When you let other people decide how you dress, what you buy or how you spend your time, you give them power. Power over your life that would actually be better off in your own hands. But if you take full responsibility, you have full power. It's entirely up to you.
3. Measure for more self-confidence: Leave the comfort zone
In my coaching I determine their comfort zone together with my clients. The comfort zone is the nest of habits that we have built up over many years and in which we make ourselves comfortable. Always the same people, places, activities, beliefs, etc. Since this term is often misunderstood, I will give you a concrete example of the classic comfort zone, as we know it from everyday life:
Our example person is called Lisa. Lisa is 30 years old, working and a rather introverted person. She would claim of herself to be little self-confident and would like to change something about it. If you look at their everyday lives, you see that they follow a pattern. The respective days are very similar to each other and there is very little variety in them. Lisa goes to work regularly, comes home afterwards, takes care of the household and then makes herself comfortable in front of the television or in the armchair with a book. She has known her friends for a very long time and if she spends time with them, then either on the phone, at her or her friends' home or in her favourite pub. She is rather sceptical towards new acquaintances and is afraid to dissolve inner blockades or to fight long existing fears. Instead, she incorporates detours into her life that avoid confrontations and unpleasant situations. It's hard for her to get involved with new things. She doesn't like trying out new foods, reading books that don't fit her favourite genre, or testing new sports.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Can a few of these points also be applied to your situation? If so, then that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's convenient to set up a comfort zone. But you pay a high price for it: it costs us self-confidence and above all self-confidence.
The happiness and self-confidence you long for are outside your comfort zone. The whole thing is based on a simple thought: if all these things were already within your comfort zone, you wouldn't crave them. However, since you are not satisfied, but want to change something, you will have to break new ground. You have to dissolve the boundaries and leave the good old comfort zone. Not for nothing is there a saying that says, "Life begins outside the comfort zone."
Bring variety into your everyday life. Meet new people. Try different sports or a new hobby. Look at a movie you wouldn't have been interested in otherwise. Visit a restaurant with your friends where you have never been before. Don't go to the cinema for the umpteenth time on a Saturday night, but go billiards or bowling. Take part in a crime thriller dinner and interact with complete strangers. Face unpleasant challenges and even your fears.
Why would you do all that? Because all this takes courage. Because it not only enriches you with new experiences, but also encourages you to trust yourself. Every single time you venture out of the comfort zone and experience something satisfying, you strengthen your self-confidence. You notice that not only have you suffered no damage, but you have also had fun, learned new things and have grown a bit as a personality. This will give you the strength and courage to have more positive experiences that will strengthen your self-confidence even more!
You have to try some things in life to find out what you really like or don't like. Think of your favourite food and a dish that you find terrible. In order to find out what you particularly like or don't like, you had to try these things for the first time. They got involved in something new. In the same way, there are still unbelievably many things outside your comfort zone that you will love. They just don't know it yet. Of course, you will also try things that you don't like after all. However, this is part of the learning process and also strengthens your self-confidence: one more thing that you can say with certainty that does not suit you or your personality.
Never believe that you have heard, seen or got to know everything. Life is unbelievably extensive and multi- faceted. We can't "finish learning." Every day there is something new to experience and discover. The whole world is your comfort zone. Explore them!
4. Measure for more self-confidence: Cultivate what is unique
Warren Buffet is probably the most famous investor and one of the financially wealthiest people in the world. When asked about the secrets of his success at his major shareholder meetings, he likes to tell the story of the genie in the bottle and the car. She goes like this:
Imagine being 18 years old again. During a walk you will meet a genie in a bottle. He says: "Since you have found me, I will grant you a wish. I'll give you a car of your choice, no matter how expensive it costs. You can choose which one you want. The whole thing has a little catch, though: it'll be the only car you'll ever drive. You can't sell it or trade it for another. There will always be this one. So choose wisely and make a good decision." They think for a while and weigh different factors. Finally you make a choice and share your decision with the genie in the bottle. He nods briefly, disappears and where he was before, there is now the brand new car that you have wished for. You are pleased, but you also know that you will have to handle it responsibly in the future. After all, it should accompany you all your life. So take good care of it. They wash it regularly, fill it up with the best fuels, do not miss any maintenance and do not stress it beyond its limits. In addition, you can have even the smallest damage repaired immediately. In this way, you will make sure that this one car will remain loyal to you all your life and that you will always enjoy it.
This story is a symbol that should open our eyes. The irony behind this is that we would be willing to maintain a car impeccably just because we know that we can never get another. However, we often neglect our own body, although it is much more important and truly unique. It is not a desired object from a story, but actually our most important tool to cope with everyday life. Your body is the home of your consciousness or your soul. Since you identify with your body when you look in the mirror, it is directly related to your self-confidence.
This is not just about aesthetics, personal taste or pleasing others. It's about feeling good in your skin. It's about health and personal satisfaction. If you are dissatisfied with your health or the shape of your body, this will also have a negative effect on your self-confidence. But you like to look in the mirror, you like to identify with what you see. You are proud of yourself and thus strengthen your self-acceptance and self-confidence.
Your body is a status symbol. You can't buy, steal or win a beautifully shaped body in a lottery. You'll have to do something about it yourself. This simple fact is firmly anchored in the subconscious of every human being. Therefore, when you see a sporty person, you automatically know that he or she is a disciplined, persevering and self-loving person. Accordingly, you can trigger all this in yourself by living a healthy and sporty life. The goal here is not to impress others. The goal is to impress yourself and to convey a positive feeling. Start looking in the mirror with pleasure. If you are dissatisfied with your current form, do something about it. Start being proud of yourself and your progress. What's stopping you now?
Your body is unique and more important than any material possession. Look after him accordingly. Eat a healthy diet and exercise sufficiently. Better health ensures more vitality and joie de vivre. This in turn increases your self- confidence and self-confidence. Always remember: your body is not a dream item that you have received from a genie in a bottle, but your real companion throughout your whole life. It is directly linked to your quality of life. In view of this, can it really be too strenuous to do sport now and then or to refrain from unhealthy temptations?
5. Measure for more self-confidence: Smile!
Yes, there we have again one of these banal tips, how one knows them from the advisor industry. Don't you worry. I don't recommend laughing yoga and I won't advise you to walk through your neighborhood laughing out loud. No, I just want to show you that great results do not always require great deeds. Often it is also the little things in which the great potential lies. So smile often! What's the matter with you? It's simple:
Imagine your normal everyday life. They meet hundreds of people a day, sometimes even thousands.