that we really liked and in December, construction began.
Chapter four
1987, Our 4th Year Together
While our new house was being built, I found myself there nearly every day before work to watch the progress. Having not seen a house built before, this was all new to me and I enjoyed watching the different steps.
I remember watching the workers frame a wall but forgetting to put the window in the wall or the space for the closet door. When I asked them about it, they quickly told me to mind my own business and continued with what they were doing. I called the builder and explained what had just occurred. He then drove to the site and saw what they had done. When he asked them if they built the wall according to the plans, they said yes. He then asked them where the window and opening for the closet were as they were in the plans and the wall they built did not have them. Before they could come up with an excuse, he reminded them they were building the house for me and told them in his absence, I was to get whatever I wanted and if they had any questions, they could ask him.
During the construction, my parents came to visit and my father and I went to see the new house. I remember as we walked into the back yard area, my father asked me if they would be building a house behind us. When I asked him why he thought this, he pointed out that the area behind my house had been freshly graded and why else would they do this. I told him that this freshly graded area was my back yard. I guess since his house in the city was on a lot of about 1/8th of an acre, my 1/2-acre lot seemed big to him.
In April, the house was completed and Vicki and I moved into our very first house that we owned. What an amazing feeling this was. To own our house, a home that was new and built solely for us. Don’t get me wrong, it was nothing fancy as this was a typical ranch style house but it was ours. We were not in a cookie cutter housing track where all of the houses looked the same.
My brother Tod had been in the US Navy for several years and was assigned to work in the torpedo room of a nuclear submarine. He enjoyed submarine life and we were fortunate they had family day aboard the boat on rare occasions.
Vicki and I along with my dad went to San Diego for a day out on the sub. When we arrived, we had to identify ourselves with a photo ID and then had to sign an oath of loyalty to the United States and promise we would not talk about or disclose anything we may be instructed not to talk about.
Once onboard, we were escorted to our assigned area (the torpedo room of course) and given a safety lecture. We were soon on our way to head out to an unknown location in the Pacific Ocean. While on our way, the crew practiced several drills, including an emergency dive. As we were diving, a water pipe in the torpedo room burst open and water was spraying everywhere. Tod and the crew sprang into immediate action and quickly stopped the leak. They were quite impressive.
Vicki tried her best not to let her motion sickness get the better of her but she was losing the battle. Tod had her lay down in his berthing area. She was happy to be given the opportunity to lie down until she saw his bunk.
His bunk was the middle of three high and looked to measure 3-feet deep by 6-feet long by 3-feet high with a curtain for privacy. Vicki now worried which would be worse, the motion sickness or the claustrophobic berth!
After a short nap, Vicki held up well and was able to walk around during the rest of the trip. The crew prepared a great lunch for us and gave us a tour of the boat. We were able to look out the periscope and just before returning to port, we were able to climb up to the crow’s nest to meet the Captain. Vicki survived and this was a wonderful opportunity that few people get.
For an early summer trip, we returned to Yosemite for a camping trip. We took Jason and brought Vicki’s sister Kari along. We loaded up Vicki’s little car and had very little room left to breathe. We set out for the high country and found a beautiful campground to stay at.
After camping for several days, I was in need of a shower. Not finding any campgrounds with shower facilities, I decided to take a dip in the river. Vicki told me I was crazy but I wanted to feel clean again. I immediately realized why she thought I was crazy as I lowered myself into the freezing water. I thought to myself since I was already in, I would wash myself quickly and get out!
After I thawed out, I did feel cleaner but I do not think I will try that again. My whole body really hurt from the frigid cold water! We then went to the Yosemite Valley where it was much warmer.
A view in the Yosemite Valley
My Grandma Todd had a heart attack while at home and when my Grandpa Todd discovered her, he too had a small heart attack. He called me and I rushed down to their house. They both refused to go to the local hospital and said they would prefer to see their doctors in the city near my parent’s house. I loaded them up in the car and drove the 2 ½-hour drive to their doctor’s office.
We were told my grandmother’s heart attack was serious and she should no longer live at home without around the clock care. We were told if my grandfather attempted to try to take care of her without round the clock help, he would probably suffer another heart attack and would be of no use to her.
Long ago, they promised each other that they would not put each other into a ‘home’. They promised to take care of each other no matter what. Promises aside, if my grandfather attempted to care for my grandmother by himself, it would surely be the death of him. Since I was so close to them both, I told them they had no choice and I made the decision for my grandfather to put my grandmother into a convalescent hospital.
We