win, not to whine. Beginners often find that “God’s will” is not exactly how they thought they wanted to live. In the beginning, many of us were only doing God’s will because we had to, not because we wanted to. Who wanted to put away chairs after a meeting when they could be in the parking lot flirting? Who wanted to 12-step someone at three in the morning when they had to get up early for work? Who wanted to pay back large sums of money when the victim might never find us? The wonderful thing about C.D.A., though, is that eventually we surrender to God’s will because we want to! And let us always remember that the quality of our recovery is proportional to the quality of our surrender.
I have to do God’s will until
I want to do God’s will.
The next step forward is to surrender ourselves to that power. However, most of us find control difficult to surrender.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 45
February 18
Be the change you want to see in the world. ~Mahatma Gandhi
How often have we participated in lengthy debates about the evils of our society? Liberals bash conservatives about being “greedy,” and conservatives bash liberals about “crippling” productive citizens. In recovery, the same type of discussion continues, with NA debating the usefulness of terms like “sobriety,” A.A. debating exactly how much one can mention the word drugs in a meeting, and C.D.A. deliberating about how open “open” should be. In the meantime, life goes on despite the “evils” of society, and people recover despite the language used in meetings. This is because the answers don’t come through discussion, they come through experience. What works, stays; and what doesn’t, goes. So, the answers to the great debates will only come as we become the answers we want to see in our world.
I do not demand that others change to suit me.
I become the change I want to see.
He started calling me all the time to tell me what was happening with his life, and I saw a miraculous change take place in him.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 288
February 19
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. ∼Alice Walker
Friendship has an uncanny way of reflecting back to us who and what we really are. Our friends become a window into our character by which we can see ourselves through the eyes of others. Hopefully, we surround ourselves with those who reflect love, compassion, and honesty. When we don’t, we have to take stock of who we allow into our lives. This may include letting go of people who were important to us at one time. Do our friends challenge our image of ourselves? Do they make us take an honest look at who we are and how we are growing? Does their character reflect the character we want to see in ourselves? Or do they let us get complacent in our recovery by remaining silent? We need to hear our friends when they lovingly tell us we are straying off the path. They also need to hear us when we do the same.
I honor myself and my friends when I allow
myself to see myself through their eyes.
I “listen” to their reflection of me.
But he {my friend} said something to me that really caused me to hit my emotional bottom that night. "You know something?" he told me. "You think you're better than everybody else."
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 290
February 20
Both read the Bible day and night,
But thou read’s black where I read white.
~William Blake
The old-timers’ experiences have left us a great legacy in recovery. They told us the Twelve Steps are a simple program for complicated people. It’s a simple program because the instructions are clear and concise. We’re complicated people because we have a peculiar knack for reading between the lines, and viewing ourselves as the exception to these simple suggestions. Because of this tendency, old-timers gave us these four questions by which we can learn to be true to our higher self:
1. Is it true or false?
2. How will it affect the other person?
3. Will it be part of the solution or part of the problem?
4. Is it right or wrong?
I make my C.D.A. program real simple.
I take the book out and read the black parts.
It's very simple - so simple that I almost didn't make it. But I had, and still have, today, a desire for a new way of life.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 143
February 21
As human beings, our greatness lays not so much in being able to remake the world … as in being able to remake ourselves. ∼Mahatma Gandhi
Our duty in living a clean, sober lifestyle is self-improvement. This can be attained by doing meritorious and moral actions as exemplified in the Twelve Steps. Most people seek to remake themselves in a material sense: increasing bank accounts, gaining social status, seeking fame, and improving appearances. In recovery, however, we have little interest in self-improvement regarding our socioeconomic condition. We strive instead for a spiritual self-improvement. The irony of this is that when we improve our spirit and live a meritorious and moral life, we receive material compensation in great measure! Remaking ourselves is not only a blessing to us, it also becomes a blessing to our families and communities as well.
I don’t worry about remaking the world, my community, or my family. I remake myself.
{S}taying clean and sober, becoming honest and clear, having strong relationships, contributing to the community—they are simply manifestations of this powerful, life giving process of transformation.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 79
February 22
Before spiritual awakening … work Steps, make coffee, carry the message. After spiritual awakening … keep working Steps, keep making coffee, keep carrying the message. ∼Zen for the Twelve Steps
Some spiritual experiences are the profound, “white-light, Bill W.” type, but more commonly, people in the 12-step programs experience a gentler, gradual awakening. If we have the more common gradual awakening, how will we know if and when we’ve had the spiritual experience spoken of in the Twelfth Step? Our members report these types of indicators as hallmarks of the spiritual experience: a newfound ability to live and let live coupled with frequent attacks of smiling; a new awareness of being connected with others, nature, and a Higher Power coupled with unexpected episodes of deep appreciation; anger is no longer our first response; we lose interest in taking the inventory of those around us; and we also find ourselves loving others without any hidden agenda.
I woke up this morning clean and sober.
That’s my spiritual awakening.
This experience was the beginning of my spiritual awakening. I finally became ready to start admitting that I had a problem with alcohol and drugs.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 364
February 23
Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. ∼Marilyn vos Savant
When we have a goal, we have a reason to get out of bed in the morning and to perform activities. When we fail to reach our goals, we may want to throw the blankets over our head and hide. When our goals are unrealistic (I can sponsor