you with verses and prayers believing that God will "take this sin" from you? How does this affect your personal recovery program?
3.Do you ever find yourself in an "I've got this" mentality where you believe you can control or manage your addiction without the help of God and other people?
There are some active tasks you can do to help you in your recovery. There are other things, however, that are beyond your control. To distinguish between these two takes wisdom. This process of collaborating with God is captured eloquently in the Serenity Prayer.
Serenity Prayer
Begin your study of the Serenity Prayer. The short version of the Serenity Prayer is perhaps the most important twenty-seven words written for people in recovery from any addiction. There is much wisdom in the Serenity Prayer. As an act of faith, commit to memorizing the short version of the prayer so that you can quote it silently or aloud at any time. Written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, this prayer provides critical guidance for recovery:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Many are familiar with these words. What many do not know is that this is an abbreviated version of a longer prayer written by Niebuhr. The full version states:
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
Read this longer version of the Serenity Prayer several times. If possible, read it out loud. As you read this prayer, breathe deeply, and allow the words to permeate not only your mind but also your heart.
•What word or phrase emerges as most important for you at this point in your recovery journey?
•What makes this word or phrase so important to you right now? That is, what is the personal meaning of this word or phrase?
God, grant me the serenity
With these beginning words, we acknowledge that our serenity will come from God and it is on Him that we must rely. "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7).
. . . to accept the things that cannot be changed
With these words, we admit that there are parts of our addiction over which we are powerless. Our attempts to change that which is beyond our control can become a flash point for our addiction. We attempt to change the unchangeable when we are not at peace with our limitations, when we refuse reality. With these words, however, we agree to accept life on life's terms, including recognizing that there are some aspects of our lives that we cannot change.
. . . courage to change the things which should be changed
While there is assuredly an act of surrender in admitting and confessing our addiction and finding the peace that comes with accepting aspects of our lives that we cannot change, other aspects of recovery require action, some of which are difficult and painful, and easy to avoid. This is why it is so important to pray for courage to take action where it is needed.
. . . taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it
Again, with these words, we are called to the act of acceptance. Even as we engage in an active process of recovery, we recognize that harboring resentments about our struggles and what we do not have or did not get in our early lives will not serve our recovery in any way. Our judgments of others and our resentments toward what is and what is not will actually make recovery far more difficult.
. . . if I surrender to Your will
Step Eleven encourages us to deepen our conscious contact with God, "praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." With these words, we are reminded that when we were active in our addiction, we were not submitting to God's will. The call to recovery also is a call to discern and surrender to God's will for us.
. . . reasonably happy in this life
With these words, Niebuhr offers a reality check that is more relevant now than when he wrote the words in the 1940s. We live in a society that all too often promotes immediate gratification. Ever desiring happiness and being averse to difficulty, we seek a life of constant pleasure that, simply stated, is not realistic. We face hard and difficult days. At times, we are sad. At other times, we are fearful. This is the human condition. By practicing acceptance and surrendering to God's will for our lives, though, we can be "reasonably happy," which is a far more realistic and sustainable goal!
. . . supremely happy with You forever
While we are offered the promise of being realistically happy in this life, God has promised an eternity that no human can fathom (Ecclesiastes 3:10–12).
Hope for Recovery
Many Christian men and women have come to us seeking guidance for recovery from sexual addiction. They report past behaviors counter to the very essence of who they are as Christians. Many question whether they even are Christians, exclaiming, "How can I really be a Christian given all of my sin?"
This is complex. Some hold fast to a core belief that they are hopelessly flawed, that somehow they don't deserve to be forgiven. Others believe that God is limited in His capacity to forgive.
Either way, whether this belief is more about yourself or about God, you have likely subscribed to this belief for some time and will not easily adopt a new way of thinking.
But you can change these beliefs—and you should—because scripture tells us time and again that neither of these beliefs is true. By relying on scripture and the support of important people around you, you can slowly take on new beliefs and, indeed, must do so in order to fully embrace recovery.
If you are questioning whether you can truly be a follower of Jesus given your history and current struggles, remember the stories of the Samaritan woman in the Gospel of John and the prodigal son in the Gospel of Luke.
The Samaritan Woman