_____Peace
_____Joy
_____Self-Worth and Self-Esteem
_____Warmth
_____Friendliness
_____Positive Mental Health
_____Sense of Meaning and Purpose in Life
_____Trust
_____Empathy
_____Love of Others
_____Love of Self
_____Attentiveness
Now add up the 20 numbers on this checklist to get your
Total Positive Score_____(the total score ranges from 0 to 80).
Now subtract your Total Negative Score from your Total Positive Score to get your
TOTAL SCORE_____(this score will range from -80 to 80).
The higher your score, the more likely you are a very forgiving person. The lower your score, the more likely it is that you are holding on to unforgiveness. As you know by now, being chronically unforgiving has a number of negative effects in our lives. The correlations are summarized in diagram 1.
Diagram 1. Summary of Relationship between Forgiveness, Beliefs, and Emotions and Well-Being
Forgiving people tend to be much more optimistic, hopeful, and trusting and have high levels of self-worth and positive beliefs. Forgiving people are also much likelier to be warmer, friendlier, loving, peaceful, and joyful. They have a greater self-esteem and self-worth, are more empathetic, and have a greater sense of meaning and purpose in life.
On the other hand, people who are unforgiving are much more likely to experience emotional distress in general and, specifically, higher levels of depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, and resentment. They are also more likely to be hostile, vengeful, and vulnerable and to frequently ruminate and obsess over perceived hurts. Unforgiving people also have more physical symptoms, according to the scientific research, and are more interpersonally and emotionally sensitive than forgiving people.
You may experience all or some of these negative feelings and beliefs and some or all of the positive ones. Wherever you are is okay. We're just trying to identify your starting point. This says nothing about your character or whether you are a good person. It is so important not to judge yourself.
I encourage you to come back to these checklists and fill them out weekly or monthly to see where you are and how much progress you have made as we go through the exercises in the book together.
Subjective Happiness Scale (SHS)
This scale was developed by Sonya Lyubomirsky and is widely used by happiness researchers. For each of the following statements and/or questions, please circle the point on the scale that you feel is most appropriate in describing you.
An average score on the SHS questionnaire is 19 or 20. A low score is in the range of 12 to 15. A very low score is less than 12. A high score is in the range of 24 to 26. A very high score would be 27 or 28. The higher the number, the greater your overall happiness.
Lyubomirsky, S., and H. Lepper, “A Measure of Subjective Happiness: Preliminary Reliability and Construct Validation,” Social Indicators Research 46, no. 2 (February, 1999): 137–155. Adapted slightly with kind permission from Springer Science+Business Media.
Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS)
This scale was developed by Ed Diener and his colleagues. It has been very widely used for many years by researchers in the field of subjective well-being. I recommend you take it weekly or at least every four or five weeks. My clients retake it every five weeks.
Please write down the number that most accurately reflects your opinions in the space next to each item.
_____ 1. In most ways my life is close to ideal.
_____ 2. The conditions of my life are excellent.
_____ 3. I am satisfied with my life.
_____ 4. So far I have gotten the important things I want in life.
_____ 5. If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.
Add up the numbers from the five items to get your
Satisfaction with Life (SWLS) Total Score _____
Your score will be a gauge of your overall satisfaction: 31 to 35 is Extremely satisfied, 26 to 30 is Satisfied, 21 to 25 is Slightly satisfied, 20 is Neutral, 15 to 19 is Slightly dissatisfied, 10 to 14 is Dissatisfied, and 5 to 9 is Extremely dissatisfied. The higher the number, the greater the life satisfaction.
Diener, E., R. A. Emmons, R. J. Larsen, and S. Griffin, “The Satisfaction with Life Scale,” Journal of Personality Assessment 49, no. 1 (1985): 71–75. Reproduced by permission of Taylor and Francis, LLC, www.taylorandfrancis.com.
The Gratitude Questionnaire (GQ6)
This scale was developed by Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons and their colleagues. Again, it is widely used by researchers in the field of subjective well-being, happiness, and positive psychology. I recommend retaking it weekly or at least every four or five weeks. My clients retake it every five weeks.
Using the scale below as a guide for questions 1 through 4, write a number beside each statement to indicate how much you agree with it.
_____ 1. I have so much in life to be thankful for.
_____ 2. If I had to list everything in life I had to be grateful for, it would be a very long list.
_____ 3. I am grateful for a wide variety of people.
_____ 4. As I get older, I find myself more able to appreciate the people, events, and situations that have been part of my life history.
Using the scale below as a guide for questions 5 and 6, write a number beside each statement to indicate how much you agree with it.
_____ 5. When I look at the world, I don't see much to be grateful for.
_____ 6. Long amounts of time go by before I feel grateful to something or someone.
Add up your scores for questions 1 through 6 to get your
Gratitude Questionnaire (GQ6) Total Score_____(this number should be between 6 and 42).
An average score for the GQ6 Scale is 37. A low score is 29 to 30. A very low score is below 29. A high score is 40 to 41. A very high score is 42. The higher the number, the more grateful