Stage Two: Doubt and Denial
| Score | |
| 1.I’m more critical of my partner than I used to be. Even if I don’t actually say I’m annoyed, I’m sure my tone and facial expressions communicate my disapproval. | ______ |
| 2.More and more, my partner is criticizing me for just being me. | ______ |
| 3.I need my own time sometimes; being around my partner can get on my nerves. | ______ |
| 4.I don’t tell my friends or family about my concerns with my partner, because I’m sure we’ll move past them soon. No need to alarm my loved ones. | ______ |
| 5.It’s time for me to reconnect with some of the friends I put on hold earlier in our relationship. | ______ |
| 6.Sometimes I really want to argue with my partner, but then I remember how happy we are, so I decide that whatever’s bugging me really isn’t that big of a deal. | ______ |
| 7.When my partner complains about something small, like a mess I’ve made or something I’ve forgotten to do, I tend to take it as a personal insult. I feel defensiveness creeping in. | ______ |
| 8.Some of the things my partner does are just silly. Why isn’t my partner more rational about things — like I am? | ______ |
| 9.I sometimes worry we disagree too much, but when I see other couples arguing, I feel a lot better. After all, we aren’t nearly as miserable as they are! | ______ |
| 10.Our sex life is decent, but I keep waiting to feel the kind of passion I once did. | ______ |
| 11.We aren’t “sexting” each other nearly as much as we used to. In fact, our texts aren’t even flirtatious. | ______ |
| 12.There are times I wonder if I chose the wrong partner. But I know that’s just me being overdramatic. | ______ |
| 13.Our communication isn’t working the way it used to. I feel like we need to “spell things out” to each other now rather than understand them intuitively. | ______ |
| 14.I think about being single more often — and sometimes even wish I were. | ______ |
| 15.I feel like our libidos are out of sync — either my partner wants more sex than I do or vice versa. | ______ |
| 16.I’m less likely to spend a lot of money on my partner just for fun; now I only do so on special occasions. | ______ |
| 17.I’m more likely to flirt with someone else now, just for fun and to see what else is out there. | ______ |
| 18.I find it hard to comfort my partner when they are upset over something I personally think is no big deal. | ______ |
| 19.I still think my partner is attractive, but no longer irresistible. | ______ |
| 20.I pretend to like things my partner is interested in, and I’m a bit worried I’ll never actually enjoy them, even if we do them together. | ______ |
| TOTAL SCORE | ______ |
Stage Three: Disillusionment
| Score | |
| 1.Premeditated romance is rare between us — date nights, random gifts, and other gestures of love aren’t things we do for each other anymore. | ______ |
| 2.I seldom feel as though I’m the number-one priority for my partner. | ______ |
| 3.Right now I just need to make sure that I’m emotionally safe and happy, with or without my partner. | ______ |
| 4.Nothing new is happening in our relationship, and it’s driving me crazy! We’re tediously predictable in our interactions and routines. | ______ |