Ph.D. Ph.D. Anonymous

Conscious Contact


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to do. Maybe they think the Program tells us how and when we are allowed to date in recovery. Maybe they present their opinions as program “facts.” When we hear things we don’t think are program, we learn how not to judge them. We learn that the best form of correction is to become a living program by showing them through the power of example. When judging others, we block our thought process to love. Mother Teresa did not judge the poor, she fed them. C.D.A. has taught us that we do not judge the poor in spirit, we nourish them.

      I may be the best or only example of the

      C.D.A. program that a newcomer ever sees.

      We are not judges. God is the only One who has a right to judge, for He alone knows the workings of our minds.

      ~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 89

      January 30

      Our troubles, we think are basically of our own making. ∼Alcoholics Anonymous P 62

      Sometimes it’s just easier to make the world seem crazy than it is to just admit to our own insanity or character defects. It’s the snide look on the cashier’s face, not our own impatience. It’s the slow waitress, not the fact that we didn’t give ourselves enough time. It’s the stupid county code, not the fact that we didn’t bring our dog’s pooper scooper to the park. We have a propensity for saying, “My mistake, your craziness,” excusing our own actions while accusing others for the same type of behavior. Unfortunately, we do have the ability to make the world seem unbelievably crazy. We do this because we don’t want to see that it is our own failings that are usually at the base of our annoyances and irritations.

      I work Step Ten when things don’t seem

      to go right. That way, I don’t go in the

      wrong direction for too long.

      As I grew increasingly more aware in my recovery—it was around the nine-month mark—I realized that there was a pattern to my life that was the source of my troubles.

      ∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 51

      January 31

      Why am I so sad? Why am I so upset? I should put my hope in God … ∼ Psalm 43:5

      Many of us came into the rooms of C.D.A. carrying a heart full of lifelong pain. We may have sought therapy to relieve the suffering, religion to quiet our spirit, or a relationship to fix us and make the pain go away. These things didn’t seem to work for long, if at all. We continued to drown our sorrows or self-medicate away the misery. It seldom occurred to us that the use of alcohol and drugs might be the cause of the pain, not the cure. It surely didn’t occur to us that therapy, religion, or relationships were hopeless in our lives so long as we were using. We learn in Step Two that a God of our understanding actually is the solution and the hope that we seek. Chemicals themselves were the barrier between us and our Higher Power, and if they didn’t actually start the pain, they surely prolonged it.

      Mind-affecting, mood-altering chemicals

      and unnecessary medications are not the

      solution to my problems. They are the problems.

      The pain that tore at our souls is transformed into a message of serenity, courage and wisdom.

      ∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 84

      February 1

      Laugh and the fellowship laughs with you. Cry and the fellowship won’t let you cry alone. ∼Shelly M.

      When we were using, by default, we ruled ourselves out of so many possibilities. Our options became fewer and fewer. Playfulness and laughter practically vanished from our lives. At first, mind-affecting chemicals made us laugh; although they quickly robbed us of the very joy we sought by taking them. In coming to C.D.A., we began to get well, and we enjoyed a giggle here and a chuckle there. Sometimes people tell their stories and the whole audience laughs in glee at the silly antics of what we did while in the grips of the disease or have done even in active recovery. In A.A., they tell us that “cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness” (Alcoholics Anonymous P 132). Laughter does become part of the equation again. The Program and the Fellowship have given us the ability to laugh again. So give back to the Fellowship by allowing your laughter to arise from deep within.

      The Fellowship tells me,

      “Laugh like you mean it,” and I do.

      When people were at the meetings, they were laughing from their hearts. I liked that.

      ∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 376

      February 2

      People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. ∼Joseph Fort Newton

      Lonely and alone are not the same thing. You can be alone without being lonely, and you can be lonely in a crowd of people. We come to trust in the Fellowship. We learn that none of us need ever be lonely again—so long as we choose not to be. The old-timers tell us that we get lonely when we build walls instead of doorways, or barricades instead of bridges. Building walls and barricades is a choice; therefore, loneliness is a choice. In times of trouble, and in times of stress, we can choose to open ourselves up or we can choose to erect a barrier. “Opening the door” and “building the bridge” means we needn’t be lonely, even when alone. Opening doors and building bridges involves allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by attending meetings, introducing ourselves to people, picking up the phone, working with our sponsor, doing service work, and praying to our Higher Power.

      Being alone does not mean that I am lonely.

      You can get through anything, just as I did. And you'll never have to do any of it alone.

      ∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 340

      February 3

      We’re all unique in our ability to share love with one another. ~Mike R.

      Many times an individual neglects the responsibility of service and sponsorship in helping a new member solely because they are not an attractive personality. The newcomer, having arrived from skid row, may act obnoxiously, dress poorly, or smell badly. More often, however, the newcomer’s religious, financial, or social status is simply incongruous with our own. Love, on the other hand, would dictate that we give to all, irrespective of such circumstances. We come into the Program as irresponsible people and we do not become responsible overnight. We strive for the perfect objective—that of loving the skid-row bum, the pimply-faced adolescent with attitude, and the woman with infected needle marks on her arms—but we often fall short. Even when we can’t muster loving feelings, we reach out anyway and claim progress. We continue our quest for unconditional love by accepting our responsibility to the newcomer.

      I reach out to every newcomer, not just

      the socially acceptable newcomers.

      I must do for the newcomer what was done for me when I came in.

      ~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 168

      February 4

      We shall not cease from exploration

      And the end of all our exploring

      Will be to arrive where we started

      And know the place for the first time. ∼T.S. Elliot

      Vigilance is the catalyst that fuels recovery. It creates the ability to observe and keep moving forward even when we aren’t sure where the path leads. We must be watchful of the actions of others and follow their