one now, either. Especially THIS one,” she said bitterly.
“Oh?” Janice said with a touch of irony in her voice. “I saw how you looked when Dr. Austin suggested the abortion.”
Kate shrugged and nodded slightly.
Janice continued: “Are you wondering how can you not want it and want it at the same time?”
“Yes, I am.” Kate was thankful that someone understood.
“Well, your circumstances are different than most women’s, so I can’t say that what you’re feeling is normal, can I? But every pregnant woman has many conflicting emotions. That IS normal, believe me.”
Kate reached out and took Janice’s hand. Janice knew why. She would hold Kate’s hand as long as the other woman wanted.
Outside Austin had arranged for the ultrasound test and was about to contact his German colleague when Holder approached him. He had been pacing the hallway, waiting irritably for word on Kate’s condition.
“Doctor, how is she?” he demanded.
“That’s confidential, sir.”
“No, it is not. She’s one of my operatives, and I have the right to know everything about her. Now, tell me,” Holder said sharply, commanding obedience.
Austin wasn’t sure about these rules, but he accepted that this man WAS sure. “She’s in bad shape. She was severely injured. There is some infection. She’s anemic and grossly underweight. It seems like they never gave her enough to eat, or maybe she couldn’t eat because of the pregnancy.”
Holder had been checking off the conditions in his mind, but the last one…. He was stunned. “Wait, her WHAT? She’s pregnant?”
“She didn’t tell you? Yes, she’s pregnant.”
“How long?”
“About four months, give or take.”
“So it couldn’t be…?”
“No, it happened in the prison.”
Damn, Holder swore to himself. He thought again about how long she had been in the Stasi prison. What must she have gone through? Kate Taylor was a very good agent, but she was also a loner who kept herself to herself. In fact, he didn’t remember even a hint of her and a man. Her treatment in the prison must have been…. Well, it must have been torture, exactly as they planned.
Switching to a topic he was more comfortable with, he asked himself grimly how the other side had dared treating one of his people this way? He would not forget; down the road, someone would pay.
“What’s the plan?” Holder asked the young doctor.
Austin explained about the ultrasound and the surgery.
“Who’s doing the surgery?”
“We have a local doctor on call. I’m going to….”
“Forget it. I’ll get a specialist in from Landstuhl.”
“But….”
“Listen to me, doc! She’s my operative. I’ll take care of it.” Holder was adamant.
Austin gaped, then sucked in a breath and capitulated. “Sure, fine. I’ll get the ultrasound started.”
Holder was already headed to the phone to call Dr. Margaret Fremont at the large US Army Regional Medical Facility at Landstuhl, in the American zone of West Germany. Maggie was an old friend of Holder’s. Actually, maybe not a friend. He was sure she didn’t like him much. But he knew she’d help. After a few phone misdirections, he got Maggie on the line.
“Holder, I’m busy. What do you want?” she barked at him.
“I need you here in Berlin….”
Irritated, Fremont began: “Impossible, Holder. I’m….”
“Maggie, you’re coming to Berlin. One of my operatives needs surgery, and you’re the one to do it.” For him there was no other option.
“Come on. There must be someone else. I’m an OB/GYN!” Fremont said, incredulity clear in her voice.
“Look. Kathryn Taylor has been in an East German prison for the last six months. They hurt her really badly. She’s pregnant. She needs the BEST treatment. That’s you, Maggie.”
Fremont sighed. “Oh, for God’s sake, Holder! I can’t exactly say no, can I? Who’s treating her there?”
“Young doctor named Austin.”
“Let me talk to him.”
Austin was at the nurses’ station conferring with the ultrasound technician. Holder waved him over. Austin took the receiver and briefed Fremont on Taylor’s condition and his treatment plan. In answer to his question, Fremont okayed a low dose of Demerol for her pain. After she told him she’d be there later in the afternoon, Austin handed the phone back to Holder.
On her end Fremont had listened carefully, appalled at what Austin reported and certain that the woman needed her immediately. “Holder, it’s 2:00 now. I can probably get there by about 5:00. Be at Tempelhof at 5:00.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you then. And Maggie, thanks.”
“You owe me one, Holder,” Fremont said, just to keep the record straight.
“Right.”
Chapter Four
The ultrasound technician had set up the equipment, and he was ready to go. Austin and Janice were standing by. Kate had watched the preparations with great trepidation. Not only did she hate the idea of people looking inside her body; she also didn’t know how she’d react to seeing the baby, and she abhorred the idea of people glimpsing her soul.
Ah, there was that word again, she thought: soul. Would she have to look into her soul, too?
As she pushed these unwelcome thoughts away, Janice moved the hospital gown back to expose her abdomen, and the technician ran the scanner over her skin. As he was working, Kate thought again how little she knew about babies. She didn’t even know where the baby was positioned. The technician pointed to the screen. “There, you see?”
Kate looked and was nonplused in wonder, for she could actually see something that looked like a baby; tiny, but a baby. Inside HER body.
“Can you tell if it’s a girl or a boy?”
The technician looked carefully. “See, right there. A penis.” He looked up at Kate. “A boy.”
Shit, WHY does it have to be a boy, she cried to herself? Oh, God, a boy could turn out like his father!
After they measured and analyzed, Austin said: “Looks like he’s in the fifteenth week, give or take a few days. You were pretty close when you said four months. He looks pretty normal.”
Once the technician had packed up his equipment and left, Austin addressed Kate again.
“Kate, now that we know that the baby’s okay, we can give you some Demerol for the pain. Do you have any questions for me?” Austin asked as Janice left to arrange for the medication.
Kate shook her head. She had more questions than she could put in words, but she didn’t trust them to this doctor. Austin nodded and walked out. Kate was alone for the first time since she’d arrived. Still, she had no time to consider everything that had just happened for she was using all her energy to control her breathing, waiting for the Demerol and relief from the constant pain.
A few minutes later, Janice returned with the medication. She added it to the IV drip and waited until the pain lessened and Kate’s eyes drifted shut. Once she appeared to doze, the nurse went to attend to her other duties.
Kate did doze for a few minutes, but she couldn’t rest.