back toward her cell, but the other way. Hope grew in her, and adrenalin gave her extra strength. She needed it, because the guard kept moving, down some stairs and along yet another, much lighter corridor. Her legs started to wobble, and she thought she wouldn’t make it when finally he opened one more door.
She walked through, and just like that, she was outside. Her eyes were blinded by the misty north German sunshine, the first natural light Kate had seen since she’d arrived. As she blinked and looked around, she recognized the smell, too; the smell of East Germany, a combination of soft coal fumes, Trabi exhaust, and who knew what other carcinogens. When she’d lived in Leipzig that smell had always assaulted her senses, but now she rejoiced because of what it wasn’t: It wasn’t the smell of the prison; of mold and damp and urine and feces…but especially of fear and pain.
A big, black Soviet car was parked in front of her, and the guard gestured to her to get in.
Sitting in the back seat, Kate fought back tears, not only from exhaustion and pain, but also because she was starting to believe the end was near. Leaning her head against the seat and fighting to relax her tense muscles, she concentrated on breathing the red in and pushing it back out.
Without realizing it, she dozed and only awoke when the car stopped abruptly. Out the window she could see the check point. Oh, my God, she almost shouted! Is it true? Willing herself not to cry, she sat until the door opened, and she was ordered out. On that warm July day in East Berlin she stood gazing across to the west, only a few feet away.
Someone told her to walk, and she compelled herself to put one foot in front of the other, heading west. The barrier was raised, and when she walked under, she passed her counterpart going east; each ignored the other. In front of her she saw Holder next to his big, black Mercedes, waiting. Thank God, oh God. It’s over. She believed for the first time.
When she thought back on the experience later, she shook her head, amazed how wrong she was. Only act one was over. The rest of the drama was still to come.
Chapter Two
When she reached the western side, Holder came up to meet her. He took her arm and guided her into his car. Once she was seated, he motioned to the driver, and the car pulled away.
She leaned back, eyes shut. Holder watched his operative for a few moments, appalled at how bad she looked. Not only was Taylor almost skeletally thin, but her face was ashen and drawn. He’d expected her to be affected, but this was beyond anything he’d imagined.
“Kathryn,” Holder said, “are you okay?”
She sucked in a deep breath. Even now he calls me Kathryn, damn him. She hated to be called Kathryn, and he knew it. Let it go, she told herself. She said softly: “No. I’m not okay.”
“Driver,” Holder ordered, “take us to the post hospital, fast.”
The driver turned left and drove toward Dahlem and the US Army Hospital Berlin.
“Shit, Holder! It took you long enough,” she muttered after a few minutes, keeping her eyes tightly shut.
“It was very complicated, Kathryn. We did our best.” He kept his voice neutral.
In her head she tried to decide whether he was being genuine or mocking her. Without looking at him she said: “If this was your best, we’re in big trouble.”
Normally he wouldn’t have taken this from one of his people. He let her get away with it because of the circumstances. She’d better not push her luck, though, Holder thought.
Still, he reflected, it was good to hear her bitch at him. It told him that she was the same Taylor, and he needed her to be the same woman. She’d always been prickly, hard to manage. But she was one of the best operatives he had, probably one the best he’d ever had. He wanted that op back.
Anyway, he justified it to himself, I really DID try to get her out, until events got in the way. For Christ’s sake, she knows she’s not the only problem I have. But she could become a very big problem, depending on her answer to the next question.
“Kathryn, did you give them anything? You have to tell me, RIGHT NOW!” he ordered.
Taylor had been arrested for funneling money to East German dissidents while she was working undercover as an English teacher in Leipzig. She HAD been funneling money to the dissidents, but she had also been involved in several top secret missions in other Eastern Bloc countries. Holder doubted the other side had found out about those missions, because if they had, they wouldn’t have released her. But if she had made a deal with them right at the end; if she had provided information in exchange for her freedom now, major operations could be compromised and agents put in danger.
While Holder was considering Agency problems, Kate was fuming. God, how I loathe this son of a bitch, Kate was thinking. After leaving me there all that time…. How can he even CONSIDER for one second that I gave up anything? Would I be in this fucking shape if I’d HELPED them? Have I EVER done anything to make him think that I could turn traitor?
At the same time, a very small voice in Kate’s head whispered that she HAD been at the end of her ability to resist in her war with those men. If they had offered something for her and her baby, might she have given them the information she had kept so well guarded? But Kate didn’t like doubts, so she ignored them and directed her anger at Holder.
Opening her eyes and turning her head toward him, she snapped: “For God’s sake, Holder! No, I didn’t give them anything. How could you…?”
“Kathryn, stop with the righteous indignation, okay? Yes, I DO think you could give them something. You’re not Superwoman. You can be broken, too,” Holder growled at her.
“And you think I’d tell you if I had given them anything? I might not be Superwoman, but I’m also not STUPID!” she spit back at him.
Holder realized that, too. But he’d had to ask, because sometimes people gave away exactly what they were trying to hide if you got them at a vulnerable moment, and Taylor was definitely vulnerable. He decided to let it drop…for now.
“Tell me what happened,” he demanded.
“I don’t know. Haven’t YOU figured it out yet? How long has it been? Months!”
“Six months. It’s been six months. And we haven’t heard a word. Zip. Nada.”
She was silent for a few moments, remembering that freezing day in January when she’d answered the door to find three Stasi men outside her apartment. They didn’t even let her get her coat before taking her away. After obsessing about it almost every day she was in the prison, she still did not comprehend how she could have been so oblivious. “I had no clue that they were coming for me. There was no warning.” At least no warning she had recognized, she castigated herself yet again.
“Who do you think dropped the dime on you?”
“I don’t KNOW, Holder. The only one who knew everything was Pastor Wertheim. I’m SURE it wasn’t him.” She stopped, needing to collect enough energy to go on. “What have you heard about the group since I was arrested? Did the Stasi take anyone else?”
“We haven’t heard anything,” he said with a shrug.
“What do you mean you haven’t heard anything?” she cried incredulously. “You must have some assets on the ground. What are they telling you?”
He raised his voice. “I told you! We haven’t heard anything.”
“Do you at least know if Wertheim is still leading the group at the church? That is easy to find out. If he is, then he is either the one who gave me up, or…. Something else is going on.” She was expecting answers from Holder.
“Once more, Kathryn. WE DON’T KNOW!” he intoned wearily. Taylor was grating on his nerves, as usual.
Kate gave up. It was ridiculous. Had they stopped caring what was going on in Leipzig? What the hell did that mean? Those people were IMPORTANT!