deal with him by myself! And don’t poke your way into my business. Do not teach me how to live.”
There was no love for people in this man. His son just fell into a puddle, and the evil father nearly killed his son for it. If I continued bicker fest with him and would say: “You squeezed your son’s throat and he had nothing to breathe, you could kill him, he hardly breathed, and still stammers very much,” I hardly could hear an excuse in response, because there was no love and intelligence in the eyes of this man, but there was some kind of discontent and anger. He did not know what an apology and forgiveness were. He could not do it. Therefore, I went to my home with great sadness, pity and love for this child and his mother. Looking on the behavior of his son I realized that this beating was not at all like cultivation of personality and it was not for the first time as well.
In the evening I told this to the baby’s mother. I heard in response: “Thank you.” Afterwards the door was closed right in front of my face. Her husband was sick with anger, great irritation, hatred, psychosis, heart blindness and frivolity. When I looked into his eyes, I was very scared for a few seconds. I understood that this false and unacceptable “cultivation of personality” happened not for the first time. Natalia knew about father’s attitude to the child, and because of this she had a constant depressed state. The further history of this family is not known to me, since after a while my family and I left this small suburb and moved to a big city.
The evil mind constantly told me: “Look at this father and all the men and understand that they were always the same. Men are not like you. Here is the best example of an insane father. Although your father is much worse than the one who suffocates his children. He, like your father, just never had a mind. After all, it is not necessary to be a genius to think that a little child does not have an iron neck. All men always lacked of mind. They do not know how to get into problems like women. And all the women themselves are just like some zombies, who always regret someone and love immensely, but as soon as somebody steps on toes, they are ready just to eat their offender. So it is not necessary to love people who just do not deserve to be loved. Loving people is a bad idea. This is the real torture…”
All these thoughts are just one of a thousand images of the evil thoughts that dwell in my head. But it is not only these false ideas that do not have logic, which try to deprive me of love, but hatred, pride, resentment, suspiciousness, fears, inexperience, stupidity and many other things, fight against me. But I know that people regret that they hated their near and dear people and strangers, and also regret that they did something evil to them. But if a person regrets about all that bad things, then why should we speak or do something bad throughout our life? Sooner or later every evil word, every evil glance, every rejection, every evil feeling and thought comes back to one’s memory. People regret that they did not love their near and dear. The logic is simple: you must renounce all evil and stick only to the good.
I know that some people who have lost their loved ones are ashamed of the people present at the funeral because they were completely wrong with their loved ones. But such a person hopes that other people will not understand this shame or will think that he loved his near and dear. People can feel this shame only for a few hours. Someone can regret about it for a few weeks, someone may suffer for several months or years, but someone can say: “I do not regret at all because I loved my near and dear very much and never offended him. I’m happy that I gave him only strong love. I’m happy with love. It is truth and light. Man left us rich and full of our love. He was really happy.”
It is also surprising that some people can feel shame or embarrassment for all their lives not for lack of love, but vice versa for love. Such a man boasts with everything but not with love. Such a person says: “Look, I’m so smart, strong, beautiful, rich and so on.” But you will not hear from such a person such words as: “I am happy that I love. Look! I can teach you how to love! My life is filled with love! I love and I’m happy!!! “But some people, for some reason, never said such words in their lives neither aloud, nor deep inside in their hearts.
Of course, not all people live their lives without love. There are people who understand what life and love is, and what life is for love and vice versa. But indifference, anger, selfishness, resentment, curses and insults, rage, irritation, psychosis and much more unnecessary evil change take place in a person who does not have love inside. All this evil is struggling to supersede love, which is the basis of everything that exists around.
Many people, including that very friend of mine, want to turn back time to correct what was done or said, and also want to do something they have never did before. They also want a person to come to life even for a minute, to say how much they love him.
But lost time is never found again, so it is needed to love constantly. A person who has a desire to love has every chance to give this love to other people, since life is not some kind of joke. If someone thinks that it’s possible to joke with life, then he is very deeply mistaken. There is no place for frivolity in life.
If you take someone’s life and stretch it, for example, for sixty years, then by what formula would each person live this life? Someone’s formula for life can look like this: “Pride + anger + insulting humiliating words + irritation + quarrels + cries + slander + deception + curses + violence + revenge + unforgiveness + insolent ridicule + lies for benefits + the rest multiple madness = a bad and unloving person. “And only the last few minutes of this formula people can give to that very love that they probably never knew before. Such people regret that they spent their entire lives without love and did not like other people. Why did a man who had been living for sixty years never think about love? Maybe someone would like to love, but simply ashamed of this love and could not just look cherishingly in somebody’s eyes or could not move beyond his pride, waiting for the first step from the other person. But where does the embarrassment or pride go when a gravely ill person, dying in his bed, does not hesitate to say to his children and his wife such words: “Forgive me for being so mean to you. I love you very much.” Where does the shame and pride of man disappear? But if a person simply loved other people, he would simply endlessly enjoy his love which comes from his heart. And of course this love would be enjoyed by all the people around him! The question arises: “Who creates a love formula that does not have love?” Of course, it is created by the person himself. But an intelligent person does not create a formula of evil and does not yield to it. A clever person creates a formula with love.
Evil and stupidity go together, just like love and mind always hold hands and do not let each other go even for a second.
Many people want to have this love and peace. And such people can deprive themselves and other people of love because of the simple fear of getting reproach or ridicule. Or they just close this love in themselves because of fear of being inflicted by other people, any violence or humiliating proud offenses. Or a person is simply afraid that he will be called a kind handicraft teacher from a good children’s fairy tale, and they will not respect him for his good deeds, merciful love and a kind heart. And how can it look like? Just like that:
A friend of mine married a former prisoner. His problem was that he ceased to open his heart to people and stopped talking and smiling with others. He simply closed his heart and turned-on some kind of protection, because of what he saw and tested on him before. I asked him: “Why do you always walk with an angry face and don’t smile to people, don’t greet them with love? When you get to know a new person, it seems that you see an enemy soldier in him/her. You try to find out and finally find only bad qualities in him/her, and then you stand and chew over all of the evil human psychology and nature. And