of thorns and at this point in my life I can’t love or be loved.
I’m better this way... shattered, with tears in my eyes, with a heart full of holes, but still me. In time, I’m learning to love again and I’m learning not to create a world in my mind that will never be a reality.
I’ll invent new smiles, explore what I have yet to discover about myself, travel to new places and learn another language. I’ll do whatever it takes to get out of my comfort zone. I’ll let everything flow, I’ll commit to myself full time, and I’ll wait however long it takes until self-love takes effect.
If I have learnt anything in the course of my life, it is that sometimes the loudest scream you can give is to stay silent... giving time to time is the best antidote.
“Patience and perseverance”.
Deep down, what we sometimes believed to be correct really isn’t and on certain occasions the thought becomes clouded in the midst of anger and pain, impotence and resentment, emptiness and lack of colors.
Everything leads us to this test, paying in kind or being better than revenge, believing in karma, and letting loyalty hit harder than a hasty reaction.
“That is bravery”.
TEST OF FIRE
It didn’t hurt that you broke me into a thousand pieces. What did hurt were the time, the effort and the smiles that I gave you. I gave you so much and received so little, but life is like that and maybe it was a matter of time before I realized that you didn’t deserve the best of me. It is easy to believe in happy endings and eternal tales when everything begins, but it is not always like that: many times we don’t have the ability to see beyond a smile or a kiss.
Emotional attachment makes us weak and unable to do what is necessary to get rid of what hurts us. But we always reach that stage of asking ourselves for forgiveness for all the times we suffered from trusting someone else before ourselves.
I learned that before asking for forgiveness it is better to learn not to fail.
Never let yourself become what someone did to you; others will suffer if you do. Despite the tumbles and the tests, those who remain themselves are the ones we should admire, because we all have ways to return the pain that was done to us, but choosing not to do it is what keeps us away from darkness.
Difficult circumstances, disappointments, tears of suffering, and falls make us grow and give us the opportunity to reflect, to be better people and so enlarge our souls.
“Return pain with love”.
At some point in our lives we feel devoted to a love so immense that we feel that it doesn’t fit in our chest.
At the same time we know that it is one of those impossible loves and that we must move away, that although our heart resists, we must do the unthinkable to be able to let go and continue even if the soul remains, for a lifetime, steeped in memories.
RUPTURE
They will say it is confusion, but it isn´t.
Trying to stop wanting what you have always wanted is harder than it seems, as well as trying to let go of what matters most to you.
When the heart loves, it doesn’t know of reasons, the thoughts become stronger than the desire to live, until that point of no return is reached where love becomes a curse and condemnation and in the end it is impossible to stop loving no matter how much you want to forget.
It is as tragic as it is beautiful to know that I’ll be better off without you.
It also hurts not knowing that there is a way out, an escape from this life that I had to live with and without you at the same time.
I live in a rift, a reality in which I must fight with myself trying to get you out of my life. The contradiction here is that I fight to forget you while the memory of your wings is the only one that soothes my pain, and I still cling to you.
And I don’t know if this loop that repeats itself with you has an end. Maybe it does, maybe tomorrow I’ll forget you and move on, but right now I love you with all my soul, and it hurts a lot to know that I don’t have you here with me.
“Things that cannot be removed”.
It is easy to show strength to those who don’t know what we really feel. We can deny and evade thousands of lights at night, but in the end we are aware that we can’t block the sunlight with one finger.
There are things that can’t be hidden, or denied... like love.
Love governs us and there is no dictatorship that lasts, there is no eternal peace, but there is that war that lives in the gaze of those who love each other, those who have each other, those who take care of each other, those who are together despite the distance.
Because love knows no excuses, it doesn’t know faces or colors.
The truth is that love knows everything, we can’t go against him, but he can go against us.
I WANT TO, BUT I CAN’T
Despite all the stabbing, I wouldn’t be able to get you out of my life.
I have never been a fan of simplicity, I was always attracted to the impossible, to what hurts, the constancy of believing that I can be happy once and for all.
Although, to tell you the truth, I have lied to myself many times trying not to make you own my guilt.
I could walk away and ask you to stay away, but that would be like telling the sky to keep raining and letting the gray clouds stay.
I can say that I don’t love you, that you have never been important, that you have never hurt, and that I don’t think about you at night, but that would be like saying that the wound doesn’t hurt even with the dagger still stuck.
So I’m a hopeless case, a bullet without warning, a shipwreck in the middle of the sea, another shooting star in your sky, only sometimes I forget that you are and have always been my universe and my favorite place.
“Longing for wings, wanting to fly”.
Everyone understands love in their own way. The truth is that love lives everywhere: in the man in the park who offers a flower to the sad girl on the sidewalk, in the lady in the cafeteria who prepares the sandwich better than mom, the boy who missed all the trains only to go on the train with the girl he likes even though he still doesn’t dare to talk to her, the lady who gets up early every Monday to have coffee with her husband and continues with that fresh summer look as if it were the first day, in this young poet who writes these lines and tries to order his excited emotions, and in you who are looking for magic elsewhere without realizing that magic is you every time because when you smile you infect whoever is close.
In a clash of shoulders and some books on the floor, in that electric tenderness at a first gesture, in that desire to say everything in an instant without even knowing each other.
Now you understand that love lives everywhere and that it can be born in a second and live forever until the last heartbeat, until the last breath, until the last tear.
DEAR LOVE
I have seen love up close, I have seen it in the great battles of my soul, I have seen it on the corner I pass each day before having a coffee and I have also seen it making its retreat, with headwinds and with downwind. Love never loses, it