are not very politically correct like KISS—Keep It Simple Stupid. This can offend newcomers because they think they are being called “stupid.” At a time when experts are frantic to build our self-esteem, this sounds inappropriate. But our recovery is based on facts, not pop psychology, and we find that the slogans are often wisdom written in shorthand. After all, how smart is it to analyze, justify, and rationalize ourselves into paralysis? That is just what happens when we get so smart that we begin to read between the lines, looking for what is really meant, rather than the simple words on the page. The politically correct can tweak the KISS acronym to: “Keep It Simple Smarty” or “Sweetheart” or “Keep It Super Simple.” Yet, no matter how we say it, if we are not keeping it simple, then we are pretty stupid!
I keep it simple and surrender.
It was pop psychology time, and I didn't have the foggiest notion of what was going on. I was dazed and confused, a walking contradiction —"partly truth and partly fiction," as I think a songwriter once wrote.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 357
January 24
I don't think happiness is a remedy for unhappiness, like there, that was unhappy, now this is happy! ∼Nigella Lawson
Our society emphasizes that we ought to be happy on the whole, as a whole. Happiness is presented as the only “healthy” state of being. You have to be happy and that’s it! Life is not happy or unhappy in such a black and white manner. If we’re not happy, society often insists that something must be wrong. Yet, unhappiness is not a symptom of sickness. Instead, being unhappy is an expression of life—a natural reaction to situations we don’t like. It is a natural reaction to frustration, disappointments, unrequited love, and the bumps along the highway of life. It is healthy to be unhappy when life throws us curves. We mustn’t take in the message to be unhappy about being unhappy. Only chronic and unexplained unhappiness needs to be viewed as if “something is wrong.”
When unhappy, I live with only
one unhappiness, not two. I refuse to be
unhappy about being unhappy.
Throughout my using days I would always say, "I just want to be happy."
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 184
January 25
We too need to get over the questions that focus on the past and on the pain—“Why did this happen to me”’ —and ask instead the question which opens doors to the future: “Now that this has happened, what shall I do about it?” ∼Harold S. Kushner
Why him or her, why me, why now, why this way? “Why, why, why” is the loser’s chant. The question “why” keeps us focused on explanations, not resolutions. Once we stop analyzing why, we can ask the question that carries the solution within itself. “What do I do now?” This question places our focus in the present so we can reclaim our life, not simply lament it. We have found that if the addict within can get us asking the wrong questions, it won’t have to worry about our recovery-oriented answers! We learn to drop the questions that focus on blame and the past and to ask questions that contain the answers within the question such as, “What do I …?” and “How can I …?” We do not receive the right answer when we ask the wrong question.
I ask not “why” this or that has happened,
but “how” to deal with it now.
We ask three questions: Am I paying attention to my spiritual needs? Am I passing on what I've received? Am I living in the principles I've come to hold dear.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 84
January 26
Just for today I shall be unafraid. Particularly, I shall be unafraid to be happy, to enjoy what is good, what is beautiful, and what is lovely in life. ∼Father John Doe
In the 12-step programs, we learn that joy, peace, love, and happiness rightfully belong to us. Only fear stands between us and what is rightfully ours. If we work our Steps as directed, we have to face our fears. Yet, we don’t have to face them alone, because we have a new Employer. And our Employer has a really good employee assistance program that we can take advantage of. It’s called Chemically Dependent Anonymous. One of the greatest benefits of C.D.A. is that no fear will be faced alone. Thus, we see that the Power behind us is far greater than the fear ahead of us. Additional fringe benefits of working for this new Employer are joy, peace, love, and happiness.
I open myself up to
God’s way of doing business.
If we ask for His help, and let His plan and time and will be ours, we can let go of our old ideas, and fear of the future will leave us.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 110
January 27
Can I control my use of any form of mind or mood altering chemicals? Most addicts will see that control is impossible the moment it is suggested.
∼Narcotics Anonymous P 19
In C.D.A. we acknowledge our weakness with regard to not just our drug of choice, but to all mind-altering and mood-changing chemicals. We have learned that, for us, abusing prescribed medications or the use of any other chemical is considered a relapse. At one time, we were all delusional about our ability to control the use of any mind-altering or mood-changing chemical. Often, coming into recovery, we try to maintain that delusion to some degree. Maybe we think we can join another program that only specifies one chemical so we can keep using others. Maybe we keep our physician in the dark about our addiction so he might prescribe something if we should decide we need it. Fortunately, C.D.A. is our safe haven. C.D.A. is a place where we can explore the delusion that we might be able to use something at some time for some reason.
“Recovery is recovery is recovery” can only be understood if I know a “drug is a drug is a drug.”
{I} stopped taking any mood-altering substance, except for coffee. My "clean time" has just recently entered a phase which I dare call recovery.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 185
January 28
You can either be a host of God or a hostage of your Ego. ~Wayne Dyer
Eventually we come to find out that we are three people:
The person we want to be
•The person we don’t want to be
•The person we are
Accepting ourselves for who we are isn’t always easy. Sometimes, we are the person we imagine ourselves to be such as some spiritual guru that people in the Program are very impressed by. Sometimes, we act like the person we don’t want to be such as some self-absorbed “me-me-me” character. Either way, we are the hostage of our ego that Dyer speaks of. It is only when we are simply and purely the person we are that we can be a host of God.
Allowing myself to just be me,
I create the space for God to
work through me.
I accept whatever you have to give me, knowing that it will be what is best for me. Your guidance, your power, and your love will meet my every need, and will work through me to help others.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 48
January 29
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. ∼Mother Teresa
There are times when we hear people share in meetings and we don’t agree with their ideas, or we believe